Blackbolt Johnson - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am easily the greatest thing that has ever happened to the planet Earth. The best looking, best smelling, funniest, sexiest, strongest guy who has ever lived ever. Seriously, I kick so much ass you wouldn't even believe it. Like yesterday - I kicked 8 asses before lunch!! (I lost count of the total number of asses kicked for the day, but I assure you it was tons of ass)And another thing: I rock really hard. In fact, I rock so hard you wouldn't even believe it. Like yesterday - I rocked so effing hard, that a couple buildings fell over and some people did too!! (no one even bothered to call the cops or nuthin', cuz they all know I'm unstoppable anyways)Me = Human God

I got my layout from

Free Image Hosting for Myspace

My Interests

kicking ass, rocking really hard, cannibalism, seedless grapes, italian suits, silent velcro, bullet-proof materials (for my costumes and stuff), dead people and boobies

I'd like to meet:

Like minded individuals who have similar interests such as: felching, knitting, hackey-sack, ballet, pottery, snuff films, animal torture and cheesecake.

Music:

Barry "God Damn Hottie" Manilowe, The East Coast League of Alpha Justice Teamforce Men (my superhero team, duh?), The Partridge Family, Gwar

Movies:

'The East Coast League of Alpha Justice Teamforce Men', 'The East Coast League of Alpha Justice Teamforce Men: In thru the Out-door', 'The East Coast League of Alpha Justice Teamforce Men: Still Unstoppable', 'The East Coast League of Alpha Justice Teamforce Men vs. The Horse-faced Ladies', 'The East Coast League of Alpha Justice Teamforce Men Will Eat Your Virgin Daughters', The New Adventures of Lassie and other movies where people get killed and eaten.

Television:

TV is for apes and assorted lesser primates. However 'Queer Eye for the Superhero Guy' is featuring our team next month. I guess I'll TIVO that and watch it after I KICK YOUR ASS!!!

Books:

I can't read. [Note: these words were placed here mentally; I told you I'm unstoppable!!]

Heroes:

Me, Allah and Santy Claws. Period.

My Blog

Santy Claws

So I've been to a few shopping-mall-santas this year and I gotta say, I'm overall dissatisfied with this year's crop. Not a single one had that little hole cut into the crotch of their sui...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Fri, 02 Dec 2005 11:17:00 PST

Environmental Problems: SOLVED!!

So you know all these problems we're having with fuckin' fossil fuels and shit? Yeah, it pretty much blows. Well the other day while I was on my A.P.T.C.U.*, I thought of a solut...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I Rack

Just let me tell you something: Iraq fuckin' sucks. I was there last week and holy shit that place is a shit hole. There's all these holes in the ground everywhere. C...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Come Original

If you've never heard of, or seen the website www.thephatphree.com, you're a fuckin asshole. Go read every piece of trash on there and don't come back here until you do. One more thing, your girl'...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Man versus Beast

Really, I don't see why having sex with animals is so bad. Is it because the bible says so? That's a stupid movie anyway. How can people take it so seriously with all of those gratuitous dance numb...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

PJP 2

I think we can all agree that being molested by a priest when you're a kid would be cool, right? Well what if it's the king of all priests, the Supreme Pontiff himself? Because that's what happened to...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Wolf

Last night I graced an NBA game with my superior presence. The game was in DC. I was surprised to see that Wolf Blitzer also attended the game. Undoubtedly he was there to report on my whereabouts ...
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Day 1

This is the very first post to my unstoppable blog. You can't stop this blog. Neither can you, or you, or even him. None of you can. So Fuck all y'all. Ok thanks bye.
Posted by Blackbolt Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST