I love my life, even when it's not everything I think it should be. Life is how you see it. I'm not happy and I'm not sad. But, I am sick of all of it. Tired of the pissed off people, tired of the hate, tired of being poor, tired of trying so hard all the time. I just want life to be life. I'm not mad and I'm not crazy. I just have this crazy idea that life should be enjoyed. Life is what it is. I've been put through the meat grinder, but it's made me more flexible. I want to write more. My book is a good start, but I want to do more. (The Title? The Fake Saint, The True Confessions and Testament of a Justified Sinner) I want to travel more, to be more, to always do more. I don't sleep much and I hate the fact that my body needs 4 hours of sleep a night. It's a waste. Dreams are important, but I would rather be watching a movie or reading a book. I'm a recovering TV/Movie addict. I do watch SNL and some DVD's, but not often. I love my two kids more than I can say. I will die with both of my hands untied. I used to be angry, but I got over it. I'm working on a book right now. It's not done, as it's just a first draft, but I love my flawed book. It's not a great book, but it's like me, a work in progress. I used to be fat and I have issues with food. Mostly, I love food way too much. I have to rein myself in, to control my eating. I like to cook and I like to drink while I cook and play music and sing. It's like a party. I'm a fair cook: not great and not terrible either. I'm the oldest of 5 kids and all of us get along really well, now. When we were younger, we used to fight, but that's normal. Everyone seems really great until you have to live with them. I was a teacher in China and I long to return to China. I LOVE China. I love the food, I love the people and I love the crowds. I went back recently and I can't wait to return. I want to live there and work in China. I would take long walks, getting lost and walking for miles and miles in Tianjin. I had my first "real" Winter there. I grew up in San Diego and knew nothing of the hard cold. I'm dreaming of jumping on a plane and going someplace, anyplace. The days all melt into weeks and it all becomes the rest of your life and I can't ever stop it from moving forward, ever. And soon, you and me and everyone will be a memory and soon after that, we won't even be a memory. A vapor, an elusive ghost that will leave no mark on The Universe. While it is in your power, do what is right, do what is good and just. It's hard. I get my ass kicked all the time for it. Not actually getting beat up, but getting shit on for doing what's right. AND I'm happy for it. I do things not because it's popular or because I want to be loved (Although, I do desire that, just like anyone else) but I do what I do because it's the right thing to do. I could squander my brief time on Earth and for what? I don't believe that God put me on the Earth, in this wonderful life so I could piss it away, doing evil or (just as bad) doing nothing. I cannot guess what everyone will think of me and my writting. And that's fine. I just want the world to know that I have not given in, that I'm not going to roll over and allow myself to be controlled. It often makes things hard, but that's life. And I love it. I love that my life is hard, because it's my choice. I have a lame job and My last job was lame and every job I've ever had has been a waste of my time, but it was for a reason. I was put there because I had to meet people that had a big effect on my life. I had to suffer to make myself stronger. I long to be held close and to sleep, because I can't sleep. Is that a sign of mental illness? I don't know and I don't care, anymore. I do care, but not about that.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Rene
Birthday: May 1st
Birthplace: An Air Force base in Laredo, Texas
Current Location: Austin, Texas
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5' 7"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Left, but forced to use my right in Kindergarden
Your Heritage: A mix of Spanish and Native American
The Shoes You Wore Today: Converse High Tops, Black
Your Weakness: Crown Royal Whisky
Your Fears: Needles
Your Perfect Pizza: Light Cheese, lots of onions and green pepers
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To write more, to write better
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I have no idea
Thoughts First Waking Up: I need to get more sleep
Your Best Physical Feature: My eyes
Your Bedtime: 3:00 AM
Your Most Missed Memory: I'm afraid I don't know
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: It's actually MC Donald's. I love that fake fish sandwich
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea, with sugar
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither
Do you Smoke: Nope!
Do you Swear: Fuck yea, I do.
Do you Sing: YES! And I'm not ashamed to say I'm not good, but I enjoy it!
Do you Shower Daily: Indeed, I do.
Have you Been in Love: Too many times.
Do you want to go to College: Not any more. I already went.
Do you want to get Married: I already did that.
Do you belive in yourself: Most of the time.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yes, very easy.
Do you think you are Attractive: on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the best), I'm a 7.
Are you a Health Freak: No, but I try to not eat so much junk.
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes, I love them both very much.
Do you like Thunderstorms: I do! I love a rainy night, to quote Eddie Rabbit.
Do you play an Instrument: I am a dedicated drummer. Not great, but not bad.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I sure did and I enjoyed it a great deal.
In the past month have you Smoked: I've never smoked
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I've never done drugs.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: NO
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: NO
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: NO
In the past month have you been Dumped: NO
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: NO
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: NO
Ever been Drunk: Lots and lots of times.
Ever been called a Tease: Never.
Ever been Beaten up: When i was a young lad, all the time.
Ever Shoplifted: Yea, when I was young and angry.
How do you want to Die: Saving someone, so it's not a total waste.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I wanted to be an Astronaut or a Doctor
What country would you most like to Visit: That's a tough one, but I'm going to say Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: brown
Favourite Hair Color: black
Short or Long Hair: mid lengh
Height: I really don't care
Weight: Not too big, not too thin
Best Clothing Style: A nurses outfit. The old school kind with white stockings. YIKES!
Number of Drugs I have taken: 0
Number of CDs I own: More than I can count
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 7
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
