The Poor Children of Africa Heres me performing for them.Some nasty people (who are just jealous and mean!!) say that I shouldn't have my shiny new African baby because I didn't go through the legal channels... I got news for you fuckers... THERE IS NO ADOPTION LAW IN MALAWI which is why my job was even easier (Ha!)! Here's what I think of you and your "concern for David's welfare in being removed from his people and culture"... It is because of ignorant people like this that African babies like my new one are made to live in mud huts. Don't let them stop me having my new baby and don't let them discourage you from doing the same as me. Africa is riddled with Aids, poverty, war, famine and disease. The best thing we Western folk can do is take all those babies away and have them come live in our shiny houses in our shiny towns in our shiny cities in our shiny countries. The rest of Africa and the solution to her problems can just fuck off... (oh yeah, and only pick the prettiest ones).
Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Oprah and the Buddha - we all have a lot in common
My own music (go to www.madonna_i_cant_sing_but_i_make_a_good_jesus.com for more information). Here's another picture from when I performed on Live8 with my rent-an-African-friend-for-the-day (a real African as seen in Africa and other interesting-but-who-gives-a-real-shit-really places!)
My own movies (go to www.madonna_i_cant_act_unless_its_on_oprah.com for more information)
Television is against my religion but look what a great job I did on Oprah!! (TAKE AWAY AFRICA'S BABIES!! YEAH!! THEY DON'T NEED 'EM! BABIES FOR EVERYONE!! AND DON'T BE DISCOURAGED BY THE BAD OLD MEDIA... even though - if you think about it, no-one will stop you because you're not me.. MADONNA... QUEEN OF THE WORLD AND EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE MESSIAH!! The key here, people, is don't think too much about what I'm saying BUT JUST LOOK AT MY SHINY HAIR AND MY SHINY AFRICAN BABY!!) .. Here's me on British Telly! Check out the weird room I'm sitting in... "I'm not in control... I'm detail-orientated and I like to have things my way... BUT I'M NOT A CONTROL FREAK!! OKAY!?! FUCKERS!! (and yeah, I've never been to Africa before. I don't know anything about the culture, the language, the history, the people, nothing. So what?)" ..
I don't read (unless it's one of my weird-mysticism-shit-masquerading-as-a-children's-book books). Talking of children... here are mine (two legitimate, one foregone I-cooked-the-books conclusion). Aren't they sweet? One for me, one for him and one for my fans. Oh and here's another family pic. The hired help bringing me back my shiny new baby all the way from Africa!!! (I had yoga that day). I even get free bodyguards courtesy of the British Taxpayer! Oh yeah. I guess I should include this guy. The baby's biological goat-herd. Just look at that evil, media-manipulating/ignorant face...Now isn't this a prettier picture? The Kindly WASP Father and His Shiny African Baby... Isn't it a good thing that we saved him from that ne'er-do-well useless father of his and gave him a proper home? The world definitely needs more caring, sharing, rich types like me.
Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Oprah and the Buddha.But most of all I think I, myself, am a hero, for all the great work I do for my children in Africa. "Hello little girl. Do you want to come live with me in my shiny life?"... "HELL, NOOOO!... SOMEONE HELP!!!" "Hello little boy. Do you want to come live with me in my shiny life?"... "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY EAR?!" Yeah. They love me. Just look at the gratitude all over their shiny little faces. (Hey, did you photographer guys get that or do you want to take it over?)