Header Banner Made with MyBannerMaker.com! Click here to make your own!For almost 3 years I was psychologically strung out on weed and highly dependant on drugs like crack, cocaine, and meth and I thought I was just having my fun this way...and that's how it started. The end, however, was disappointing, and devastating. One of the reasons I was attracted to this drug was to fit in a culture where it was (and still is) almost the norm to be hip. Personally, there was nothing of value worth to stop doing it or stay clean for...except looking forward to my next high. Being caught up in that dependency disconnected me from reality: I didn't care that I was destroying God's very creation and that I wasn't that cool, thinking I can-hang-with-the-gang girl. Crack, and crystal meth are the most popular drugs as you read this, it has no respect of person: poor, middle or high class, professionals, college/university students, any age, any race, any background, and it is one highly addictive if not the most. In a matter of months I found myself doing things I would have never thought I would do, I wasn't the same person. My personality had changed; i had none. You know that natural desire to not want to die and actually just live...I didn't know what that felt that. I believed the Meth-Lie = that I was a better person on it (was all about the feeling better rush), thought better, functioned better, was more creative, had more energy, . After a while though I became physically addicted, and had to get high JUST to feel better from the withdrawals: felt depressed and extremely exhausted. Soon I was psychologically impacted didn't realize I could go days without eating or sleeping, having repetitive behaviors. Started to be paranoid, anxious and went through meth psychosis which was hallucinations of people hiding behind furniture to get me when I turned around, terrorists knocking on my door with a gun plotting to kill me, heard voices as vivid as it gets, would see black shadows everywhere, and something that was really taking me "up there" was the sound of dragging chains...it was such a torture. I had no peace not even being in a room full of people I felt like a serial killer was looking for me to do horrible things to me like kill me slowly by cutting my fingers and ears and pulling my nails.... It the neighbor was making noises my mind would say he was killing his wife and if he went out to take out the trash meant the wife's body was in that trash can and I was going to be next. Not anything though like a physical torture, my soul was being tortured... I would describe it as a taste of hell. By now I was living expecting nothing out of life... and one early september morning in 2004 after a night of clubbing I woke up in a bench at 6 am in a town 30 min away from where I had been the night before not having any idea how I got there or where I was or how to get home... I needed help bad. I was in a place where most people would not have dared reach down to help... but it was there in that dirty and shameful place that God looked upon me and reached out His arm of Mercy... see God is a Savior... He came to save me at just the right time: Rom 5:6 "...at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly" when there wasn't any power in me to help myself, I couldn't even have helped myself... when I deserved it Him the least that's when He came. Have you ever been in a place where you understand how undeserving we are before God... unworthy of Him dieing for us. undeserving of God providing forgiveness of sins and abundant life through Christ. Undeserving of having a hope in Him through His blood shed, after that it was my and your personal sins that put Him and nailed Him to a cross where He hung for 6 hours and said: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"... enduring also the rejection of the Father for that's how His wrath could only be satisfied. Christ took the punishment of the Father turning His back on us on that day where we will all give account. He has done it. But will you take the time to understand why you should be rejected by God in a biblical and personal way? I really hope that as you read this (and although you may think "well that's her, she wasn't careful, or smart enough") you can realize that this destructive behavior comes from the same desperately wicked heart that does not know or abide in Christ) and so even if you never did or are doing this outwardly this is just a reflection of the attitude of our hearts...I'll tell you how, that you can reject Christ and chose to take pleasure and stay in your sins (it is just as deadly and dangerous as doing meth), or in a lukewarm state where your sole purpose for living is not to know Christ, to dive into the most amazing event ever in the history of mankind and letting it impact you...letting Christ turn your world up in the same way that you have accepted to be impacted by this worlds lies. Who will you let impact your world?
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