Beer profile picture

Beer

Dont let the bartender cut you off!!!

About Me

LETS DRINK TIL WE CANT FEEL FEELINGS ANYMORE! So a liittle history about me... Between 10,000 and 15,000 years ago, some humans discontinued their nomadic hunting and gathering and settled down to farm. They needed to relieve some stress. Early civilizations found the mood-altering properties of me supernatural, and intoxication was considered divine. I was thought to contain a spirit or god, since drinking me possessed the spirit of the drinker. The ancient Germans regarded me not only a sacrifice to the gods but they, as in Egypt, also brewed me for their own enjoyment and it made woman take off their tops and men dance like idiots. Brewing of me played an important role in daily lives. I was clearly so desired that it led nomadic groups into village life... cuz who the fuck can roam around when theyre trashed out of their minds? I was considered a valuable necessity and workers were often paid with jugs of me. In 1964 metal kegs were introduced in Germany.... keg is now one of my bestest buddies which made cleaning and filling much simpler and parties much more eventful.VIDEO BY A GOOD FRIEND NAMED ANDY! check it out.

My Interests

Mug collecting, "chillin" at the bar, helpin ugly people get laid, washing away worries, fermenting, getting people to act really stupid, but im beer and i will try anything once, twice if i like it!

BEER POLL... WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BRAND?

(disclaimer: if you prefer a light beer, ice, honey brown, etc. just vote for the brand. If your favorite is not on the list click other and stop whining.)

I'd like to meet:

EVERYBODY AND ANYBODY!!! Anyone who likes to party! and party hard! and those who dont like to party but like to just wash away their worries of everyday shitty life! please dont kill yourself you got me! ive met a lot of people in my life... youd be surprised who drinks me!! ive been in madonnas mouth on many occasions and ive also been in... wait nevermind... nobody needs to know about that night. I am still waiting to meet the pope... he hasnt been answering my calls and the restraining order was just lifted so maybe someday day we can end things on good terms with a nice cold me. I just met Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. they really are fun! infact i ran into my good friend coke at one of their parties... hes doin real good now. kinda chalky though. and im sure ive met you already!

Music:

Yeah i like music... its loud and usually part of parties... so its cool!

Movies:

Beer Fest, Cocktail, Blazing Saddles, Animal House, Van Wilder, Half Baked, anything with John Wayne or Bette Midler or both, Billy Madison(i know the keg in that movie personally!), Joes Apartment, North pole 9, anything with Jenna Jameson, Heavy Metal, Breakfast club, 16 candles, gone with the wind, Fast times at Ridgemont High, Sleepless in Seattle, Titanic, Short Circuit, Short Circuit 2, Gremlins, Gremlins 2, How to make Beer volumes 1 through 4 and 6 through 102. 5 was a blantant lie... HOGWASH!! you cant blow smoke up my ass you fucks at Disney dont know how to make a movie for your life you mickey mouse lovin bastards!

Television:

Cops, Family Guy, Simpsons, Days of our lives, All My Children, Jerry Springer, The Man Show, Jackass, anything on the history channel(i get to see a lot of old friends of mine), all sports, TNN, world series of poker, spice channel(even though its all blurry) The O'Reilly Factor(thats a nice irish name!), monster truck rallies, E true hollywood stories, Wild On E.

Books:

Im very Illiterate from all the alcohol and partying ive done... my vision is very blurry if you will!? i got past the first 2 pages in charlottes web and couldnt take it! it scarred me for life!

Heroes:

All the great bartenders of america, Delivery Men, Sales Clerks, Guys who buy teens liquor, College Kids, Aldolphius Busch, Pawtucket Patriot, Homer J. Simpson, Jesus, Samuel Adams, Jack Daniels, Bob Dylan, Woodie Guthrie, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, George Thorogood, Kim Bassinger, the Irish, Larry Flynt, Jimmy Beam, Johnnie Walker, Maverick and Goose, Barley Farmers across america, Batman, the dude that invented bar stools, superman, the Romans, the Greeks, the Germans, spring breakers, rednecks and nascar fans, football fans, the U.S. armed forces(they drink a lot of me), i love you guys!

My Blog

Widget info...

From a good friend....   I LOOKKED UP WIDGET IN WIKIPEDIA.ORG AND THIS IS WHAT IT TOLD.,... The "floating widget" found in cans of beer is a hollow sphere, 3 cm in diameter. The can is pressurise...
Posted by Beer on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 11:11:00 PST

Widget info...

From a good friend....   I LOOKKED UP WIDGET IN WIKIPEDIA.ORG AND THIS IS WHAT IT TOLD.,... The "floating widget" found in cans of beer is a hollow sphere, 3 cm in diameter. The can is pressurise...
Posted by Beer on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 11:12:00 PST

Letter from a fan

----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Administer Of Freerange Beatdowns Date: Jun 23, 2006 6:03 PM Dear Beer, First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My ...
Posted by Beer on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 09:42:00 PST

Sorry everyone...

Okay, to everyone who has requested Beer as a friend in the last month or so i apologize. As you may already know, Beer has no opposable thumb or even a hand to type therefore someone has to manage hi...
Posted by Beer on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 09:11:00 PST

St. Patrick's Day Stories

Post your interesting or not so interesting St. Patrick's Day stories... note: not so interested in not so interesting stories.
Posted by Beer on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 05:28:00 PST

Beer's Bestfriend

I wanna find out who on my list of friends is my BEST friend. he or she who leaves the best comment explaining why he/she is beers best friend will get the number one spot on beer's top 8 and beer's l...
Posted by Beer on Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:01:00 PST

Beer not getting you laid???

If beer isnt doing the trick with the ladies than let another lady help you out!! at wingwomen.com you can pay a woman to be your wingman... woman... sorry ladies. This girl will go with you to the l...
Posted by Beer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Best beer story contest coming soon

soon enough a beer story contest will be posted and winners will rewarded quite nicely. so try not to black out when you drink... cuz you might not remember a story that could be the future winner of ...
Posted by Beer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

What are you doing for St. Patricks Day??

What is everyone doing for st. patricks day? hopefully even you non drinkers are at least gonna get some green me! its the biggest drinking day of the year and i know one of you is going to get a dui....
Posted by Beer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

new group: PABB... check it out... or else!

. BEER has started a new group. PABB or people against broken bottles is a new group to stop the breaking of the things that contain me best. Beer bottles no longer have to hide in the corners. the...
Posted by Beer on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST