Juliette profile picture

Juliette

Take it and like it!

About Me

All right already, I give... I'm sucking it up and finally creating a MySpace profile.

I'm a writer, chef, and former not-quite-groupie and this is the place where I'll regurgitate all my related neuroses. (Ten years of working in the music industry and even more as a writer in general will make any chick just slightly outta whack.) If you're so inclined, you can read my professional bio and published writings at http://www.juliettemiranda.com/

Really, the whole point of this soul-selling move is to share my writing. It would be nice if I could pull off the tortured writer role and claim indifference, but the truth is, I want to be read. So enjoy, or not. Just read.

A quick guide to my blog: If you're looking for a sampling of my horror/fiction work, read the "Clarissa" and "A Tease" entries. The other entries are narrative nonfiction, also known as random bits of self indulgent story telling.

adopt your own virtual pet!

My Interests

Music, food, writing, reading, yoga, hiking, kickboxing, pilates, horror movies.

I'd like to meet:

Better yet, who I do NOT want to meet (so save yourself the trouble): anyone with religious or bible quotes in their headline or blog titles (unless you're being sarcastic and/or ironic), guys who deliberately populate their top friends with attractive women, "model" photographers, promoters of pyramid schemes masked as "business" deals, anyone who cannot or does not read, people that hate books (and that includes fans of The DaVinci Code), fans of Rachel Ray, bands that only want leave poorly-written plugs for their next show on my comments forum, HTML abusers, and anyone that believes my adding them as a "friend" will instantly make us best buddies and entitle them to undivided attention and BFF-like emails. Fair warining people: I am reasonably misanthropic and not always nice.

Music:

Bon Jovi, Great White, Enuff Z Nuff, Van Morrison, Ryan Adams, Mike Nesmith, Alejandro Escoveda, Billy Pilgrim, Poison, Danger Danger, Black Crowes, The Cult, Paul Westerberg, Elvis Costello, Fastball, Huey Lewis & The News, Grant Lee Buffalo, CCR, My Morning Jacket, Shakira, Three Dog Night, Tom Petty, Rob Zombie, Winger, Ted Nugent

Movies:

The Descent, Halloween, The Omen, House of 1,000 Corpses, Hostel 1 & 2, Freaks, The Incredible Torture Show, Almost Famous, Quills, Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Living Dead, Sirens, Very Bad Things, Wizard of Gore, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Wicker Man, The Baby, Demon Seed

Books:

Authors: Augusten Burroughs, Davis Sedaris, Ayn Rand, Charles Bukowski, Tamara Thorne, Stephen King, Richard Laymon, Christopher Moore

Heroes:


You Are a Lemon Cake
Strong, sexy, and overpowering.
You know who you are, and you're not afraid to show the world your fabulous self.
You're confident, charming, and extremely popular. What Kind of Cake Are You?

You Are Whiskey
You're a tough drinker, and you take it like a man
That means no girly drinks for you - even if you are a girl
You prefer a cold, hard drink at the end of the day
Every day, in fact. And make that a few. What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

My Blog

Clarissa - part 2

(NOTE: This is the next installment of my "Clarissa" series. If you'd like to read the first, it's posted in my archives. FAIR WARNING, this post is graphic, likely disturbing to sensitive readers, an...
Posted by Juliette on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 06:14:00 PST

I’ll look you in the eye

Sadly, you can only say phrases like, "I'm going to be okay," so many times before they lose all meaning. "Okay" is such a subjective word anyway  and when "okay" for me is forcing myself out of bed,...
Posted by Juliette on Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:51:00 PST

Auto repair for monkeys

Me being a girl and all, I'm typically bewildered by most things mechanical. I take it for granted that things like my toaster, microwave, and ipod all have the proper "stuff" to make them function, ...
Posted by Juliette on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 09:27:00 PST

There’s only one way to handle it

The fact that I just involved myself in an online message board smackdown over why Rob Zombie is an outstanding director (even with his flawed remake of Halloween) leads me to believe I should probabl...
Posted by Juliette on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:37:00 PST

An open letter to John Mackey, CEO Whole Foods

(Fair Warning: Normally I keep my socio-political-business leanings to myself. But since I am so thoroughly annoyed with the revelations about John Mackey and his uncontrollable lust for message board...
Posted by Juliette on Sat, 28 Jul 2007 09:12:00 PST

Something to talk about

My misanthropy seems to be reaching new highs (or would that be lows?) these days. Even my guy has noticed it, although I doubt he likes to actually consider me a misanthrope. Which is how I prefer it...
Posted by Juliette on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:33:00 PST

A furry attraction

My guy looks at other women.I knew this of course, hell, I look at women, too, but this was the first time he'd actually been specific about it. My guy revealed this bit of information randomly the ot...
Posted by Juliette on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:53:00 PST

The spider spins its web for the unwary fly

Why is it that people continue to exist after I discard them? Barring their spontaneous combustion upon my saying, "So long, jackass," couldn't these individuals at least be vanquished to some alterna...
Posted by Juliette on Thu, 10 May 2007 03:37:00 PST

The opposite of me

There are some mornings when it feels as though the best way to start my day would be to drive my car smack into a tree. I really can't see how it would make much of a difference  considering I'm doi...
Posted by Juliette on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 03:23:00 PST

The scent of comedy and error

Ever since what has become known as "The Panty Incident" an inadvertent display of my idiocy via skull and guitar-adorned panties my guy has fancied himself a comedian. Apparently, my general existe...
Posted by Juliette on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 04:05:00 PST