Things, stuff, stuff with things...y'know...the usual.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
I want someone to share things with. I want to get off of work and instead of going home, go to her house and watch a movie, or just sit and talk, or hell, maybe even get laid. I want to go to the Met, and hold hands while staring at Van Gough or Monet. I want to go to all the obscure places in the city and just sit and stare at her. I want to take pictures on the beach. I want someone that I can turn to and say..."Look, I'm leaving New York...I have to get out of this place...but I want to take you with me. Come with me." And I want her to say yes. I want to wake up in the morning and not be alone. I want someone I can call and say good night to. I want someone I can love without a mountain of bullshit and secretive plots and complications. I want to love. I want to write poems that don't break my heart. I want to finish "Cryptic Tears" with a happy ending. I want family dinners at her house, and mine as well. I want to be with someone for my birthday. I want to have someone to wish a happy birthday. I want all the secretive looks of passion tossed at each other while with a large group of people. I want sex in a bathroom during a party. I want someone to bring to the wedding. I want someone that will drive with me to Florida on a whim, just to have dinner in Clearwater beach, or lunch in Tarpon Springs. I want someone that will say: "I love you, and I am in love with you." I want to be cliche, and disgustingly cute. I want people to look at us and say "Oh my God, were we that disgustingly lame in public too?" I want all this love I have inside me to have a destination that isn't closed off for one reason or another. I WANT TO BE IN A LOVE THAT DOES NOT POISON ME! God damn it I want to be happy. I want someone I can take a bath with in the candle light, and just hold. I want someone that will watch me sleep. I want someone to watch movies with, and read books with, and listen to music, hug, kiss, touch, hold, fuck, lick, kick, wrestle, make love, tell jokes, argue with, cook dinner with...I want someone I can take pictures with. I want a life with someone. I want kids, and a house, and two cars and a mini van. I want baseball games and dance class. I want to be known as "dad" or "daddy" I want to be a father. I want to be the light in someone's life. I want to be held. I want you, yes, you. I want to buy you jewelry and chocolates and roses. I want to be nervous when you call me, I want butterflies before I see you. I want a first date. I want the cold fear I get as I drop to one knee and tell you what you mean to me. I want to see you cry as I slip a ring on your finger and say "I love thee true." I want my devious "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" I want to have meaning. I want someone to lie down with, and stare at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling, and tell stories of times filled with pain, or laughter. I want to tell stories to someone that hasn't heard them. I want to be able to say anything, and have them tell me anything. I want to have someone I can open up to, about everything. I want a clear conscious. I want to hold her while she cries and tell her that everything will be okay. I want to be the Angel in someone's life. I want an Angel that will be mine, and only mine. I want a face to wake up to. I want lips to kiss me, I want arms to hold me. I want a wedding of my own. I want her to call her mom or best friend and say "I found him, I found the man I am going to marry." I want everything I once had, everything I ever wanted. I want to give and give and get back the same. I want Christmas with someone I love. I want nights in front of the fireplace with the one I adore. I want wine on a cold winter night and eyes that see into eternity. I want the look that will send my heart into a million shades of love. I want Zen. I want everything to stop hurting. I want to stop wanting. I want to have. I want a million pictures of us on our walls and desks and dresser tops and mantles. I want our house. I want our bed. I want to not be alone. I want to meet your friends and you meet mine. I want Bar B. Q's, and picnics with our families. I want hugs and kisses for no reason. I want to kiss your eye lids and while you sleep and tell you that you're everything I never knew I ever wanted. I want to watch shitty romantic comedies and remember what it is to feel like that, I want to watch Romeo and Juliet and cry tears of joy and love. I want to stop being sad. I want birds and dogs that we can call ours. I want to walk with you along the beach hand in hand and just take it all in. I want someone I don't have to talk to. I want love. I want pure love, whole love, love that never dies. I want to sing you love songs and watch you smile. I want to jump up in the middle of the city, onto a pillar, or mailbox and go on and on about everything in life. I want to embarrass you in public and watch your face turn red, and your hand cover your face and hear you laughing at what an idiot I am. I want you to hug me as tight as you can when I've been gone all day. I want someone to miss me. I want someone to say good-bye when I leave for work. I want to hear "I love you" over and over again. I want to watch the Crow with someone in my arms. I want to go to the movies, and dinners and bookstores and museums and flea markets. I want you. I want all the magic I once believed in to be real again. Gods I want I want I want!No...wait Change every "want" into "need." I need these things...and I will have them...so who among you will be The One?
Cruxshadows, Tool, Elliott Smith, Fall Out Boy, NIN, Alice Cooper, Matisyahu, Green Day, Manson, Combichrist HIM, Trivium, Reel Big Fish, Velvet Acid Christ, Grendel, Hocico, Tactical Sekt, Zombie Girl, Head Automatica, Death From Above 1979, :wumpscut:, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Bullet For My Valentine, Brand New, Lucky Boys Confusion, Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance, 2Cents, Pantera, Matchbook Romance, Silverstein, Mindless Self Indulgence, Rob Zombie, Powerman 5000, Story Of The Year, CKY, Tori Amos, Opeth, Slipknot, Cringe, Perfect Circle, Diary of Dreams, Seraphim Shock, Tenacious D, One Side Zero, Unearth, Bowie, Bush, Hatebreed, Denied, NYHC, VNV Nation, Ill Nino, Apoptygma Berzerk, Neuroactive, Beborn Beton, The Mission UK, In Flames, Seether, Sevendust, Spineshank, From Autumn To Ashes, Killswitch Engage, Mushroomhead, Three Days Grace, The Weakerthans, The Vandals, Lacuna Coil, Bad Religion, Alkaline Trio, Rise Against, Pennywise, Thrice, Bleeding Through, Alanis Morissette, AFI, Black Label Society, 311, Orgy, Enigma, Boys Night Out, Kansas, Queen, Meatloaf, Sublime, Vivaldi, Mozart, Beethoven, Dvorak, Bach, Stravinsky, Schubert, Chopin, Verdi, Carlos Vives, Elvis Crespo, Fulanitos...so on and so forth...
Alice in Wonderland, Pirates of the Caribbean, Donnie Darko, 5th Element, PI, The Crow, Brick, The Spawn trilogy, Princess Mononoke, Legend, Labyrinth, Requiem for a Dream, Clockwork Orange, Vampire Hunter D-Bloodlust, Lost Boys, Underworld, Dracula, Anything with Gary Oldman, The Beach, Goonies, Jesus Christ-Vampire Hunter, Titus, Resident Evil, Braveheart, Patriot, Ghost in the Shell, Samurai X, The Professional, Desperado, Cool as Ice, RAD(Mrs. Uncle Jessy doing bike tricks, HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG?!) The Pest, Freeway, Finding Nemo, Monsters INC., BASEketball, (I don't have your fucking ball alright?!) The Kevin Smith collection, SLC Punk, The Last Temptation of Christ, Immortal Beloved, Cutthroat Island, What Dreams May Come, The Ninth Gate, Fight Club, Seven, Hannibal, Nightmare Before Christmas, South Park, Lost in Space, The Five Deadly Venoms, Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2, Romeo + Juliet, Empire Records, CKY 4, The Princess Bride, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Lilo And Stitch, 50 First Dates, Way of The Gun...
The Simpsons, CSI, Andromeda, Seaquest DSV (I'm a closet sci-fi geek) Invader Zim, Futurama, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Inu Yasha, Conan O'Brian, Lost, Heroes, House, just about any documentary...
Alice in Wonderland, Anne Rice books, Poppy Z. Brite's work, Especially "Lost Souls" which was the first book I ever read cover to cover...and I've read it 73 times since, Lamb, by Christopher Moore, Books on 17th century poetry, Any Vampire books...
Me.