Keith! profile picture

Keith!

Sea Roach!

About Me


"I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito."
"I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said Please Try Again because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."
"I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, 'Pass the salt.' I said, 'Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.'"
"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"
"I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado."
"I got a belt on that's holding up my pants, and the pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What's going on here? Who is the real hero?"
"I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?"
"I saw a billboard for the lottery. It said, 'Estimated lottery jackpot 55 million dollars.' I did not know that was estimated. That would suck if you won and they said, 'Oh, we were off by two zeroes. We estimate that you are angry.'"
"I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, 'I hear music.' As if there was any other way you can take it in. That's how I receive it too. You're not special."
"If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out."
"I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me."
Courtesy of Mitch Hedburg
Some friends and I wrote, shot, edited and composed for this film in 48 hours:

My Interests

Good company, good books, good times, good cooks.

I'd like to meet:

John Cassavetes, Chris Marker, Edward Albee, Mike Leigh.
Who I'd like to be:

Music:

According to Yahoo! I have a high regard for the following artists: Big Mama ThorntonMuddy WatersAntibalas Afrobeat OrchestraLed ZeppelinGorillazDavid BowieBob DylanThievery CorporationSolomon BurkeCelia CruzDire StraitsCafe TacubaModern Jazz QuartetChico MannJohn Lee HookerCount BasieThe Velvet UndergroundThe PretendersThe Chemical BrothersRae & Christian Marvin GayeMerle HaggardAstrud GilbertoAl GreenAphex TwinDan HicksBillie HolidayShirley HornJimi HendrixGeorge HarrisonHowlin' WolfLouis ArmstrongBlind Lemon JeffersonWaylon JenningsJethro TullMilt JacksonRobert JohnsonChris IsaakJefferson AirplaneLouis Jordan Joy DivisionEtta JonesEtta JamesJurassic 5Janis JoplinThe Kingston TrioAntonio Carlos JobimAutechreAlbert KingGladys KnightKruder & DorfmeisterThe KinksDiana KrallLa LupitaTaj MahalBachman-Turner OverdriveLoretta LynnBob MarleyMassive AttackMaldita Vecindad Chet BakerMetallicaCurtis MayfieldCarmen McRaeSteve Miller BandMolokoCharles MingusVan MorrisonWillie NelsonNew York DollsPearl JamThe O'JaysCharlie ParkerNirvanaSyd BarrettNine Inch NailsThe OffspringOutkastRoy OrbisonThe Pixies Tito PuenteTom PettyPortisheadThe PretendersOscar PetersonPink FloydThe RamonesIggy PopThe ProdigyR.E.M.Red Hot Chili PeppersThe PoliceRadioheadElvis PresleyRage Against The MachineThe BeatlesThe Rolling StonesThe RootsBeckSmokey Robinson Mongo SantamariaDJ ShadowDavid SanchezThe Sex PistolsSimon & GarfunkelRavi ShankarSilver JewsJimmy SmithKenny Wayne ShepherdNina SimoneSocial DistortionJello BiafraStone Temple PilotsStiff Little FingersIke & Tina TurnerU2United Future OrganizationPeter ToshThe TemptationsTortoise Toots & The MaytalsThe Violent FemmesStevie Ray VaughanThe WallflowersThe WailersBlack SabbathThe VandalsSarah VaughanBlack UhuruTom WaitsSonny Boy WilliamsonHank WilliamsT-Bone WalkerDinah WashingtonRoger WatersYo La TengoChuck BerryThe YardbirdsLester YoungThe Animals Bobby WomackFats DominoBuddy HollyLink WrayJimmie RodgersPaul Revere & The RaidersBo DiddleyThe DriftersBlurLe GoosterFatboy SlimAmon TobinControl MacheteMolotovRay CharlesBooker T.Dzihan & KamienCut ChemistTed Leo & The PharmacistsJon Brion Jimmy Page & Robert PlantA Forest Mighty BlackAC/DCFabolousOzomatliEric BurdonDjango ReinhardtBoards Of CanadaManu ChaoSquarepusherEminemRick BraunJ. Frank WilsonFela KutiJames BrownEl Gran SilencioBuckwheat ZydecoThe White StripesPaul ButterfieldThe Byrds Big Brother & The Holding CompanyFlogging MollyGroove ArmadaSean PaulAirCody ChesnuttJohnny CashNuspirit HelsinkiGotan ProjectGilles PetersonT. RexBobby HughesThe Dead MilkmenJazzanovaHarry ChapinToscaDeltron 3030Dan The AutomatorSt. GermainThe Clash Erasure Eek-A-Mouse Aretha Franklin Ella Fitzgerald Filter GZA/Genius Dizzy Gillespie Tico Alegre All-Stars She Wants Revenge The Stooges Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Movies:

Recently saw: "Die Hard 4" -Entertaining fluff; watching Willis drive from place to place was enjoyable.
"Disturbia" -I accidentally watched it, a rip off so solid, you stop caring.
"Stardust" -Imagninative and engaging, a prime esample of why Gaiman is such a great writer.
"Transformers" -Effects and women were visually stunning for about 30 minutes.
"Mrs. Potter" -Literally the most pleasant movie I have ever seen. The Tale of Peter Rabbit had more tension.
"American Dreamz" -Umm, yeah. Obvious presidential parody + parody of already self-parodying reality television = worst movie ever made?
"My Cousin Vinny" -Again. I've had a crush on Tomei since this movie came out.
"The Simpsons Movie" -Funnier than the last 10 seasons combined. Stands on its own.
"Dark Days" -Again. So moving.
"1408" -Effective and suspenseful horror. 'It's an evil fucking room.'
"Talk to Her" -Almodóvar has set the bar so high, this one couldn't quite clear it.
"Ocean's 13" -Personality does not make a movie. Why Soderbergh, why?
"The Devil Wears Prada" -Brandi was like: $5,000; $7,000; Manolo, sex and the city costume designer. Entertaining but flawed.
"The Devil and Daniel Johnston" -One of the better 'tortured artist' docs. Like the lyrics, not sure about the music.
"Waitress" -Most likeable chicks I have seen in a chick flick. Who knew Russel could act?
"Ratatouille" -Ego's first taste of the title dish was worth the price of admission alone. A charming version of Willard from the rat's perspective.
"The Barbarian Invasions" -A solidly constructed drama. Apparently Moore's vision of socialized medicine is not all it's cracked up to be.
"Inland Empire" -Good but overlong, only because I was lost for a while. A film for certain women I think.
"Knocked Up" -Really funny, like a contemporary Mazursky film.
"A Pervert's Guide to the Cinema" -A renowned psychoanalist puts many of my all time favorite directors on the couch - Lynch, Chaplin, Hitchcock, Kieslowski, Tarkovsky. The result is the best movie I have seen in a very very long time.
"Amelie" -Again.
"Night of the Comet" -Not a highlight in my recent run of postapocalyptic fare.
"The Break-Up" -Exactly what the title says. Good movie, I was shocked.
"Dressed to Kill" & "Body Double" -Style, substance, suspense and neuroses. But dated as all hell.
"28 Days Later" -What makes us human.
"Spiderman 3" -Chicken soup for the comic book lovers soul. Venom rocks.
"Coffy" & "Foxy Brown" -King George, The Ranch and boobs galore - with guest appearance by Sid Haig.
"Reign Over Me" -I'm gonna toast him! Sloppily pieced together, almost worked.
"The Last Samurai" -Tell me how he died. -No, I will tell you how he lived. Come on...
"The Swinging Barmaids," "The Swingin' Pussycats" & "The Swinging Cheerleaders" -After the "Fritz the Cat" trailer, it was all a blur.
"Year of the Dog" -Sympathy lost, point taken.
"Wes Craven's New Nightmare" -I'm embarrased to say I even saw this one.
"Grindhouse" -The most fun I have had at a movie in a long time.
"Lady in Red" & "Bare Knuckles" -Only at the grindhouse...
"Idiocracy" -When logic doesn't work, go with what works.
"Land of the Dead" -An intelligent social commentary on class struggles - one class just happens to be Zombies.
"Nights of Cabiria" -One of the most wonderful characters in all of cinema.
"300" -Painted on the big screen.
"Volver" -Like a chick flick - except really, really good.
"Angel-A" -Go see it if you don't love yourself.
"Masters of the Universe" -Why wasn't this the Star Wars of the 80's?
"The Mack" -Style and intent count for an awful lot.
"Zodiac" -The two best movies I have seen so far this year.
"The Mirror" -I think Tarkovsky had some mother issues.
"Notes on a Scandal" -Very T.C. Boyle
"Jesus Camp" -Not as disturbing as it should have been.
"The Last Kiss" -I kept picturing Turk in all the other roles.
"Vera Drake" -Amazing, almost perfect.
"Last King of Scotland" -He had it coming.
"Letters from Iwo Jima" -Clint channeling Kurosawa.
"Apocalypto" -"Last of the Rambo's"
"Breach" -You're out of your element Phillipe!
"The Queen" -2nd best of the year.
Best in Recent Memory: "Children of Men"
"In every child who is born, no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again: and in him, too, once more, and of each of us, our terrific responsibility toward human life; toward the utmost idea of goodness, of the horror of terror, and of God." - James Agee
Can't wait to see:
If you've seen them let me know what you thought!
Art

Television:

The Colbert Report.
The Sopranos (RIP)
Entourage
The Office

Books:

Currently Reading: "The Sound and the Fury" -Faulkner
Patches of engaging writing interspersed with patches of incomprehensibility and patches of brilliance. We'll see where it goes...
"Dark Star Safari" -Theroux
Taking a while, but among the most enlightening non-fiction I have ever read.
Just Finished: "Overgrad" -Gemballa
Shepard, Mr. Bing, and Leo, it's almost like I know these people. Congats Mike.
"The Road" -McCarthy
What you alter in the remembering has yet a reality, known or not. Powerful, but Horses was better on first reading.
"Don't Make a Black Woman Take off her Earings" -Perry
Some really good advice and some really bad advice.
"I think we have the power to change. You don't have any choice of who you're born to or where you come from. But you do have the choice of where you go from there. I think that we have the power, each and every one of us, every day, to change our lives."
Oh yeah, and it was kind of funny too.
"All the Pretty Horses" - McCarthy
"He'd half meant to speak but those eyes had altered the world forever in the space of a heartbeat."
"The Poetry Chains of Dominic Luxford" - Charles Simic was the highlight.
"One Hundred Years of Solitude" - Marquez
Pure Dream-Literature:
"Fernanda told them that she was happy and in reality she was, precisely because she felt free from any compromise, as if life were pulling her once more toward the world of her parents, where one did not suffer with day-to-day problems because they were solved beforehand in one’s imagination."
"Interpreter of Maladies" - Lahiri
Better than the best of early Campion.
"Post Office" - Bukowski
He's a self aggrandizing prick who occasionally captures a slice of humanity. I love it.
Recently Read and Loved: "The Corrections" - Franzen
I was terrified of becoming the father.
Recently Couldn't Finish: "The Noonday Demon" - Solomon
I'll get back to it.
"Dream of Fair to Middling Women" - Beckett
It started out hilariously, then turned arcane.
Places New Beverly Cinema,
Downtown L.A.,
Tsukiji Fish Market,
My kitchen
Rosarito during Lobster Season,
B's Apartment,
The Getty
A darkroom...

Heroes:

My left hand. Because it always knows what my right hand is doing.

My Blog

Restaurant Reviews

Because we are all amateur gourmands.   http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=m2YrYuHGpkceHLo64dA5 3A...
Posted by Keith! on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 11:03:00 PST