AMERICAN DREAMIN’ |
If 2pac gets around. I guess I go to town.Killer caldians. Top shelf posteriors. Cigarette smoke, cough and choke.Mini skirt's, stiletto's, lip-gloss, and smiles.Comfort Inn sleep. Sharing bed bugs wi...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 10:57:00 PST |
AINT NO LOVE IN THE HEART OF THE CITY. AINT NO LOVE IN THE HEART OF TOWN... |
So can we get back to living dreams?Reality is too sick. Let me tell you about the night I tried to take my life.Let me speak about my last kiss.. Your friend spoke up first. Truth hurts. I stood up a...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 02:25:00 PST |
JOSH ACCARDO UNCUT!!!! |
I have placed a new video in my video section. It was filmed in a bootleg fashion at the Comedy Store during my lasy trip to California about month ago.Check it out. It's 20 minutes and at the 17 min...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 12:10:00 PST |
NOSE TO THE GRIND STONE..HEAD TO THE STARS.. WHEN ALL YOU GOT IS DOUBT. |
20 melatonin and now I'm yawning& My belly feels like a balloon full of piss. Never play white people in beer pong.Shed tears on 93rd and 3rd& Staring at slides and swings, reminded of the kid that ne...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 10:04:00 PST |
L. Bangs and The C.T.Pimp |
Used to be suicidal& Then I realized that I was OCD. Every time I thought about killing myself I would get obsessed with planning my funeral. What song should they play? How should they dress me? Bas...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:02:00 PST |
CURTIS MAYFIELD. |
So what if Curtis Mayfield voice made me believe in God again.Maybe I can be saved. Maybe we all can be saved.Do you think Tarzan ever rubbed his dick against rough bark while swinging from trees, and...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 11:37:00 PST |
IT’S NOT FAR DOWN TO PARADISE. |
Like brown paper sack lunches with your name on them. Dig your hand deep past the Doritos and over the peanut butter and jelly and find the shark tale fruit snacks.Like Christmas morning waking up ear...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Wed, 22 Aug 2007 09:46:00 PST |
TAKES SKILL TO BE REAL.. skydive part 2. Emotions from a state of apathy. |
Front flipped out of the plane and plummeted to earth at 120 mph."So buddy your nervous?""No sir.""Yeah right."Strapped me in, he was hung over too. "Pull these straps tight and make sure you keep you...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Mon, 13 Aug 2007 04:25:00 PST |
GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM... |
I knew a guy who lived in a 24-ounce beer can.Making love in the middle of the day on a Tuesday is the ultimate example of having life by the balls. It shows that while society is working you can affo...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 10:16:00 PST |
not pretty enough. |
You see most pretty things are ugly on the inside.So stay clear of those who feel the need to roll in the crowd. They fear their own solitude. Fear what truth may surface while spending time with onl...
Posted by Josh "CTP" Accardo (Stand Up Comic) on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 01:04:00 PST |
