Jake Team profile picture

Jake Team

Zombie Threat Control seeking professional Fluffer.

About Me

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I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul. There is no species of fauna in the world which I have not personally killed and skinned. I will never sire a child because I loathe women. I bathe only once a year in an icy pond. I have burnt down one church per month for the last thirty years, and I will never be brought to justice because all lawmen fear me.

My Interests

Sending Zombies back to Hell.

Music:

All Types.

Movies:

There have been no real films since before my time.

Television:

There are no longer any stations broadcasting.

Books:

All Types.

Heroes:

They are all dead.

My Blog

France bans citizen journalists from reporting violence

As a "citizen journalist," I've taken the liberty of highlighting the parts that should scare you. Welcome to the police state, slaves.France bans citizen journalists from reporting violenceBy Peter S...
Posted by Jake Team on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 02:15:00 PST

sometimes you just can't wait.

Feb. 18, 2007. www.breitbart.comLove in the fast laneIsraeli police investigating why a car was blocking traffic on one of the country's main trunk roads found a couple inside having sex. ...
Posted by Jake Team on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 05:04:00 PST

A moving essay.

This Holocaust will be differentBy Benny Morris, The Jerusalem Post The second holocaust will not be like the first. The Nazis, of course, industrialized mass murder. But still, the perpetrators had ...
Posted by Jake Team on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 01:13:00 PST

MySpace suits get sued

The Los Angeles TimesJanuary 20, 2007 -->[if !supportEmptyParas]--> WHEN NEWS CORP. acquired MySpace.com for $580 million in 2005, it picked up a fast-growing business with enormous potential for ...
Posted by Jake Team on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 05:16:00 PST

Who is reading this crap?

After an alleged 28 views within half an hour of posting that last one, I can't help but wonder who actually bothers to look at this. ... Maybe it's Big Brother...Anyways, if you can be bothered to st...
Posted by Jake Team on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 08:10:00 PST

Worst ex-prez ever?

The invaluable Middle East Media Research Institute TV Monitor Project (memritv.org) has a segment of video on their website of former US President Jimmy Carter's interview on Al-Jazeera TV last Sunda...
Posted by Jake Team on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 01:00:00 PST

"He does not like it here at all."

9-year-old runaway flies from Seattle to San Antonio via PhoenixThe Associated Press --> --> LAKEWOOD, Wash.  A 9-year-old boy who didn't like his suburban Tacoma home stole a car, got caught, th...
Posted by Jake Team on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 01:45:00 PST

Hallucinogenic Weapons: The Other Chemical Warfare

.. title="Digg This - Wordpress Plugin" href="http://www.aviransplace.com/digg-this-wordpress-plugin /" rel=plugin>Hallucinogenic Weapons: The Other Chemical WarfareBy RU SiriusJanuary 10th, 2007 ...
Posted by Jake Team on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:34:00 PST

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

The Godfather is dead, and his followers are in mourning. I am forever grateful for his tireless efforts to share the soul. The funk lives on, Mr. Brown. The funk lives on. Now everybody get up, get o...
Posted by Jake Team on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 04:13:00 PST

Iraq Study Group: It's Israel's fault.

*cough*cough* You guessed it: My own thoughts on this senseless drivel to follow at a later date. *cough* You want my first reaction? *cough*horseshit*cough* Land for Peace??? WaitWaitWait... did I mi...
Posted by Jake Team on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 12:15:00 PST