K.C. profile picture

K.C.

No one cares if you're funny. They do laugh though.

About Me

About KC

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-I was born with a physical hole in my heart.
-My first sentence was "Dinosaurs eat eggs."
-My earliest memory is when I was three years old playing hide and seek with my dad and vomiting in reaction to his finding me.
-My favorite color is purple.
-Lots of the time when I leave a message for someone, as soon as I hang up I think that I referred to them by the wrong name. I also think that I might have said "I love you, bye."
-I try to avoid contact with my neighbors. Every time I'm riding the elevator to the lobby and it stops to let someone on, I get angry.
-One time in the fourth grade I told my gym teacher that I hoped he would die on the toilet.
-One time in the fifth grade I threw a basketball at a teacher who made me mad somehow.
-I was home schooled for the sixth grade.
-Some time during that year I called my mom a dingleberry without knowing what it meant.
-Currently I make up songs about my dog...
-Most of the lyrics are my dog's name.
-When I take off my underwear, I pull it down to my feet, remove my left foot, and then use my right foot to toss the underwear upwards so I can catch it in midair. I feel really cool every time I do so.
-Lots of the time I don't take my socks off before going to sleep and then I regret it in the morning.
-If I stand at just the right angle in the shower, water runs off my penis in a way that makes it look like I'm peeing endlessly.
-When I get out of the shower, I stand with my right foot on the edge of the tub for a minute as if I have just discovered a new land.
-I think pregnant women are hot.
-I can't ride a bike and I'm pretty terrible at swimming.
-In the ninth grade I had long, blue hair because I hated myself.
-I went to my senior prom in character as a Russian exchange student named Vladimir Broshkalov...
-If I encounter an insect indoors, I capture it and release it outside.
-I fantasize about having a lightsaber at least once every day.
-I think about having sex with just about every person I meet, for better or worse.
-I often get obsessed with avoiding stepping on cracks in the pavement.
-Also, sometimes I pretend that something is chasing me.
You Have A Type A- Personality
You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.
When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds Do You Have a Type A Personality?
Future Rollin'

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My Interests

Writing, Directing, Acting, Singing, Editing, Drawing, Legos, Quantum Physics, Masturbating, Cracking open the heads of Iraqi children to get at the sweet sweet oil that is inside...

I'd like to meet:



The Intelligentsia...

...and twiiins!

But seriously, I already have the coolest friends in the world...

WWW.FUNNYMOVIEINTERNET.COM

Music:

They Might Be Giants, the Beatles, Beck, Weird Al Yankovic, David Bowie, Ben Folds, Belle and Sebastian, the 5,6,7,8s, the B-52s, Cake, the Go! Team, the Beach Boys, Daft Punk, Gnarls Barkley, Franco Battiato, the Dust Brothers, Jacques Dutronc, Cornershop, Le Tigre, Fanny Pack, Gwen Stefani, Architecture in Helsinki, Neutral Milk Hotel, the Dickies, the Kingston Trio, the Vandals, Guttermouth, Giant Drag, the Ramones, the Beastie Boys, Gorillaz, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Chicago, the Andrews Sisters, Ennio Morricone, Brian Wilson, Bjork, Iggy Pop, John Williams, Blur, the Clash, DJ Z-Trip, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, the White Stripes, Roy Orbison, Pizzicato 5, Puffy Amiyumi, Johnny Cash, The Flaming Lips, the Violent Femmes, Jon Brion, Michael Jackson, Gil Scott-Heron, Led Zeppelin, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Tom Jones, Queen, Ween, Simon and Garfunkel, Radiohead, Kanye West, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Modest Mouse, the Pixies, CCR, the Kinks, the Yardbirds, !!!, Bloc Party, LCD Soundsystem, Nino Rota, Abba, Television Theme Songs

Movies:

The Works of: the Coen Brothers, Todd Solondz, Stanley Kubrick, Terry Gilliam, Alexander Payne, Paul Thomas Anderson, Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Ang Lee, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, the Wachowski Brothers, Mamoru Oshii, Jim Jarmusch, Jim Henson, Alfonso Cuaron, David Lynch, Monty Python, Roman Polanski, Tim Burton, Terry Zwigoff, Michel Gondry, Spike Jonze, Charlie Kaufman, Mike White, Richard Linklater, Takashi Miike, David Wain, Michael Showalter, Brad Bird, John Lasseter, Paul Dini, Martin Scorsese, Ed Wood Jr., Tommy Wiseau, Paul Verhoeven, Oliver Stone, Guillermo Del Toro, Christopher Guest, Alfred Hitchcock, Michael Moore, David Fincher, Bryan Singer, Sam Raimi, Richard Kelly, James Cameron, David O. Russel, Rob Reiner, Carl Reiner, Chris Farley, Ivan Reitman, Baz Luhrman, Richard Donner, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Luc Besson, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, M. Night Shyamalan, Tobe Hooper, Brian De Palma, Michael Mann, John Carpenter, George A. Romero, Spike Lee, Stephen Chow, Darren Aronofsky, Akira Kurosawa, Orson Welles

Television:

Battlestar Galactica, Wonder Showzen, The Office, The Simpsons, Futurama, Veronica Mars, House, Mr. Show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Monty Python's Flying Circus, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Upright Citizens Brigade, the Ben Stiller Show, the State, Space Ghost, Sealab 2021, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Home Movies, Tom Goes to the Mayor, the Brak Show, Family Guy, Twin Peaks, Infomercials, the Real Ghostbusters, the People's Court, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Inspector Gadget, Clone Wars, Freaks and Geeks, Star Trek, Chappelle's Show, South Park, Kids in the Hall, Spongebob Squarepants, Ren and Stimpy, Invader Zim, Doug, the Adventures of Pete and Pete, Da Ali G Show, Real Sex, and, of course, Jem (if you watch enough episodes in a row, time starts to slow down and eventually stops)

Books:

Harry Potter, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, Stranger in a Strange Land, Breakfast of Champions, the Sirens of Titan, Slapstick, American Psycho, Ham on Rye, Post Office, What Makes Sammy Run?, Invisible Man, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Software, Wetware, the Age of Spiritual Machines, Faces in the Smoke, Neuromancer, Geek Love

Heroes:

In elementary school my friends and I would play super heroes at recess. We'd all run out to the sandbox and then one by one choose which super hero (or villain) we wanted to be. I would usually be Spider-Man or Wolverine. One kid always wanted to be Beetle. Every day, fucking Beetle. If you don't know, Beetle is this really lame super villain from the Spider-Man comics. Every day we'd ask him why the fuck he wanted to be Beetle. He would say "Because he's super cool and he can fly and shoot stingers!" Then other times we would play Star Wars. On the swings. First we had to choose which ship we were. I was usually a B-Wing. Then we'd swing and yell lines from the movie. I would usually yell "Stay on target!" We were extremely cool and popular kids.

My Blog

K.C. is Awkward

So a little while ago I decided to check my mail. I went down to the lobby, opened my mailbox, and discovered three Netflix envelopes. I got on the elevator, returned to my floor, and began to walk ...
Posted by K.C. on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 07:59:00 PST

A Saturday Morning in Germany...

Imagine it for a moment.... won't you?....... Though rebuilding after World War II was a daunting challenge for Germany, in no way does it compare to the endless...
Posted by K.C. on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 02:03:00 PST

DINO-RIDERS!

Terrible cartoon intro. No actual song. But that doesn't matter. The toys were the coolest shit ever... That's right. Fucking dinosaurs with little guys that ride them and rocke...
Posted by K.C. on Sat, 26 May 2007 10:01:00 PST

In case you haven't watched Planet Earth...

BBC and Discovery's PLANET EARTH:The Snow Leopard... Birds of Paradise... Insects and Fungus... Vampire Squid... Hopping Lizards... Angel Falls... ...
Posted by K.C. on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 02:47:00 PST

MR. T : LIVING WITH BEING A FOOL, AND HOW TO CHANGE...

Famed motivational speaker and life guidance counselor "Mr. T" has recently released a new video that every young person or person who knows a young person should see. Everyone knows that big...
Posted by K.C. on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 05:09:00 PST

Who hasn't seen "Best Friends"?

It's one of the first FunnyMovieInternet movies that we made a long time ago. But now it's finally up in a nice, big, pretty quicktime format. And I'm still proud of it despite its flaws. So if you...
Posted by K.C. on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:12:00 PST

Oh snap, Girlfriend Season is here.

...according to True Singles. Of course, the girlfriend will probably try to convince me that it's boyfriend season. And then the boyfriend will get really exasperated and insist that it is in fact ...
Posted by K.C. on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 10:02:00 PST

Conservatives Take a Swing at Comedy...

The Fox News Channel has just ordered 13 episodes of a program entitled "The 1/2 Hour News Hour"... It's basically conservative "comedians" trying to compete with the The Daily Show....
Posted by K.C. on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 08:44:00 PST

First Pimple

I got my first pimple on my face ever. On my chin. So I guess I'm finally going through puberty, right? My genitals should start growing any day now.
Posted by K.C. on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 05:09:00 PST

I'm so happy

I'm so happy because the big shiny sun rises every morning to say "Hello!"And the birds chirp and sing about bird happiness and the trees sway to the rhythm of your heart.Mr. Bear awakens from his hib...
Posted by K.C. on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:29:00 PST