I was put on this planet to educate the older masses. I can teach ALL you old bastards how to stay young, fit and shed years off your appearance, like me. It's all down to 3 simple words.DRUM AND BASS.I am a 40 year young woman, hard to believe, I know. (see pics) Before I got into drum and bass I looked 49. Now, people say, " You don't look a day over 29, Julie Brownhole. What's your secret?"
I say, " You're as young as the DJ you feel, har har."
But mostly, I say, " Yeah, drum and bass did this for me. Great innit?!"What's so good about DRUM AND BASS????
The ENERGY man.. A raw and powerful energy. Fills your soul, mmmmmmm. You are powerless to stop that intense pleasure. And you don't want to stop it. This is the secret to eternal youth, after all.
If you're over 31... you'll be the oldest one in the club, unless you're Fabio, of course. Sir Fitzroy Heslop OBE is to dnb what Big Dawg, Tim Westwood, is to hip hop. Legends of the Dark Black. Both approaching the big 50 and looking good with it, eh? Pimp my pride boys. Werd. Take a cue from these guys. We can all hang with the young cru. Safe. DNB massif. Sick.DRUM AND BASS.... Soak it up and share it out. One love. Peace. Big up your Nan, rollin with the tunes, let's go....EZ ladies. Any single old girls out there? Drum and Bass is better than speed dating mate. Check it. Fact. Guaranteed ratio 70/30 - male dominated. Better still, if you live in Brighton.. half of them are real DJs! We've all got a good chance of pulling one, without fighting amongst ourselves, so calm down and bring them in.Finally..... a big shout out to all the DJs past and present I've had the pleasure to know and love. You know who you are. Big up yourselves. The world of dnb is certainly a welcoming and accomodating place thanks to you guys. Nudge nudge, wink wink. Beautiful man. Respect.
