I'm originally from Ne'castle in the north east of england. I joined the army when i left school so i could see the world and kill people.
After getting up to alsorts in manilla and owning a monkey, I moved back to the UK and got a job at a motel in Norwich. I was fired after two years of hard work after I swore at and threatened a guest at his leaving party.
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A had nee idea that he would torn oot tu be a good mate. He's caaalled Alan Partidge. He used to be on the telly and then got depressed and got a ukranian girlfriend. He's got a boook on sale in the station.
Me other mates are Tom Donaldson. I used to gan tu school wi him and he lives lurcal in norwich. Dan Moody is anotha one what comes in from time tu time but his mrs is a bit sex pest.
oh aye, i aaaalmurst forgot abooot tex - he's real name is terry but he like american things so we aaall caaall him Tex. - he names his pick up truck "convoy" and he's coming back ovva sooon.
i also like watching documentaries aboot weather, strong men and organised crime....
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