Mistress Ice, aka the Cleanser

About Me

My blog is gruesome, bloody, sexual, and violent. If you do NOT enjoy those things, don't read it. I know I am twisted. It is a comfortable warm place.
I am the perfect machine.
It isn't as if people KNOW it when they see me. I am tall, blonde, and have a smile that will melt your heart. Not literally melt it, you dumbass. I like to make it last.
I am smarter than you, and a sociopath. Monster, schmonster! Everyone is just jealous that I have such power over men and I enjoy my work so much. I get hungry a lot. I have a vore fetish. And a blood fetish. And a medical fetish.
I am the Cleanser. Simple as that. I think Dr. Robert Hare is brilliant. I have never exhibited any of the MacDonald triad. But I am a bit sexually histrionic, bipolar, short-tempered, and ADHD. Men like to call it 'wild'. Tee hee. I am your friendly neighbourhood sadistic sex addict.
I love you all like a kid loves his ant farm. Yummy.
The next time you see a young lady pulling the 'Oh, help me, my car broke down!' stunt, it could be me.

My Interests

Blood, vore, knives, psychopathy, criminology, anatomy, and torture. People interested in brutal medieval torture, sadism, fluffy kittens, blood, serial killers, vampires, and forensics. I collect animal skulls, knives, and gas masks. Not a big fan of laws, morals, empathy, remorse, or guilt. Borrrrring.

I'd like to meet:

Rob Zombie. Yumfest. I would take him straight, no chaser. Oh, and I want a threesome with Rob Zombie and Dave Grohl. No funny stuff. Actually, make that a foursome. I will bring my good friend Stolichnaya.

Okay okay. Give me Edward Norton. I would make a meal out of that lovely hunk of man. And I would make him a very nice breakfast the next morning.

Frankly, I am not very nice, so I would like to meet men who love bad girls. But who DOESN'T love a bad girl?

Let's tear up the countryside together and cut a huge swath through the puerile, helpless, useless masses of humanity. Yah, just pretend that you haven't thought of doing it already.

I would also love to meet men who will gulp down any drinks I make for them, and who like to play little games where I tie you up with duct tape. You must know when I put duct tape over your nose and mouth at the same time that I am just playing with you. I just like watching your eyes bug out and your skin turn funny colours.

"Fuck, let's hope it's not an open casket service."

Music:

NIN, Rob Zombie, Pantera, Queens of the Stone Age, Death from Above 1979, Union Underground. And I am usually too shy to admit it, but my victim's screams are music to my ears and usually induce violent orgasms. I guess I am just lucky that way.

Movies:

You know, that movie with that guy! You know that movie. That guy was SO awesome.

Devil's Rejects, Natural Born Killers, Straw Dogs, Crash, Saw, Hostel, Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, The Cell, Seven, Fight Club, Memento, Donnie Darko, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, Layer Cake, Snatch, Pulp Fiction, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Reservoir Dogs, Army of Darkness, Taxi Driver, Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Clockwork Orange, American Psycho, Bubba Hotep, Usual Suspects... and the more gore, the better. I can almost smell the blood from here. I just wish Hostel had more torture in it. Seriously. The first half played like a European spring break T&A flick. Which would have been fine, except I wanted to see blood. Lots of blood. Fuckers. But I love Eli Roth anyway. ;)

Television:

Books:

On the uses of torture. I am the doorway. Day of the triffids. Lord of the flies. The lottery. The Stand. Medieval torture books, police manuals, true crime, fetish, anatomy, viruses, old medical texts. I enjoy learning about and testing the human endurance for pain and torture.

Heroes:

Rob Zombie, Dave Grohl, Edward Norton, Bruce Motherfuckin' Campbell, freaks, geeks, and people who love playing with human ant farms as much as I do!

My Blog

The dreams of a killer.

Dream. I dream a lot. Quite often I wake up unrefreshed, and I think it is because of the dreams I have. I walk around in a daze for most of the day, even if I take a nap. I am not sure what to...
Posted by The Cleanser on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:10:00 PST

dial, javex, and jenny.

I go through one bottle of Liquid Dial antibacterial soap every week, but even this fails to quiet the noises inside my head. I am very careful to keep myself clean. Liquid Dial is my favorite soap. ...
Posted by The Cleanser on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:31:00 PST

Oregon. Heavy on the sex and violence.

I decided that I needed a break. I had just left my boyfriend of a couple of years and needed to get away. &n...
Posted by The Cleanser on Sun, 10 Sep 2006 05:46:00 PST

The most beautiful and haunting song lyrics...

I had this dream where I relished the fray and the screaming filled my head all day. It was as though I'd been spit here, settled in, into the pocket of a lighthouse on some rocky socket, o...
Posted by The Cleanser on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 11:43:00 PST

A little vacation.

I am sick of headaches. I decide I need to get away for a while, go on a little trip away from Sooke, away from Victoria. I havent been away from here in a while. Maybe I wil...
Posted by The Cleanser on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 09:54:00 PST

On the development of teeth - a poem.

My heart is dead. It is black and sits lonely and rotten in my chest. Even my soul is gone. It was a heavy stone, too heavy to carry, such a burden. I burned it alive. It screamed and dance...
Posted by The Cleanser on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 10:29:00 PST

Mouth of sugar, I have no eyes. Poems.

sweet mouth of sugar succulent and dense in its own space and ready for you waiting biding its time waiting to bleach you out ___________________ demo...
Posted by The Cleanser on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 10:22:00 PST

The story of Mike.

There must be thousands upon thousands of Mikes in the world. This is the story of one of them. Mike is about 40 years old. Has receding hair. Glasses. Tall. Has let hi...
Posted by The Cleanser on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 10:21:00 PST

Separating Steve.

My head hurts. I have no doubt. I hit you with this. I hold up a baseball bat. His eyes roll around, look at the bat, then focus on me, on my eyes. I put the bas...
Posted by The Cleanser on Wed, 23 Aug 2006 09:23:00 PST

I am the monster. With burning.

They always tell you to write about what you know. I write about me. The funny thing is, the newspapers make me out to be this big mean animal. They might as well give me fangs and claws ...
Posted by The Cleanser on Sat, 19 Aug 2006 02:49:00 PST