Dingleberrycrunch profile picture

Dingleberrycrunch

And it makes no difference to me how they cried all over overseas

About Me

Myspace Contact Tables Hi.
I think this is what a bio is for. Which is to your left. It talks about stuff. Comedy stuff.
If you're hated by your peers there's probably a real good reason.
My Real Good Reason is neurotic paranoia.
And my well-meaning attempts to be an annoying prick.

My Interests

Joining clubs
Clubbing
Whittling (mostly clubs, some sticks)
Podiatry surgery for club feet
Trying and failing to contract AIDS over and over again in a monogamous relationship. Sometimes we use a club with AIDS on it. That didn't work either.
Jesus, are you still reading this? Didn't you realize I'd run out of steam after the third club reference? I try too hard, and you're here to witness it.
You're probably some sort of sadist who gets joy out of the pain of others. Want to join my club? It's called Club Shatner-freud and we root for Captain Kirk's death in Star Trek episodes.
I've never been more ashamed than this moment.

I'd like to meet:

Some sort of meal ticket.

Music:

Stuff with instruments. A capella is for pussies. Music is my sports, in that I'm horrible at it myself but keep track of everyone, where they're at, their stats, and continuously judge them as if I could do better.

Television:

The Office, Heroes, Weeds

Books:

so many books. George R.R. Martin for starters, but I read many many books. I'm smart and stuff.

My Blog

bin a long time

Bin a long time since I blog and rolledAll work and no blogging makes homer something somethingPromise I'll be back next week. Haven't had SHIT for time. New house.Moving 2 weekends.Rehab.Oh lord, reh...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:55:00 PST

I have a cold and am thoroughly creeped out

I woke up with a sore throat monday morning, now I've got a full blown cold. Sniffles, sneezing every ten minutes, the usual.Good times.Creepy times:Last night hung out with 3 people who work for my c...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 03:12:00 PST

I’m not gay, but my old apartment is

Doesn't work as well as last time, does it? Stupid titles, always funny once, then just stupid. I'm exhausted. I've been busting my ass since last Wed on the move. Moved out of the old apartment into ...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:11:00 PST

I’m not gay, but my senator is

Breaking NewsMost of you probably read or heard about this. Sadly not on the Daily Show since it's on break.The greatest irony is he was responsible/voted for every anti-gay legislation to come across...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 08:05:00 PST

Thats no moon, its a space station!

Trite title. Yes.Girlfriend/fiance writes me today.Hey can you do volleyball on Wed night?Normally that would just be neat. Oh she wants me to do volleyball.But I have to finish packing then and Thur...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:04:00 PST

too many posts today

Last night Jesus and Friends conspired to keep me offstage.Open mic at the Comedy Zone gets moved to 10:15 PM instead of 6:30.I debate over going, decide I will.Head to the Comedy Zone, TONS OF FIRETR...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 07:59:00 PST

wash mah mouf out

I say fuck too much. particularly when talking about pigs.I'm sorry.No I'm not.But I do need to cut it out, there's better words and I'm just sounding ignant.I'll probably write another blog this afte...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 07:46:00 PST

Cops Are Pigs

Specifically this one honky fuckwit who wrote me three tickets about a month ago. I've been waiting for the court date to pass (yesterday) since I'm super-paranoid about putting shit on the internets ...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:04:00 PST

A thousand different versions of yourself

"And if the old guard still offend,They got nothing left on which you depend,So enlist every ounceOf your bright blood,And off with their heads"For a variety of reasons, I love that lyric from the Shi...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Fri, 17 Aug 2007 09:41:00 PST

of COURSE it bites me in the ass

So my triumphant return to the Knox open mic was not triumphant.Here's the funny thing about blogs. Nobody ever tells you they read it until you shit right into their mouths. Everybody reads that fuck...
Posted by Dingleberrycrunch on Fri, 17 Aug 2007 07:50:00 PST