ALLLLLLL ABOARD MY SHORT BUS!!!! WHERE THE COOL KIDS RULE!!! YOU CAN NEVER BEAT A BUS THAT IS FULLY EQUIPPED WITH: TURBO TUBULAR COOL HELMETS, ULTRA THICK DEPENDS OR IN SOME CASES "OOPS I CRAPPED MY PANTS!", DROOL RAGS AND SOMETIMES DROOL BUCKETS, WHEELCHAIRS(EVEN SOMETIMES THOSE REAL HIGH TECH RASCAL ELECTRIC ONES DURING OUR FIELDTRIPS), SPECIAL PARKING IN EVERY PARKING LOT, MUZZLES FOR ALL YOU FUCKING BITERS OUT THERE, SEATBELTS, LEASHES, CHEST STRAPS TO PREVENT FALLING ONTO THE FLOOR, A STEADY FLOW OF ALCOHOL, AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF MEDS OF ALL KINDS ESPECIALLY RITALIN, DEXEDRINE, ADDERALL, AND ALL OTHER STIMULANTS...PLUS WE'RE SO COOL WE DON'T HAVE STEPS...WE GET A MOTORIZED PLATFORM TO LIFT US UP AND INTO THE BUS...NOTHING BEATS MY SHORT BUS KIDS D-D-DEFINITELY...DEFINITELY NOTHING BEATS MY BUS...DEFINTELYDEFINITELY!!!!!BUT YOU MUST KNOW THE SHORT BUS BYLAWS & REGULATIONS
There are strict rules and regulations that must be abided by at all times.NUMBER 1. Your protective headgear/helmets must under-go a full examination and must
pass our hit proof and crash-test.NUMBER 2. Your lunchbox and the contents therein will be examined to make sure
it contains medications, beer, any and all messy food to be fully enjoy half in our stomachs and half on our faces...a thermos filled with alphabet soup enabling us to practice our daily dirty words lesson on the windows with the noodles...spiked kool-aid, always enjoyed much more with the ever so awesome kool-aid mustache...and any toxic materials are always welcomed...it's not like we need to worry about loosing our brain cells. Infact we encourage that!NUMBER 3. All crayons & finger-paints must be edible (non-toxic is prefered but here again Toxic wouldn't be a problem).NUMBER 4. Your thermos too must be fully checked to be sure all gaskets and
seals are in place and are functioning correctly. No leaky thermoses
allowed on board!NUMBER 5. The velcro on your shoes must be fastened securely.NUMBER 6. Nurse Corky must be allowed to perform a non-invasive (lubricated)
cavity search upon your immediate arrival. Failure to allow this
search results in instant termination of all Short Bus privileges and
there upon, you must surrender your helmet (we will keep it as both a
trophy and a warning to others)NUMBER 7. Uncontrolled snorting and drooling is a must.NUMBER 8. Thermos envy is a right. (size comparisons are allowed)NUMBER 9. All meds will be shared. (No hoarding)NUMBER 10. All riders must have an adequate supply of Depends on hand, we do have extras if needed.NUMBER 11. Seatbelts and chest straps must be fastened at all times, we will not risk another loss of a memeber (R.I.P. Bartholomeul...He now forever rides on that permanent Short Bus in the Sky)NUMBER 12. And of course, WHISKEY AND STIMULANTS FOR ALL!!!!!NUMBER 13. Refusal to wear a leash...which we supply and is REQUIRED which enables us to keep a handle on you at all times will result in immediate removal of all bus privleges...AND you will be FORCED to ride in the metalwire animal crate we have strapped to the rooftop...NUMBER 14. Costumes of all sort that are AT least 2 sizes too small and especially those involving hats such as firemen, batman, astronauts, and cowboy costumes etc, are always welcomed and sometimes required when we have our ever so famous themed field trips.NUMBER 15. These rules and regulations are subject to change at any time (ie. on
a whim) and may be added to or modified by the certified staff of the
Short Bus Crew.THE SHORT BUS FUEL...NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR NEW RIDERS. YOUR APPLICATION MUST INCLUDE AN 18 PACK AND A BOTTLE OF JACK :DTHE AWESOME ELDER ON OUR BUS...ONE OF THE LONGEST KNOWN MEMBERS LORRAINE!!!!!!...AND MY NUMBER 1 IDOL. LORRAINE!!!!!!
..Napolean is my lover...Timmay has my heart...we all ride the little yellow bus together...I'm the short bus slut...hey I can't help myself with all those hotties :D
My Lover
the owner of my heart
I let him share my bottle of jack with me...HERE IS MY PRIDE AND JOY AND MY LIFE!!! THIS IS MY LITTLE GIRL HANALEI NALU...
ME AND MY GORGEOUS BABE...Well I'm known for being EXTREMELY FREE-SPIRITED, ECCENTRIC, AND A FULL BLOWN WILD LEO!!! I party like a rockstar and wouldn't have it any other way. I think I must have been a Rockstar in another life!!! I smoke, I drink, I smash bottles, I go out, and I HAVE FUN!!! I don't take life too seriously because why should I? I have to live this life so why not make it as fun and exciting as possible and just fucking enjoy everything while I can. Don’t get me wrong though, I do have well built and very strongly constructed high morals, ethics, integrity, values, and a wonderful sense of responsibility...but I just feel like why worry about something or take things too seriously until you absolutely have to!! I'm usually ALWAYS with a bottle of JACK DANIEL'S in my purse. Hey you never know when you might need some warming up ;D I love seeing the suprised look on peoples faces when I pull this huge bottle out. The nickname is "J.D. Bangles" for my love of Jack Daniel's and I ALWAYS have an arm full of bangles(loads of silver braclets...they are my trademark, and I ain't ever letting any poser ass bitches steal that trademark from me) You will always be able to hear where I am, from the bangle bracelets moving and shaking. I'm a very animated person, and tell every story or anything with intense and loud arm movements and gestures, not to mention how loud I am. I'm well known for being waaay too loud but shit I don't give a fuck, at least I'm heard. I am who I am, I never lie, I tell ya straight up how it is, and I do not mold to anyone's thought and characterization of me. I stay true to myself, and how I was brought up NO MATTER what. When I say I'll do something I mean it and I do it, not one of those people that is flakey or wishy washy. I can't stand the people who are so indecisive, make up your mind and then fucking do, don't suggest something and then never get around to it!!! I LOVE to build things, and have loved to since I was a child, I tell people if women didn't get harrassed I would be a construction worker. In turn, I LOVE building and working on projects. I am an exhibitionist in the fact that I hate clothes, whenever I can I love to chill in just a bathingsuit, or my undies or nothing at all, but clothes make me feel uptight and too restricted. I like to do things myself. Instead of someone washing my car, I use that as a perfect opportunity for some exersize and I wash and detail it myself. I hate gettting manicures and pedicures and things of that sort, cuz WHY THE FUCK would I need someone to do it for me. It builds character to do your own things man. Why the fuck is everyone so damn lazy that they need someone to wash their feet for them, I mean COME ON. Plus, I think it keeps me more grounded doing things by myself rather than depending on someone to do it for me and it's added exersize. I'm always barefoot, being brought up on the beach I never wore shoes and I hate them. So whenever possible I go shoeless and sans clothing. My passion is art of all kinds...but my direct passion is photography and music. I'm currently trying to restore my grandfather's large format antique camera...and other vintage cameras I have collected. I plan to restore them and use them in my photography...using each one as a different style. I am currently finishing school(graduate May '07) at the Los Angeles Recording School where I learned how to be a recording/sound engineer with the goal to one day become the head of an A & R department(I want to bring back the REAL fucking talent!!! Music that will last and inspire everyone for generations to come as music from the the past has done for us. But the shit going on now...SUX!!! And can not possibly provide inspiration for future generations) And my goal is to do the live sound engineering for concerts. I sweeten my coffee with maple syrup because it keeps ur blood sugar levels steady for a longer period of time rather than making ur blood sugar spike and declide rapidly...so in turn gives me more stamina...plus I LOVE the taste. Try it...trust me u'll be hooked. I don't like restaurants because I think they are impersonal. The uptight, noisy, and crowded surroudings give me anxiety and only make me anxious to get out of there rather than enjoy the food or the person/people I'm with. If u want to bond with someone do something TOGETHER and make food TOGETHER at home in an intimate environment rather than in a loud and noisey restaurant where u have to shout from across a table to talk, what's so intimate about that. I like to wear BRIGHT red nailpolish when I feel sexy/passionate and dark burgundy/dark colors/or white nail polish when I feel artistic and contemplative. I have an intuitive way for knowing people's vices and problems without ever asking them or them telling me, but I never judge and I am the MOST open-minded pure hearted person so it doesn't matter how dark u are I will accept u and help u overcome any obstacles. I mean isn't that what friendship is about?? Seems like people don't have a true loyal value on what friendship consists of these days. Everyone just seems too wrapped up in themselves, that they brush u off or run away anytime u aren't what they had molded you to be in their mind. Or how about this...stop creating a picture of what you want that person to be and just enjoy the process of learning everything about ur friend and accept them...ACCEPT ALL OF THEM. Take the good and bad and help them overcome any bad that still plagues them, and benefit from the goodness in them. Because of my friendship beliefs and acceptance to all... I've become everyone's psychologist(which I absolutely love). I have an extreme temper. Combine the spanish(my dad is Cuban) screaming temper with the fire of my astrological chart(10 plants in fire) and u get me, but I don't show it much to people on a regular basis. When u question or insult my integrity, family/friends, my morals, or accuse me of lying(I grew up in a family where WE NEVER LIED...EVERYTHING WAS ON THE TABLE!!! So in turn we were forced to deal with the situations with no hidden darknesses and nothing that would creep up in the future that could mess with our psyche' or cause complexes and weird internal issues) but when those things are insulted/questioned/opposed to negatively/etc that's when I unleash the savaged beast raging lion, and watch it cuz I have a special way of finding the right words that will strike u in places u didn't know could affect u so roughly. I have VERY Few female friends. I CAN NOT stand the attitudes, cattiness, and jealousy girls have. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, why do you have to hate on someone because you are jealous of something they have or the way they look and are insecure with yourself. Just be nice man, ask her where she got her clothes, or compliment her rather than give her the evil eye and stare her up and down. If she has a bad ass body tell her and then ask her what she does and how you can get a body like that. What's with the evilness girls enlist upon eachother? We all have to share this world so why clog it with such hostility and rage? Better yet, be happy for what you have and what you've been given and be stoked for what other chicks have and have been given as well, and fucking let them be happy with it...THAT'S WHAT MAKES US FUCKING INDIVIDUALS!!! WHY DOES EVERY GIRL FEEL THE NEED TO LIVE UP TO A STANDARD OR WEAR A CERTAIN STYLE ETC TO BE CONSIDERED BEAUTIFUL AND TO FEEL PRETTY IN THIS SOCIETY!!! Be happy that we are different and STOP fucking being jealous and STOP objecting against diversity.!!! So because of those feelings I have, I tend to not get along with the girls that I just described. I like to have fun, and I DO NOT put up with girls like that, I wont waste my time with that pettiness...and I will definitely get in their face if they bluntly act that way towards me. So the majority of my friends are guys, but hey I can't complain haha. I have no problem keeping ur ego in check. I don't care who you are, what you do, how much money you have, if you are an ass to me and don't show me the proper respect I deserve then I have no problem bringing your ego down and showing you the EXACT disrespect you are showing me(which has gotten me in trouble numerous times with authority but fuck...I DON'T CARE WHO U ARE...WE ALL DESERVE RESPECT AND IF I FEEL I AM BEING DISREPECTED THEN I WILL SURELY DISRESPECT U BACK!!!) I must say I do have a tendency to be very self-concious from time to time as do many people, buuuuut I am the MASTER ACTRESS WHEN IT COMES TO HIDING IT!!!! You would never know that I lack confidence sometimes. I tend to have a special way to release the inhibitions from the inhibited people. I'm the most open-minded, open-hearted person I know. I accept everyone and everything and always give people the benefit of the doubt and hope for the best in them. I have no fear of myself as many people usually fear themselves the most, and I have no problem showing the world who I am, good and bad aspects of me. I put all on the table because if you are to know me and my personality then you need to know and accept ALL of me...that way I am able to benefit from my “TRUE†friends who are able to better myself in any of my flawed/weak personality traits etc!!! The one thing I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING IS people pegging me as a certain someone from my looks, fashion, etc...basically stereotyping me without knowing me fully or only taking in certain things about me to mold me as THEIR IDEAL PERSON rather than for who I truly am...I LOVE TO PROVE U WRONG AND SHOW U THAT I AM SOOOO DIFFERENT THAN HOW U PERCEIVED ME...and because of that I tend to do the unexpected and do the things many others would LOVE to do but are too afraid to go for, and one of my greatest aspects is being able to help people unleash their inner wild child and be a little less uptight and enjoy life a bit more like the way I do. BUT ONE THING EVERYONE ALWAYS KNOWS IS...I am the Queen lioness of the kingdom!!! And no one forgets it!!!! Plus, something EVERYONE MUST KNOW...no matter how well you know me or think you know me...I am ALWAYS revealing new aspects about myself, my life/experiences, and my personality/psyche' that you have never known before...even though I am one of the most open people in the world, I always am a mystery and am always bringing new tid bits about me to the table(keeps ya on ur toes)...so once again no matter how well you know me or how well you THINK you know me...you still don't know all of me YET and...I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL FOREVER BE AN ENIGMATIC LIONESS!!!!:DTHE NEIGHBORHOOD SIGN POSTED THAT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR KEEPING ME ALIVE...THOSE DAMN HUNTERS WERE ALWAYS AFTER MEMY OTHER NEIGHBORHOOD SIGN...POSTED RIGHT NEXT TO MY HOUSE TO WARN OUR NEIGHBORS THAT ME AND OTHER HANDICAPP KIDS ARE WOBBLING ACROSS THE STREET...AND ARE PRONED TO BURSTS OF OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR...FUCKING FUNNIEST SIGN I'VE EVER SEEN...LOOK AT THE HANDICAPP KID TRYING TO GET ON THE BUS. THEY HAVE THE LIL FUCKER ALL PIGEON TOE'D AND JUST ALLLL FUCKED UP HAHA...A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE SURGEON GENERALONE OF THE NEWER SETS OF PICS FROM THE SPECIAL ED KIDS IN ACTION FROM 11-29-05......THE SIGN THAT SAYS IT ALL...
OH MAN...I'M ABOUT AS SPECIAL AS IT GETS...GUESS SHE FEELS LIKE SHOUTING IT OUT TO THE WORLD EH?SHIT NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A HUUGE OL' WOODY...I FUCKING LOVE IT...GOTTA LOVE THOSE CLUELESS FOREIGNERS WHEN THEY CHOOSE A NAME FOR THEIR RESTARAUNTS...NEEDLESS TO SAY IT IS ALWAYS A ONE WAY DEAL IN THIS SITUATION...HMMM DELIVERY VEHICLES...SO THAT'S WHAT POOP IS CALLED THESE DAYS...AS QUEEN ONCE SANG "BIIIIICCCYCLE!!!! BIIIICCCYCLE!!! I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE...I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE..."AS LONG AS YOU PAY LATER YOU CAN RIDE IT NOW BABY...
YYIIPPPEEEE.......CUSTOMERS...WEEEOOOO...WELL...I FINALLY GOT MY HANDICAP PARKING THAT I DESERVE...THE GOVERNMENT WONT LET ME BEHIND A WHEEL :( SO I GET AROUND WITH MY TRUSTY OL' BASKET...HEY $24.95 BOYS, CAN'T BEAT THAT...FOR THAT PRICE U CAN GET SOME QUALITY WORK HERE...THIS IS A WENDY'S SIGN THAT JUST SAID "WENDY'S IN --" SO TAKE OUT WENDY'S AND YOU CAN HAVE A WHOOLEE LOTTTAA FUN WRITING OTHER THINGS IN THERE...YOU KNOW THE WAY IN SO...CAREFUL WHEN DIVING...SLIPPERY WHEN WET!!HEY NOW...HERE IS REAL AUTHENTIC SAN DIEGO "CARPET" OVER THIS WAY TO THE RIGHT...QUICK AND EASY...CAN'T BEAT THATENTRANCE THIS WAY-- FOR THOSE WHO ARE CARPET LOVERS ;DCUM IN TO THE MUFF HEADQUARTERS...WHERE EVERY CUSTOMER LEAVES SATISFIED...SHORT BUS FIELD TRIP...1-18-06CAUTION...FLAMMABLE GASES LOCATED IN REAR...ANYONE THIRSTY FOR MILK?? WHO KNOWS HOW TO MILK THESE THINGS?FOR THOSE TIMES THAT MAY BE A BIT TOO ROUGH AND LEAVE YOU NEEDING RE-ALIGNMENT...HOOOOHOOOOO...WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, FAT KID AT HEART FOUND HER PLACE OF WORSHIP...PPPOOOOOOOOOOOO...AAAAAH...ONE OF LIFE'S GREATEST PLEASURES!!!PPSSHHH...WELL DUH!!A FEW PICS FROM THE SHORT BUS FRIELD TRIP TO THE SUPERCROSS IN ANAHEIM...YES WE ACTUALLY WENT LIKE THAT
BRINGING NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE "I DRANK MYSELF RETARD!!"A SHORT BUS STAPLE...ROLLING SHORT BUS STYLE DARLING...TAILGATIN' AT THE SUPERCROSS...CREATING OUR OWN SPECIAL OLYMPIC EVENTS...FOUND THIS WHILE BROWSING THE CHANNELS...SOME GUY MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY FUCKED UP TO NAME HIS MOVIE "JOHNNY SKIDMARKS" HAHA...FUCK I WANT TO MEET THIS GUY...HE'S AWESOME!!2-21-06...FOUND THIS IN THE FRESNO AREA. NOT ONLY IS IT FUCKING FUNNY FOR THE OBVIOUS REASON BUT WHO EVER MADE THE SIGN DIDN'T EVEN USE THE CORRECT FUCKING ENGLISH...USUALLY THE SIGNS SAYS SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY BUUUUUT NO, NOT THESE DIPSHITS..."CHILDREN SLOW" HAHA RETARDS!!!!!!I DIDN'T SET THIS PICTURE UP...I FOUND IT ON THE NET. BUT I FIND IT DAMN FUNNY AND PRETTY FUCKING CLEVER!!!NEWEST SET 4-20-06
I’M KIND OF A BIG DEAL...I SEEM TO GET RECOGNITION WHEREVER I GO...DRIVE THROUGH…IF YOU WANT TO TASTE MY SWEET SUCCULENT KREMEERECTING STRONG, WELL BUILT “STRUCTURES†AT COX CONSTRUCTION COMPANYONLY THE SHORT BUS PRESIDENT IS COOL ENOUGH TO ROCK JACK DANIEL'S OR BUDWEISER IN THE SIPPYCUP AND LOOK BAD ASS...EVERYTHING IS BETTER FROM A SIPPY CUP WITH A PICTURE OF A SHORT BUS ON IT!!!DOWN SYNDROME IN IT'S FINEST ELEMENT...CIRCA 1999
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