ZORB THE SCHLONGER profile picture

ZORB THE SCHLONGER

I AM ZORB THE SCHLONGER! I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR BROWNHOLES!

About Me

I AM ZORB THE SCHLONGER! I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR BROWNHOLES!................................................. .....................MEAT MY WIFE, SUXCOX THE SCHWALLOWER. .................................HER SISTER GAG THE RELUCTANT. ...............................................AND HER HUSBAND, WHO IS A FOREIGNER, HASSA JOKOFFALOT. ............................................................ ........................I SEARCH FOR MY BROTHER, SCHLORB THE ENWEDGED. ..................HE IS TOO HIGH ON BROWNHOLE AND CANNOT FIND HIS WAY HOME. I MISS MY SLIGHTLY LESS ATTRACTIVE BROTHER. EVEN THOUGH HE IS A SHAMELESS CAT GREASER. .AND HE SNIFFS THE OOZING BROWNHOLES OF THE HOMELESS AS THEY SLEEP. .AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT HIS MOTHER WON'T GIVE ME A GUMJOB. ............................................................ .............I HAVE SEARCHED ALL OF HIS FAVORITE HANGOUTS. THE FORTH MOON OF CRAMASSULON SIX, THE SPERM BATHS OF JACKULOB ELEVEN, THE ENGORGED PUMPFOREST OF JALUCIDAR, AND THE SOUTH SEATTLE STEAM BATHS, WHERE I HEAR HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAT SOME GUY NAMED JEFF. .I HAVE EVEN SAVED HIM A QUART OF HIS FAVORITE DRINK, JUICE OF FERMENTED ASSCORN. PINCHED, NOT MASHED. WHERE COULD HE BE? I FEAR HE HAS FALLEN AND CANNOT GET OFF...

My Interests

TAKING BROWNHOLES, ENSLAVING HUMANITY, KILLING EVERYONE, RULING THE WORLD, STARTING MY OWN CHURCH... THE CHURCH OF GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND YOUR DAUGHTERS.

I'd like to meet:

A GRINDER, A BUMPER, WITH A PRE-MOISTENED DUMPER.

Music:

ZORB HAS THE UNIQUE ABILITY TO RECIEVE, OR ABZORB, IF YOU WILL, CERTAIN FREQUENCIES THAT ARE PLEASURABLE, THROUGH TINY STINGING SPINES THAT PROTRUDE FROM WARTS ON HIS MUCUS COVERED PENILE EXTREMITY. AMONG HIS FAVORITE TRANSMISSIONS ARE THESE FANTASTIC SONIC PIONEERS........... ALL PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE RECORDING ARTISTS WITH CRYSTAL DEATH RECORDS, THE METALLOYD, ELKFISH, DEAD, MONTY ADAMS FRYING CIRCUS, DJ CAMARO, SLOW DEATH, DISTURBO, MEATLIP, XS PWR, MC MADD MUKK, I'M GOING TO EAT IT, TRIKE, W.A.D., ANGRY ARMPITS, G.G. ALLIN, SLAYER, MELVINS, THE MENTORS, DAYGLO ABORTIONS, TO NAME BUT A FEW.

Movies:

ANYTHING KIND OF ALONG THESE LINES RIGHT HERE.

Television:

ADULT SWIM

Books:

MIGHT IS RIGHT,THE BLACK MASS,VARNEY THE VAMPIRE,

Heroes:

MY COCK,ABORTION,CANCER,EVIL,MY FIST,ASMODEUS,SKYNET,THE MANSON FAMILY,RAGE,SICKNESS,ORGASMS,RUNNING OUT OF TOILET PAPER,FOOD POISONING,HATRED,SLUTS,NUCLEAR WEAPONS,FIRES,DEATH,METH,HITLER,AIDS,FEAR,POISON IVY,PLANE CRASHES,MISERY,THANATOS,HEART DISEASE,TSUNAMI,HORROR,OPEN WOUNDS,INCONTINENCE,ELRIC OF MELNIBONE,YOUR MOTHERS ASS,URANUS,MENTAL ILLNESS,VIOLENCE,MISANTHROPY,SHARKS,SERIAL KILLERS,SADDAM HUSSEIN,GUNS,HOMICIDE,WAR CRIMES,WAR,POLPOT,SUICIDE,GENOCIDE,KNIVES,HEROIN,EARTHQUAKES ,CRACK,CRACK WHORES,THE BACK OF YOUR MOTHERS THROAT,BAD TRIPS,DRUNKEN INBREEDERS,POISONOUS SNAKESAND SPIDERS,HUNTING ACCIDENTS,BROKEN TOILETS,HUMAN SUFFERING,STORMBRINGER,BEELZEBUB,

My Blog

DELETED

I dun been dissed too many times in not enough days And so I says fuck it The Muse has fled screaming in terror Fuck that stupid bitch anyway She's what got me into this in the first place When she g...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:07:00 PST

HOMEGROWN

TODAY I HEARD SOME IGNORANT WOMAN ON SOME NEWS PROGRAM. I DON'T KNOW, BUT SOME SAY THAT THE NEWS IN THIS COUNTRY IS BIASED. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. BUT I DO KNOW THAT WHEN I WATCH GERMAN JOURNAL, O...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 09:12:00 PST

BRAKE JOB

CRANKENSTEIN FEVERS, METHALOGICAL DREAM. RACKED BY THE SHIVERS, A DWINDLING HEAD OF STEAM. LINE AFTER LINE, AND GETTING NO HIGHER.EPSOM AND LYE, WILL NOT GET YOU WIRED....
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Mon, 30 Jul 2007 11:48:00 PST

MORNING A.A. MEETING

SICK AGAIN, I FEEL LIKE SHIT I WISH I'D STAYED IN BED I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND I HAVE THIS PAIN IN MY HEAD MY STOMACH IS CHURNING MY BODY, IT SHAKES I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD AT AL...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 11:07:00 PST

THE TABLE

I LAYED HER DOWN ONCE ON THE TABLE AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN IF I'M ABLE AND THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE AND WE'VE HAD ALL OUR FUNTHERE'LL BE A BIG MESS IN HER NAVEL...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 10:50:00 PST

DEPRESSION

DEPRESSION. LIVING SEETHING DEPRESSION. I HATE IT. FEELING LIKE THIS IS STUPID. UNHEALTHY. DEPRESSION IS SOMETHING I NEED TO OVERCOME. BUT EVERY TIME I DO, IT COMES BACK. DEPRESSION. NO MONSTER. NO CL...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 02:19:00 PST

DOORS

I'M TRAPPED IN A SURREAL LANDSCAPE OF DOORS. HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS OF DOORS. I'VE BEEN OPENING THEM, ANTICIPATING LIFE. OVERFLOWING WITH A HUNGER AS I SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS. BUT ALL THE DOORS OPENED O...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:47:00 PST

SYSTEM EMBRACE

DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN YOU'VE HELD ME FAR TOO LONG YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME YOU JUST WON'T LEAVE ME BE YOU'VE HELD ME FAR TOO LONG GET THE FUCK UP OFF OF ME WHY CA...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 11:50:00 PST

BROKEN CAMP TOILET - A TRUE STORY OF WOE

SMOKE DRIFTS GHOSTLY  WANTING A SPIRIT DOOMED TO FADE OFTEN BECOMING REAL AS A HOUSEFLY WAVED AWAY FIRE CLAIMS LESS WITHOUT IT GRAY LILITH NOTE HOLDING YOU IN SLEEP FOLLOWING SONG NOSTALGIC GAME ...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:16:00 PST

FUCKED BY JESUS

OK, HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.   THE CATHOLIC CHURCH JUST REACHED A SETTLEMENT IN THE SEXUAL ABUSE/CHILD RAPE CASE. THE AMOUNT TO BE PAID IS $165,000,000. YES, THAT'S ONE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-FIVE MILLION DOLL...
Posted by ZORB THE SCHLONGER on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 01:29:00 PST