1) I like talking about myself. This is because I am so incredibly interesting and not at all one dimensional. OK, in all honesty I am not even certain if I have one dimension, but I am ok with that.
2) I have almost no sense of smell. I share this fact with everyone. I do not know why this comes up in conversation so often, but it does. I suspect it is for reasons set forth in 1 above.
3) I am the sort of person that would use the phrase "set forth." I blame my education.
4) I have been known to be disagreeable for no reason other than that I can be. This has lead some persons to never speak to me again. Apparently some persons don't see the tenuous logic of statements like "technically, we could cure world hunger using weapons of mass destruction." They also obviously do not see the not so tenuous humor in said statement.
5) My new years resolution was to avoid any and all political arguments. See 4.
6) I have rarely met persons from the U.K. I did not like. This likely has more to do with their use of phrases like "trounce," "pull," and "Nigel" than anything else.
7) I try really hard NOT to use any of the phrases in 6. This is because I am not British. Phrases like "mate" do not sound right coming from Americans. The exception to this is the word "cheers," which I abuse ad nauseum. I blame this on working with an Aussie and a Brit. Bloody royalists.
8) I have been called "arrogant," "cynical," "bourgeois," "evil," and, on occasion, "nice." All these labels were warranted - except possibly the one about being nice.
9) I have called persons "papist," "pinko," and, on one occasion, a "sick tree-hugging midget." None of these were appropriate or relevant, even at the time they were said.
10) I am a dangerious criminal. It is official. I was caught "occupying more than one seat on the Q train" at 1:10 AM. I have the ticket to prove it. I make no apology for my miscreant acts.
11) I frequently say things that make no sense, are entirely irrelevant, or are just completely inappropriate. I sometimes follow them up with a clarification about how this is not at all true. See 10, supra. I consider this a valid rhetorical device.
12) I have been known to use phrases taken from other, usually dead, languages. This may be why i was called "arrogant."
13) I use inflections that can only be represented in written from by italics in order to "play-down" things. I consider this to be a legitimate rhetorical device as well.
14) I make an effort, frequently failing, to make the distinction in my writing between "persons" and "people," despite the distinction having died long ago. I frequently fail at this and generally make no effort do distinguish the two in verbal convesation. This is definetly one of the reasons I have been called "arrogant."
15) I tend to be long winded when I am writing things. I think I will shut up now.
