Elijah profile picture

Elijah

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I enjoy playing the bass guitar, cooking, measuring in picas, and keeping my beautiful wife happy. I'm a graphic designer for a company that makes coffee table books. They save a few thousand a year in salary by not making me wear a tie more than twice a year. With rare exception, I prefer the mono mix to the stereo mix, and I'll typically buy five mediocre records by a band before I'll buy their flawless greatest hits record. I'm a firm believer in this , this , this , this and this .

Several million years ago, I was an aspiring rock star. By “aspiring”, I mean that three other guys and myself spent a staggering amount of time and money touring the Northeast and self-releasing three CDs. Then, after five years, we packed it all in. We never made a cent, but we had a great time. I highly recommend buying a van and driving it around the country with three friends and a bunch of instruments. It helps if you learn to play them first, but lots of people learn on the job. Worth every penny.

After I gave up on being a billionaire rock star, I decided to bite the bullet and go back to school. I spent the next five years working as an admin assistant at Northeastern University while earning my Graphic Design Bachelor’s Degree at night. I’m proud to say that I graduated Magna Cum Laude in just under five years while working full time. Which brings me to right about now.

Around the time I went back to school, I met my now-wife, Danielle. We got married in May 2005 (three days after I finished school). Shortly after that, we became working retirees and moved to sunny South Florida. We’re enjoying the beaches and crippled jaywalking senior citizens of our newly adopted home, and we’re working on getting our state to vote differently.

My Interests

Playing music, art, graphic design, politics, civil liberties, social justice, humanism , the separation of church and state, arguing with Republicans, etc.

I'd like to meet:

People who are cool and live in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area. People who want to give me their used vinyl, and/or cast me in their student films. People who have compelling ideas that when implemented, might sustain a Democratic majority for a long, long time. People who want to look at my design portfolio and hire me at an obscenely high rate.

Music:



Movies:

The Big Lebowski, The Royal Tenenbaums, Dr. Strangelove, Rebel Without a Cause, The Squid and the Whale, Lost in Translation, Do the Right Thing, Garden State, Apocalypse Now, Pieces of April, Mystic River, Magnolia, Afterlife, Trust, To Die For, The Muppet Movie, The Godfather, Logjammin', Being John Malkovich, Mo Better Blues, Being There, Life of Brian, Wings of Desire, The 5000 Fingers of Dr T, Repo Man, Taxi Driver, Serpico, Animal House, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, This Is Spinal Tap.

Television:

Wonder Showzen, Daily Show, The Colbert Report, 30 Rock, Mock Trial with J. Reinhold, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Starsky and Hutch.

Books:

Douglas Coupland, Kurt Vonnegut, Charles Bukowski, Oscar Wilde, CD Payne, Tom Robbins, Dr. Suess, Delmore Schwartz.

Heroes:

My Farmor Maren Moller, Bill Brasky, Vaughan Oliver, Mary Tyler Moore, James Jamerson, Kurt Vonnegut, Kristin Hersh, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mingering Mike, Peter Saville, Harriet Tubman, Tony Bennett, Duke Ellington, Spike Lee, Charles Bukowski, Red Foreman.

My Blog

Halle Berry, We Need to Talk.

Halle Berry,It feels odd that I'm trying to talk to you. Before this morning, you were little more to me than a reasonably hard-working actress who had been in a few half-decent movies and a lot of cr...
Posted by Elijah on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 11:06:00 PST

Reflections on GWs Stem Cell Veto, or How Much I Love Having Type 1 Diabetes

In celebration of President Bush vetoing another stem cell research bill, I would like to reiterate my total love of everything about having type 1 diabetes. This, of course, is the kind of diabetes t...
Posted by Elijah on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 01:56:00 PST

Open Letter to AT&T

To Whom It May Concern:It is my understanding that if I were using your Internet service, your current terms stipulate that you may terminate my connection for conduct that "tends to damage the name o...
Posted by Elijah on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:58:00 PST

Motherfucker, I Want More Iced Tea.

www.cafepress.com/moreicedtea...
Posted by Elijah on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 09:40:00 PST

Purgatory Is...

Summer 1993, Connecticut: Bill and I have walked into a party in New Haven, where we are meeting his brother Mike, who is going to give us a ride home to Norwalk. Mike isn't there yet. In the corner o...
Posted by Elijah on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 09:35:00 PST

Coke Zero Fills Your Q-Zone With Diet Cola Goodness (TM)

I know I'd be setting myself up for disappointment if I expected the Coca Cola company's marketing language to always be above reproach, but am I wrong to feel insulted by this? This is an insult to m...
Posted by Elijah on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 05:05:00 PST

In My Day, We Called Them Mix Tapes.

I made a mix. Songs you haven't heard, but should. Songs you've heard, but forgot about. Songs you thought you hated. Songs my wife used to love, but now hates, because I play them too often. And segu...
Posted by Elijah on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 09:53:00 PST

The War Prayer by Mark Twain

I have no words about this at all. Just that it's one of the most powerful things I've seen in a long time.Part One: Part Two: ...
Posted by Elijah on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 11:35:00 PST

Bass Player, yo.

If you know any South Floridians who might be interested, feel free to pass this on...Bass PlayerWhat I'm Looking For:Like-minded people who are interested in making music together. I'm a fairly accom...
Posted by Elijah on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 08:03:00 PST

This is very important. It is about typography.

For what it's worth, I get paid to care about stuff like this. Anyway, if you're typing two spaces after a period, please stop. Just... stop.The reason you may have learned to type two spaces after a ...
Posted by Elijah on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 09:32:00 PST