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Family Guy - Naked Gun Intro (S05)
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PETER GRIFFIN
Peter Griffin is a big, boisterous, lovable oaf who isn't afraid to say what's on his freakin' mind -- usually the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. He lives in Quahog, Rhode Island with his wife, Lois, their three children -- Chris, Meg and Stewie -- and his well-spoken best friend, Brian, the family dog. Peter would do anything for his family, as long as it doesn't get in the way of his TV time.
After his boss at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company, Mr. Weed, suffered a freak choking accident at the Griffin residence, Peter found himself without a job and without an income. After trying his hand at numerous jobs, Peter bought a boat, hired a crew of 2 Portugese men (Santos and Pasqual), and has now settled into his new career as a local fisherman.
What Peter lacks in common sense and good judgment, he makes up for in enthusaism. He often goes overboard when he latches onto an idea. Whether he's leading an improvisation scene during a bank robbery or running barefoot in the rain with William Shatner, Peter Griffin is always looking for fun.
Although Peter was 30 years old the very first time he had gas, he's been making up for it ever since. He recently ripped the longest fart in television history. When asked to comment on the eruption, Peter merely replied, "Hehehehe."
LOIS GRIFFIN
Lois Griffin is a moder-day housewife who finds time to cook, clean, run errands, teach piano and avoid daily attempts on her life by her baby son, Stewie. Of course, a mother's love runs deep. So deep in this case, that Lois is blind to Stewie's matricidal intentions, atrributing his perpetual foul mood to plain old crankiness.
Born in upper-crust Newport, Rhode Island, the one-time heiress to the Pewterschmidt family estate gave up the privileged life to be with the towel boy she fell in love with. She hasn't looked back since. No matter how many times Peter falls down (in some cases due to too many Pawtucket Patriot beers), Lois is right there to pick him up again.
Lois is generally the voice of reason that Peter can't hear until it's too late. However, even Lois has been known to temporarily leave her senses. In fact, rumor has it she's put on bold and seductive piano performances right in the family's basement.
Lois is a complex and mysterious woman. Think Martha Stewart meets Barbarella.
MEG GRIFFIN
Sixteen-year-old Meg Griffin lives a difficult life. She is a total outsider at school as well as at home. The constant butt of the joke, Meg is forever reminded what a loser she really is. She is constantly struggling to gain acceptance from the "in" crowd, or any crowd for that matter.
A bit of a drama queen, Meg pines for her hunky new neighbor, Kevin. Unfortunately, not even a clingy new dress or an eleven-hundred-dollar Prada bag seem to get her any closer to first base. Like most girls her age, Meg is often embarrassed by her family. However, most girls don't have Peter Griffin as their father, who has turned embarassment into an art. He once interrupted Meg's class to chide her about shaving her legs in the shower, complaining that "it's like a carpet in there!"
But Meg will survive. And one day she'll get the popularity she so richly deserves. Yeah, right.
CHRIS GRIFFIN
Chris Griffin is an overgrown, sweet-hearted 13-year-old who looks imposing, but wouldn't hurt a fly (unless it landed on his hot dog, his favorite food). In that case, Chris would probably treat the fly as a condiment.
Chris doesn't have many friends. He often stays to himself, sometimes spending time alone in his bedroom. Or that is what you may think. He is in fact tormented by an evil monkey that resides in his closet. Though Chris shares his tales of the pointing and sneering primate with his parents, they are forever indifferent to his cries.
Chris idolizes Peter and works hard not to disappoint him. It's a good thing for Chris that his father's expectations are so low. Still, Chris does have some hidden talents, especially his ability to draw. He should probably spend more time cultivating his skill and less time with Peter in front of the boob tube, looking for boobs.
A true individual, Chris lumbers to the beat of his own drum. Although physically he's matured early, he still has a way to go intellectually. But just because he's still not clear on where babies come from doesn't mean he's not eager to learn.
STEWIE GRIFFIN
Stewie Griffin is a 1-year-old baby with a single goal: Total World Domination. He has the voice and manner of an evil Rex Harrison, but he's only recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of his escape from his mother's "cursed ovarian Bastille," in which he was incarcerated for nine gruelling months. Stewie has vowed to defeat his mother's matriarchal tyranny and topple the "gynocracy" she rules.
Just because Lois has narrowly escaped several attempts on her life thus far (from a box of chocolates filled with active grenades to a barrage of arrows shot straight for her head) doesn't mean she's in the clear yet. Stewie might begrudge Lois a modicum of respect for being the worthy adversary she is, but don't be fooled. One day her uppance shall come!
In fact, if it were not for his lack of muscle tone, toilet training and his need for parentally provided sustenance, Stewie would have already gained control over most of the third world, including Canada. Until his dominion over all mankind comes to fruition, anyone or anything that interferes with his grand plan shall be destroyed. And if he can create a machine that controls the weather, what makes you think he won't be able to control you, hmmm?
BRIAN GRIFFIN
Brian Griffin is more than just the family dog. He is a gentleman and a scholar, and undeniably the most eloquent member of the Griffin household. Brian is the first person Peter will turn to in times of crisis. But the sarcastic barbs that Brian doles out can be as dry as his martinis.
Yes, Brian has been known to toss back a few. Some say it's to kill the pain that comes with the social stigma of being a dog. Others say it's to help him forget the time before he met Peter, when he was a homeless stray who cleaned windshields for handouts. But Brian will tell you it's just good for his coat.
Drinking and throwing out witty bon mots aren't the only things Brian is good at. If you ask him to speak, don't be surprised if he responds in flawless French. He's also got an amazing voice -- he can sing all four parts of a barbershop quartet simultaneously. In short, Brian might be the family dog, but don't tell him that. Did we mention that Brian also holds a third-degree green belt in taekwondo? And in seven more years he'll be a black belt. That's one more year to you and me.