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Mark

markbarrowcliffe

About Me

Mark Barrowcliffe, Author. Latest book is The Elfish Gene, Dungeons, Dragons and Growing Up Strange. It's about my youth during which all I did was play role playing games. Have written three books before this - Girlfriend 44, Infidelity For First Time Fathers and Lucky Dog. Currently working on second volume of autobiography and a film script.

My Interests

Football (in goal, the fat man's burden), fencing (yeah, well I grew up with D&D, didn't I?) motorcycling, though only as a spectator nowadays. Enjoy walking dog and self aggrandisement. In a band, on Myspace under The Rubbish. Normal comments on music are 'great lyrics', which is code for 'bad singer' and 'brilliant viola', which is code for 'bad singer'. I am that singer.

I'd like to meet:

The man who had the bright idea 'Bob Wilson, anchor man'.

Music:

Too much to list but Smiths, early Bowie and Half Man Half Biscuit would be top of the list. And the Clash. And The Sex Pistols. Mozart's OK. Stone Roses would have to be in there. I have a soft spot for The Carpenters, and I love that story of how she was discovered. The saxophone player quit the band just as they were about to record but Karen and Richard decided to use up the studio time anyway. 'Who's going to sing?' said the engineer. 'Karen can can sing a bit, can't you Karen?' said Richard. 'Well, I'll give it a go, if there's no one else who wants to do it,' said Karen. Joy Division still do it for me, although I do suspect that one day I'll just start laughing during Day of Lords. It hasn't happened yet but I think it might. Oh, and Killing Joke, of course. If you haven't seen them live then, er, well you might like to. It is difficult not to laugh at Jaz Coleman's face paint, or more alarmingly his trousers which are the sort of track suit bottoms most men keep for doing out the garage, but it's worth the effort. The music is still great.

Movies:

Torn between naming a load of French arthouse in order to look sophisticated and saying 'Porkies IV' in order to look down to earth. Battle of Britain (first film I saw), This Is Spinal Tap, Withnail and I, Godfather, Raging Bull, The Sweet Smell of Success, Room at the Top, Annie Hall and, a selection that makes me think I might be gay, Bell, Book and Candle. Tempted to give long list of rubbish ones but still harbour ambitions in film industry so better not.

Television:

Hancock's Half Hour, One Foot In The Grave, Fawlty Towers, The Simpsons, Larry Sanders, The Office, Peep Show, 29 Storeys, Frasier. Hate the idea of Friends, which I always think is cosy rubbish and then end up laughing my socks off when I watch it. I'm the man who didn't like Seinfeld, yup the only one. Maybe I haven't watched it enough. I love Curb Your Enthusiasm, though. Don't watch much serious TV. Ray Mears is good but I reckon, looking at the size of him, that he lives off more than lichen and moss. Since having new baby have developed late night addiction to World's Wildest Police Chases with Sheriff John Bunnel. The man's a star.

Books:

Too many to list. Off the top of my head and remembering that the last time I did this the page expired and I had to type the whole profile again: PG Wodehouse (greatest comic stylist) Oscar Wilde (not as good as PG but still brilliant) Martin Amis (it's a cliche for a male author to quote him as an influence but he is, so I can't do anything about it. Much better when he sticks to the jokes. Attempts at moving outside of romantic comedy comfort zone have been mixed.) Ian McKewan (I love the first three quarters of each of the novels I've read.) VS Naipaul Nabakov - Once tried to do novel along lines of Pale Fire. Not as easy as it looks and it doesn't look easy. Jane Austen. Once ran a course with people who didn't know she was funny. Bizarre. Theodore Zeldin, always makes me think, which is quite a feat. Philip Larkin. Another Cov kid, which I believe was how he always introduced himself. Bret Easton Ellis. Damon Runyon. Arthur Conan Doyle. Alan Bennett, John Hegley, John Irving, Jonathon Coe, Muriel Spark (Prime of Miss Jean Brodie being just about perfect) Anne Tyler, George Orwell, Paul Heathorn, Anthony Burgess. I'm sure I've forgotten lots of people who should be on this list.When I was younger I was really into fantasy. I don't think much of it survives the test of time but Ursula Le Guin's Earthsea series is good and Tolkein's The Hobbit is brilliant, better than Lord of the Rings in my opinion.

Heroes:

Winston Churchill, just for the amount he got into one life. Soldier, journalist, painter, bricklayer, saver of world, winner of Nobel prize for literature, top fencer. And, of course, all this against the backdrop of some serious drinking. Just reading his biographies makes you sweat with the thought of your own inaction. I tell my wife I haven't done the decorating because 'I haven't had time'. I suppose if Churchill found time for bricklaying then I can do a bit of DIY myself. I bet he didn't have Sheriff John Bunnel competing for his attention in the early hours, though. Douglas Bader. Lost legs in aerobatics accident, recorded simply the words 'bad show' in log. Still went on to down 23.5 enemy aircraft in WWII. An example to modern men. Do you think he would have cried on getting knocked out of the World Cup? He would not. He probably wouldn't have been in it with no legs but he couldn't have played any worse than David Beckham. In a lesser way PG Wodehouse, Gianfranco Zola, Valentino Rossi, Steven Morrissey and, predictable though it is, Muhammad Ali.

My Blog

Nowt really

Hello all Been waiting for replies on my film script, so quite nervous right now. I've done a martial arts comedy but the sort of marital arts that happens in Scout huts rather than Shaolin Temples. ...
Posted by Mark on Thu, 22 Nov 2007 03:44:00 PST

Tears of a twit

Here's my latest Times article. Slightly more tasteful than the last one, which seemed to leave people a little non plussed, though it got some very good responses in the press. Anyway, this one could...
Posted by Mark on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:56:00 PST

Full unedited Times article - hold on to your hats.

Here's the full Times article. Not one of my proudest moments, this, but I hope I've written honestly about it.   My granddad always used to say that my generation needed a war, implying that it ...
Posted by Mark on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 05:59:00 PST

Sorry for awful silence

Working ridiculously hard. Actually painful to type right now. All will be revealed shortly. I'll also stick up my new Elfish Gene cover, for the paperback. Writing horror novel. Oh yes, I am. M...
Posted by Mark on Fri, 21 Sep 2007 04:57:00 PST

Passport to hell

I never understood how anyone could become so frustrated with something that they would stand outside an embassy, cover themselves in petrol and apply the Zippo. Now I do. The reason - I have just bee...
Posted by Mark on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:55:00 PST

I am not going to commit suicide

I have just found out my wife is taking out life insurance on me. I'm a dead man. I record here and now that I have no intention of killing myself, performing dangerous sports or driving stupidly. I n...
Posted by Mark on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 12:40:00 PST

What I've been up to

Just accidentally deleted my whole blog. What did I touch, what happened? Anyway thanks again for all the birthday greetings, much appreciated. Up to neck in editing latest work - more autobiography. ...
Posted by Mark on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 02:52:00 PST

Thanks for birthday wishes

Just a quick blog to say thanks to all for the birthday wishes. I am 43, which sounds less like an age than a diagnosis. 'I'm sorry, Mr Barrowcliffe, you have 43. There is nothing we can do for you.' ...
Posted by Mark on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 10:02:00 PST

Some good news

Just heard that the production company 2929, a New York set up that did Good Night and Good Luck and Farenheit 9/11, among other things, have got a final script for Infidelity For First Time Fathers, ...
Posted by Mark on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 01:53:00 PST

Some good news

Just heard that the production company 2929, a New York set up that did Good Night and Good Luck and Farenheit 9/11, among other things, have got a final script for Infidelity For First Time Fathers, ...
Posted by Mark on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 01:53:00 PST