Davey Darko profile picture

Davey Darko

Hotter than doughnut grease, biotch!

About Me

Women have all the power, because women have all the vaginas........... (AIM.. "itsDaveyDarko").....
So here is my plan to get rich 'quick'. Because really how much better would life be with tons of cash money!?
So first off i join a rock band, like a NJ big hair bar band. (jersey folk you know what I’m sayin') Then we become really big, big like we play Giant’s stadium (like Guns and Roses Paradise City video). Then I would have to bang every groupie that comes back stage(not that i want to, its just part of the plan). At the same time drink bottles of whiskey, like whole bottles(just like Slash).
Then after a few months, i start doing drugs, but i ain’t takin' stackers2's ladies, i mean the real-deal hollyfield shite, like heroin in eye lids. Then all of a sudden, rock 'n' roll becomes "cheesy" again, and our band drops off the scene, like Cinderella(you know you miss that band).
I still do the heroin, but now i start doing porno, like good porn, not this Jenna Jameson shit, i talkin good ol' midget bangin'. They would call me the "Midget Marauder" (insert 'dom,dom,DOMMMMM!).
But then the heroin kills my ability to get a boner, and i would get fired from my midget porn world(its ok i'll be strong). After that my second wife would have left me with all 3 kids, all because of the boner problem(you know, that’s all girls think about). But then after being alone for 10 months i am completely broke(because the new coke habbit) and alone(because of the boner thing).
So I decide to write a book. It sells pretty well, but not well like "Everybody Poops" well, but good..So here is when my master plan kicks in..I get enough money to buy a mask and a really big gun, big like Tackle Berry style(stay with me here). Then I go and rob a bank. BOOM!!! NOW I'm RICH! and I’m talking like Michael Jackson Never Never Land rich (he, heeee)..
and if you missed any of this, it will be documented on VH1's behind the music....
And you's people didn't think I's isn't smart and stuff....
hey if you read this far, you might as well add me to your list. I need to branch out.
...if you got yahoo messanger...
[email protected]

My Interests

working on my website. check it.
(the music is great)

CLICK ME

I learned to love my insomnia
I have a snaggle tooth
I have the worst
cock-a-roach phobia
in the world.


I would put a picture
of one on here
but i hate looking at pictures of those pricks!

I'd like to meet:

My moms always wanted me to meet a nice Gangsta Bitch.
..But I would take any short haired beauty..
and if she wears leg warmers, we're talking marriage baby!

Music:

country hardcore rap, because those hicks really got guns! ...
(Bjork-Olive) to
(Biggie-Dr.Octagon)

to (Bane-Walls of Jericho)
to (Alkaline Trio-Pedro The Lion)
to (Frank Sinatra-Billy Holiday)
to (Smashing Pumpkins-Pearl Jam) let us not forget about those grunge years folks.


In CD player now:

Tegan and Sara
the con

Movies:

PeeWee Hermans Big Adventure is there anything better?! Airplane, Old school, Amelie, Requiem for a Dream, Gummo, Swingers, Granny Gang Bang 3, Ace Ventura, Midget Madnes, House of 1000 Corpses, Beetle Juice, Akira, Ninja Scroll, Snatch, Hamburger the movie, Goonies, Kids, Kingpin, Bumfights

Television:

i lost my illegal Spice channel, so no more TV for me.



Books:

one time i read this book, and somehow got sucked in and had to save the people from "the nothing". fucking weird..



Heroes:

Jules Winnfield
We're all gonna be three little Fonzies - and what was Fonzie?!.

My Blog

My biscuits are burnin

Beware of this body washIts Dove's "Waterlily and Mint".Sure you're thinking what i was thinking right before i bought it...This soap is gonna make me smell awesome, and in turn, girls will wanna bone...
Posted by Davey Darko on Thu, 29 May 2008 09:13:00 PST

Flat Tire Jones

Not only did someone wake me up an hour before my alarm (which fucking pisses me off, cause i never go back to sleep) but i get to my car and I have a flat tire. And god damn you'd be surprised how a ...
Posted by Davey Darko on Thu, 04 Oct 2007 02:19:00 PST

Morning Wood

Dear Fella's,If there's ever a time to measure your weenis, during morning wood is the time!And all you guys know at least once in high school you measured it. I know i did, but i haven't since. UNTIL...
Posted by Davey Darko on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 02:00:00 PST

Worst part of summer....

Sweating 2 minutes after taking a shower!fuck i hate that shit
Posted by Davey Darko on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 04:47:00 PST

Shitty Karma.......literally!!

OK, so i go to this dog park almost every friday. Its this huge fenced in field where you let your dog run around a hump other dogs.good times. Its at Echo Lake Park if any of you dog people live in m...
Posted by Davey Darko on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 04:44:00 PST

15 random thoughts..

1. To my homies, nothing is better then seeing porn...................wait there's more.......... and noticing that you got a bigger "Spurt Reynolds" then the guy in the porn! Sure it doesn't happen m...
Posted by Davey Darko on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Worst x-mas of all time

Hope all you peeps have a good holiday! (notice I was PC by saying Holiday, instead of x-mas...you're welcome Jews) Anyhooter, hope everyone goes out and has a stiff drink, and collect some good gifts...
Posted by Davey Darko on Sat, 24 Dec 2005 01:56:00 PST

"Puppy Power!!"

Holy hell...i got a dog. His name is Gigantor! pronounced;(Jy-Gannnnnnnn-torrrrrr!) add a little echo, sounds better            ...
Posted by Davey Darko on Thu, 27 Oct 2005 12:04:00 PST

My addictions..... to go please!

I tell you what no  other movie made me hungrier then watching   Super Size Me   As bad as its sounds,  I went and got a BigMac right after the movie.   I had never had ...
Posted by Davey Darko on Sun, 04 Sep 2005 10:38:00 PST

you could take the boy outta the hood, but.....

     OK little do people know that I grew up in Newark, NJ....aka Brick City....aka Down Neck.....aka Iron Bound....Anyhooter, for those how don't know it, its more of a inner city...
Posted by Davey Darko on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST