Jamie profile picture

Jamie

When you build a city on rock and roll, you have to expect some urban planning difficulties.

About Me

By day, I write words and occasionally even string them together to form complete sentences. By night I spend most of my time debating about how to trick out my lab coat. Right now it could fit a man twice my size with a hyperactive thyroid condition -- I've even found myself envying the lab tech, he has a paper coat with pictures of the organs screenprinted on the front like a geektastic version of the tuxedo tee-shirt. I'm thinking maybe adding like a patent leather belt and taking in the sides, to give it that "steril and sassy" feel that's so en vouge right now...or maybe just a fancy triangle hanky to stick out of the pocket. Either way, I'm pretty sure gold lame' will be involved.---My rollerskates are magical, my kittens are trained in martial arts, my clothes are fluffy, my future giant periodic table will be the envy of my peer group (you should see the space alloted for Boron), I have enslaved a robot to clean my floors, I use a sliderule whenever possible, I have a file in my desk for snacks (but they are not alphabetical).

My Interests

Themed-gatherings, extreme matching especially with Dominic, fogged-up lab goggles, robots, cupcakes, training my kittens to prepare (basic) appetizers, fancy ladies, So Like Yeah Magazine, new toothbrushes, puns, hayrides, and of course, 26's bitch.

I'd like to meet:

Ann Druyan, but at a Tupperware party.

Music:

It's gotta have the shimmy AND the shake

Movies:

The kind you only kinda watch at the drive in...with someone cuddly.

Television:

"No, I haven't seen that commercial with the cartoon version of the chimpanzee dancing with the mop... but Ive been meaning to catch it. Oh, really? It's usually .. that reality TV show about homeschoolers who have to attend prom? How interesting, and you say an underground band from the nineties is playing in the background, how strange. I'll have to make a point of seeing it. Is it better than the commercial you told me about last week where the sailor floated all the way to the coast of Maine in a can of tunafish while Bjork sang? "

Books:

Only the most hard-hitting literature. STAR magazine, Weekly World News (may it rest in peace), So Like Yeah horoscopes; you know, whatever the intellectuals are reading.

Heroes:

My great grandmother can beat up your great grandmother.