Clare profile picture

Clare

If I can't dance - I don't want to be part of your revolution

About Me

I'm one tough cookie who's managed to retain her gooey center. I love the things I love with as much of myself as I can muster. I take my time to consider things, but once I make a decision, I become the very definition of steadfast.
I love the lilt of words. I love the rhythm of conversation. I love the dynamic nature of language. I love to get lost in a well told story. I pay attention to detail. I take note. I've been told by all sorts of people that I'm a good listener. I don't have all the right answers, but I've learned how and why to ask a lot of the right questions.
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Voltaire
I find other people fascinating and repulsive at the same time. I assume they feel the same way about me. Individual people mostly fascinate me. Large collective groups of individuals mostly repulse me. Everything else sort of does something in between.
I like to ritualize mundane tasks to make them meaningful. I tend to give inanimate objects that I regularly interact with names. I enjoy making the occasional grand proclamation. When I talk to people on the phone I imagine the person on the other end as themselves, but in sock puppet form. I hate wearing shoes when I drive. I'm terrible with people's names, but I never forget a face. If you ask me what I think, I will tell you. Sometimes I don't wait to be asked. I'll sing my heart out, but only in my car. I'll take an honest 'no' over an empty 'yes' every time. I wear pajamas to work regularly. I've been known to wear slippers in a blizzard.
I can basically get along with anybody but measure my friends by whether or not I'd want them in my van when the zombies come and we have to cobble together a mobile killing machine from duct tape and potentially lethal household appliances. Not many people make it into my (at present) hypothetical van, but once you're in, you'll have to pull some miraculously messed up chump-assed bullshit before I'll decide I have no other choice but to foist your ass out to be eaten alive.

My Interests

I have several. Many of which I can name for you in alphabetical order. But if you're really curious about what I dig, ask me. The stuff I really like I also really like to talk about.

I'd like to meet:

Smart People, Wickedly Funny People, Creative People, Open Minded People, Devious People, Completely Dorky People, Brave People, Opinionated People, Passionate People, Real People.

People I'd Like Not to Meet: Know-It-Alls, Disrespectful Pricks, Delusional Narcissists, Gossipy Jerks, Pathologically Entitled Blow Hards, Willfully Ignorant Loud Mouths, Vapid Douchebags, Religious Zealots, Consumer Zombies, Self-Righteous Homophobes, Men Slathered in Macho Cheese.

Music:

I have 4000 entries on my iPod presently and it doesn't feel like nearly enough. I like music in all kinds of genres (and yes, that includes rap and country and classical all swirled up in there too).I think it'd be simpler to talk about what kind of music I don't like. I don't like music that doesn't have heart, that doesn't come from a real place and/or that isn't an expression of something deeply felt. If it's got moxy and soul, regardless of what noise it makes when it comes out, I'm on board.

Movies:

I'm going to be keeping a list of all the movies I watch starting in January 2007. I've been told I watch a lot and I want to know how much "a lot " actually is. I'll be keeping a running list of them all on my blog here.
I love movies. I love to watch them. I love to analyze them. I love to talk about them and read about them and sit for long periods of time and decide how I really feel about them. I tend to know pretty quickly if I like or don't like something, but with movies, I also tend to formulate rather detailed explanations about what, specifically, I liked or didn't like and why. I used to be embarrassed about how into movies I am. I'm not any more. If you want to go to a movie or chat about a movie, recommend a movie or debate the relative merits of a movie, I'm your girl.
Mutant Reviewers From Hell
I wrote insanely entertaining movie reviews and features for them for about 5 years . According to my husband, my review of Matrix: Revolutions is the best movie review he's ever read. I'm particularly proud of my You Know, That Guy! series.

Television:

TV shows I'd lay down in traffic for.
Arrested Development, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Freaks and Geeks, Homicide: Life on the Streets, Jackass, Mr. Show, Oz, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Sifl and Olly, South Park, Spaced, Sports Night, The Daily Show, The Shield, The Young Ones
I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with TV. I love to hate it and hate to love it. And I do both regularly.
Stuff I watch regularly or will sit and watch if it comes on. Heroes, Firefly, Cash Cab, Mythbusters, Project Runway, The Office, My Name Is Earl, 30 Rock, House, The Biggest Loser, Celebrity Fit Club, any and all pop culture list shows (dear lord I'm addicted to these. I don't even care what the list is pertaining to), Inside the Actors Studio, Food Challenge, Iron Chef, Intervention, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Nature documentaries about crazy sea-dwelling invertabrates, Cold Case Files, American Justice, all the Law and Orders, Ninja Warrior, Colbert Report,
Just a note in the spirit of honesty...
If you're the kind of person who "just [doesn't] get what's so great about The Simpsons", chances are good that I'm the kind of person who's not going to get what's so great about you.
Also, for the record, when I get on Cash Cab and kick all sorts of general knowledge question ass up and down the streets of NYC and Ben Bailey whips around with a giant handful of dough that I can either take and walk away with or bet it all, I'm definitely going double or nothing on the video bonus question.

Books:

Generalities - true crime, criminal profiling, home improvement (new house, sudden new interest in how to install sinks), dictionaries and books about language, james dean biographies

Specifics: The Little Prince - Antione de St. Euxpery, The Tao of Pooh - Benjamin Hoff, Still Life With Woodpecker - Tom Robbins, The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison , Animal Dreams - Barbara Kingsolver, To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee, The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls - Joan Brumberg, Our Guys - Bernard Lefkowitz, Cruel Shoes - Steve Martin

The truth: I mostly read magazines, newspapers and stuff on the interweb. Voraciously.

Heroes:

I will not attack your doctrines nor your creeds if they accord liberty to me. If they hold thought to be dangerous - if they aver that doubt is a crime, then I attack them one and all, because they enslave the minds of men.
Robert Ingersoll

Men become civilized not in proportion to their willingness to believe but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
H. L. Mencken

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot.
Mark Twain

In times of profound change, the learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
Eric Hoffer

I understand that fear is my friend, but not always. Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.
Hunter S. Thompson

My Blog

Movies/DVDs January 2007

Maybe as I go these will be in order either of when I saw them or alphabetically by title. For right now I'm just writing them down.Fargo - hadn't seen it in years. nice reminder of why i own it. s...
Posted by Clarebert on Sat, 03 Feb 2007 11:04:00 PST

Brokeback Clare - The further adventures of Gimpy Larue.

(I wrote this after a medicinally induced 3 hour super groggy nap, so just sort of relax your eyes a little and hopefully it'll make some version of sense.)Ladies and gentleman we have ourselves a def...
Posted by Clarebert on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 06:10:00 PST

My Sister - Now with 100% More Oscar Nominations

ohmygod ohymygod OHMYGOD!!!Little Miss Sunshine got a bunch of Oscar nominations including BEST PICTURE. BEST PICTURE!!! Holy crapola!I'm all gimpy right now, but I've been skipping around giggling an...
Posted by Clarebert on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 08:31:00 PST

"Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy."

Full text of speech made 8/28/63...
Posted by Clarebert on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 08:37:00 PST

Out with the old beesnatchas.

2006 - I made it out alive!!!!IN 2006 DID YOU:Fall in love with someone that was just a friend: Fell totally out of love with someone who I should never have counted as a friend. Fall in love at all: ...
Posted by Clarebert on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 05:28:00 PST

Fourteen Reasons

WARNING: Romantic Stuff to FollowFourteen reasons I love Edward. One for every year we've spent New Year's Eve together.1993 - because the night we met he let me sleep on his sofa, tucked me in with ...
Posted by Clarebert on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 10:33:00 PST

There was really nothing to it. I just went and cut right through it.

Sometimes it's good to remind each other of the basic fundamentals. The gender specificity might be applicable, but not a requirement for making the point.I understand what makes a woman think that an...
Posted by Clarebert on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 05:10:00 PST

Giving Thanks 2006

I have so much to be thankful for this year.My 2006 list in no particular order...I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for my family, biological and hand-picked. I'm thankful for Edward. In more way...
Posted by Clarebert on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 11:55:00 PST