WAYNE BERG! profile picture

WAYNE BERG!

Be present.

About Me

I am wAYNe...I am artsy and fartsy

I am sly with my Hollywood smile

The world is a ledge...I live life on its edge

Thumbing my nose all the while

Limerick by Jon Pereles of Neal Ford and the Fanatics

My Interests

Improvisational comedy, mirthism, kiestering, the homeless, the secret, MAD and CRACKED, travel, personal growth, life experience, family, new people, scrapbooking, cartooning, korean bbq, sunshine, inspiring music, stimulating conversation, rain, Saturday morning cartoons from the 80s and 90s, Conan O'Brien, family history, evolution, Wheat Thins, babies, inspired life missions, TM, happiness, bilgewater, Kombucha, Eastern Religion, world history, funny porn, tomatoes, artistic graffiti, Venice boardwalk, passionate kisses, astronomy, wheatgrass shots, making my mom laugh, my amazing friends, oral hygiene. sleep, organization, Tom Ka Guy, This American Life, stand up comedy, Bisbee AZ, Ye Olde King's Head, The Groundlings, self-confidence, chorizo and eggs, dogs, building forts, action figures, The Garfield House, Kerouac, the occult, The Jan, menudo (not the band), Second City, Sedona AZ, glossolalia, Sage and Caca, Red Bull, karaoke, Australian accents, horror movies, the supernatural, cryptozoology, plantains, Las Vegas NV, Halloween, al pastor tacos, meteor showers, Saturday night family bbqs, raver love, being on stage, laughter, Twilight Zone, shower singing, visits from friends, happy tears, my mom's lasagna, action, touching, creativity, memories, the full moon, tight hugs

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who knows when to be sentimental and when to embrace change.

Music:

www.pandora.com

Movies:

COMEDY and HORROR are my favs, but I also really like tear-jerkin DRAMA and ACTION. Is it lame that I'm listing genres instead of movie titles? I like the plots TWISTY and DEEP. THINKERS. But I also like movies that let you just coast along on amazing visuals with no concern of a plotline. I'm all over the place, aren't I? That's what I am, two Waynes. Two Waynes, like Thomas Jefferson was two Jeffersons. Except I don't have any slave kids. But I would love some! Slave kids are so loveable. Don't get mad, I'm not making a racial comment, because I really do love them. Good thing we have affirmative action now, so the decendants of those slave kids can get good jobs. I am all about affirmative action. I think that minorities should have the best paying jobs. I hate Aristocrats. White people are of the devil. That is why God blessed Black and Asian folk with graceful aging. White and Hispanic people got a raw deal. White and Hispanic men and women end up looking the same in old age, the women get moustaches and beards, especially those Hispanic grandmas...fu man chu and everything. How the hell did I get started on this? Oh Jefferson. Yeah, he bagged Sally Hemming. Okay, I'm done.

Television:

Grey's Anatomy, Sopranos, Family Guy

Books:

Less than half an inch thick.

Heroes:

Mom Mom and Aunt Nita.

My Blog

what the blog?

For some reason I have about a hundred blog posts on my profile.  Some MySpace glitch has repeated the same three or four blogs over and over, so I am actually writing this blog just to see if po...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:40:00 PST

Pisces in motion

Just returned from a relaxing Memorial Day weekend up in Visalia where I was visiting Jessi Jean who is recovering from a surgery that left her with one ovary. Her spirits were high, and she...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Wed, 28 May 2008 08:44:00 PST

FaLCOR

I'm so stoked to share that my sonofabitch truck Falcor has FINALLY passed SMOG. After taking the truck to three separate mechanics, the problem triggering the CHECK ENGINE light has been narrowe...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:13:00 PST

my dad's a real gem

So this owl up and dies in my dad's pine tree, and it's talon caught on a tall branch leaving the remains hanging upside-down with wings spread, rotting in the Arizona sun.  My dad spen...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Wed, 21 Dec 2005 11:43:00 PST

HERE

I am here.  That's where I have always been, and where I will always be.  No matter how much I change as a person, I will always be here, right now.  There is no past or future, and we ...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 02:51:00 PST

pooping at Bloomingdale's

So I'm using the restroom in Bloomingdale's at the Beverly Center today and this creepy Bloomingdale's employee followed me in there and peeked at me through the crack in the stall door whilst pretend...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 11:09:00 PST

great quote

  "You may throw your rock and hide your hand, working in the dark against your fellow man. As sure as god made black and white what is done in the dark will be brought to the light."...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 11:29:00 PST

spill yer guts

NOW Is your hair up?its spikey, so sure Is your phone right beside you?no Do you wish you were somewhere else?floating face-down in a spa Do you have plans for tonight?go number three Are you wearing ...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 11:40:00 PST

THE CARICATURE LIST

YOU WANT A CARICATURE...LEAVE A COMMENT HERE TO GET ON THE LIST...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 10:38:00 PST

glitches are bitches

I've expelled so much energy deleting multiple emails due to these glitches that my arms have gone completely numb from carpal tunnel and fallen off.  I am typing this with my tongue and nose, an...
Posted by WAYNE BERG! on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:03:00 PST