Stop Madonna of Africa profile picture

Stop Madonna of Africa

This is NOT an anti-Madonna page. It is a SATIRICAL commentary on ignorant celebrity adoptions and a

About Me

Hi! I'm a mom of two and I want to help all the children of Africa. I've spent years being a major, global star and if you, my fans, have found this space, then you'll know that God (who made me his vessel in music) wants me to be his vessel too for the children of Africa. Those poor little children. Poor little Africans. My heart breaks for them. In helping the children of Africa I have recently built a special religious orphanage in the wilds of Malawi. The total cost of the orphanage works out to just under $1.25 per child over it's lifetime (being a humanitarian is such a bargain these days!). The children of this orphanage will be instructed in my religion in return for their food and shelter (just like those first missionaries that came to Africa! I sure know my history!). They will come to understand, just like me, (and whether they like it or not) the importance of working hard for what you believe in... and especially if they want their daily bread. I was also, as an act of thanks on behalf of the government of Malawi given a little African boy for me to keep (the rumours that I offered bribes for him are entirely false! Don't believe what you read in the press.... unless it's by my publicity people). I had to work real hard to pick him out out of twelve other boys via video link (that was hard work I can tell you... phew! those little African baby faces are soooo cute!). I will be coming back from time to time to fill you, my fans, in on his progress. Make sure you keep this myspace a secret between just you, my fans, and me. Much love, Madonna (of Africa) MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

The Poor Children of Africa Heres me performing for them.Some nasty people (who are just jealous and mean!!) say that I shouldn't have my shiny new African baby because I didn't go through the legal channels... I got news for you fuckers... THERE IS NO ADOPTION LAW IN MALAWI which is why my job was even easier (Ha!)! Here's what I think of you and your "concern for David's welfare in being removed from his people and culture"... It is because of ignorant people like this that African babies like my new one are made to live in mud huts. Don't let them stop me having my new baby and don't let them discourage you from doing the same as me. Africa is riddled with Aids, poverty, war, famine and disease. The best thing we Western folk can do is take all those babies away and have them come live in our shiny houses in our shiny towns in our shiny cities in our shiny countries. The rest of Africa and the solution to her problems can just fuck off... (oh yeah, and only pick the prettiest ones).

I'd like to meet:

Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Oprah and the Buddha - we all have a lot in common

Music:

My own music (go to www.madonna_i_cant_sing_but_i_make_a_good_jesus.com for more information). Here's another picture from when I performed on Live8 with my rent-an-African-friend-for-the-day (a real African as seen in Africa and other interesting-but-who-gives-a-real-shit-really places!)

Movies:

My own movies (go to www.madonna_i_cant_act_unless_its_on_oprah.com for more information)

Television:

Television is against my religion but look what a great job I did on Oprah!! (TAKE AWAY AFRICA'S BABIES!! YEAH!! THEY DON'T NEED 'EM! BABIES FOR EVERYONE!! AND DON'T BE DISCOURAGED BY THE BAD OLD MEDIA... even though - if you think about it, no-one will stop you because you're not me.. MADONNA... QUEEN OF THE WORLD AND EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE MESSIAH!! The key here, people, is don't think too much about what I'm saying BUT JUST LOOK AT MY SHINY HAIR AND MY SHINY AFRICAN BABY!!) .. Here's me on British Telly! Check out the weird room I'm sitting in... "I'm not in control... I'm detail-orientated and I like to have things my way... BUT I'M NOT A CONTROL FREAK!! OKAY!?! FUCKERS!! (and yeah, I've never been to Africa before. I don't know anything about the culture, the language, the history, the people, nothing. So what?)" ..

Books:

I don't read (unless it's one of my weird-mysticism-shit-masquerading-as-a-children's-book books). Talking of children... here are mine (two legitimate, one foregone I-cooked-the-books conclusion). Aren't they sweet? One for me, one for him and one for my fans. Oh and here's another family pic. The hired help bringing me back my shiny new baby all the way from Africa!!! (I had yoga that day). I even get free bodyguards courtesy of the British Taxpayer! Oh yeah. I guess I should include this guy. The baby's biological goat-herd. Just look at that evil, media-manipulating/ignorant face...Now isn't this a prettier picture? The Kindly WASP Father and His Shiny African Baby... Isn't it a good thing that we saved him from that ne'er-do-well useless father of his and gave him a proper home? The world definitely needs more caring, sharing, rich types like me.

Heroes:

Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Oprah and the Buddha.But most of all I think I, myself, am a hero, for all the great work I do for my children in Africa. "Hello little girl. Do you want to come live with me in my shiny life?"... "HELL, NOOOO!... SOMEONE HELP!!!" "Hello little boy. Do you want to come live with me in my shiny life?"... "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY EAR?!" Yeah. They love me. Just look at the gratitude all over their shiny little faces. (Hey, did you photographer guys get that or do you want to take it over?)

My Blog

Mothers: The Difference Between The West and Africa

This is an excellent article from the Guardian. It concerns the differences in pre- and post-natal care mothers in Europe can expect versus that of their African counterparts and the lengths African m...
Posted by Stop Madonna of Africa on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 04:06:00 PST

More Mail From Madonna's Admirers

I've had some interesting mail today. I should imagine a bulletin has been sent out amongst Madonna's fans advising them of this page and so naturally some have been in touch. I have responded to one...
Posted by Stop Madonna of Africa on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 06:02:00 PST

A Note From One of Madonna's Admirers

YOU ARE DELETED YOU FUCKR..MADONNA GAVE LIFE TO THAT LITTLE BOY.MORE THAN YOU COULD DO FOR SOMEONE IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE!! "Aww. Look what I get from Madonna's fans who request adds. Not that I should ...
Posted by Stop Madonna of Africa on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 06:55:00 PST

I'm A Great Mom!! - The Officials I Didn't Bribe Say So!!

YEAH BANDA!! YOU AIN'T GETTING SHIT BACK, YOU GOAT HERDER!!!   So you see, my beloved fans, I am a great mommy. And let this be a lesson to you all: every African has a price.... MALAWI'S governm...
Posted by Stop Madonna of Africa on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 05:06:00 PST

MOTHERFUCKER!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!!! You just can't do anything these days without some cunt reporter finding out your business!! I paid some African to come study in the UK in exchange for his approval for my adoption o...
Posted by Stop Madonna of Africa on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 04:41:00 PST

I Love Oprah!!

I love Oprah so much!. I was so upset when my plan to keep my lovely shiny little African baby nearly went tits up when his father turned up out of the blue to say he didn't understand the papers (cle...
Posted by Stop Madonna of Africa on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 05:40:00 PST