Chris profile picture

Chris

Does my mum look big in this?

About Me

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i'm Chris, i'm 6 foot something, 3 or 4, i haven't checked in ages, I play guitar, i work in a guitar shop in Jersey, Channel Islands which is OK. I like to wear clothes during the day and slip into my lingerie on the evening so i can watch Emmerdale in comfort, i don't smoke but i am partial to the odd tipple at many fine breweries and clubs now and again. I am not guilty of doing the funky chicken but i have funky gibbon'd with the best of them in my time, oooh yes...i can tell u that one for nothing sonny jim.
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Primus - The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Get your cowboy boots on and get ready for an old fashioned ho-down! Air fiddle is also mandatory!
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Comedy gold you mentalists, comedy gold!
This is a clip from my favourite comedy show 'Peep Show'. Meet Mark and Jeremy. Mark's the sensible one, a professional brogue-wearer with a slightly disconcerting interest in World War Two. Jeremy is the loose cannon, a lazy waster with dodgy friends who dreams of becoming a musician but can never get his act together (or up in the morning). It is a very underrated programme for some strange reason but I urge anyone to watch it!
My Likes:
Crisps, Pizza, TV, Cinema, Music, Guitar, Drums, Bass, People who can play piano, books, chewing gum, alan keys, plectrums, phones, comedy, girls, ARSE! FECK! DVD's, CD's, sweatbands, B-movies, lava lamps, radiators, money, spending money, shoes, earbuds, MSN, violent wrestling, sleeping, sitting around, McDonalds, sandwiches, Dan Akroyd, walking home, working with different people everyday, driving around with my friends, dancing in Woolworths, dancing randomly anywhere, throwing leftover food at friends, alcohol, bus timetables, low A, playstation, mega drive! old school everything, 80's haircuts, 70's pornstars, deodorant, Jimmy Saville, midgets, chinese takeaway, screwdrivers, soft pillows, turkey dinosaurs, beach parties in the summer, swimming in the rain, mosh pits, camping, drinking heavily before noon, doc martens, band tshirts, suntan lotion, jacuzzi's, the bohemian lifestyle, randomness, Danny DeVito's height.
Dislikes:
Lefthanded people, Gingers, unjustified racism, rich tea biscuits, brocolli, joan rivers, ruby wax, lion king 2 and all other unnecessary disney sequels, prequels and spin offs, crowded buses, angry chavs, angry drunks, patronising arseholes, bovril, mental drivers, shit films, shit music, shit, smelly people, bins in summer, fat people in swimwear, fat people, The Queen tribute band with everyone except Freddie, Paul Rogers, My grandads collection of brown mugs, old fossils, rare corks and crap hats, cyprus memerobilia, chess, bananas that are too ripe or too old, women with beards or any facial hair, tatoos from a book (nice imagination), terrorists, terrorists videos, Typically Norman, Computer geeks, traffic wardens, greedy pigeons, beige cardigans, those ballet shoes that girls wear that are supposedly in fashion, people who wear clothes to be 'in fashion' and not to just express themselves, falling bricks, scorpions, The Scorpions, Blink 182, having no credit, having low battery on my phone, people throwing crap in cinemas, loud yet boring people, people who have illusions of grandieur, slow old people who talk quietly and are hard of hearing but tell you off for not 'listening' or understanding! genocide, Schindler's List, cricket, rich people's children, paper bags, bad teeth, scroungers, cancer, impatient bus drivers, those people that phone you trying to offer you phone deals when they have only just grasped basic english, berets, sand in between me toes, cloudy days in the summer, Q V FUCKING C!
Lenore comics are great! There are a lot better and darker ones than this but they are all very twisted..which is nice.
I Love Invader Zim!!!!
Which Mighty Boosh Character Are You?
You are Vince Noir!Rock and Roll Star! So good-looking that monkeys want your face, and so cool that everyone wants to be you. Admirer of Colobos the Crab and connoisseur of the bizarre pleasures in life. Rock on!
Take this quiz !
Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Your Personality Is Like Marijuana
You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you!
Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down.
You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly. What Drug Is Your Personality Like?
You Are Ernie
Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.
You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained
You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.
How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you! The Sesame Street Personality Quiz
Your Band Name is:
The Furious Tangerines Band Name Generator
Your Famous Last Words Will Be:
"Nice doggy." What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?
Your Pimp Name Is...
Maestro Dazzle What's Your Pimp Name?
You Are 62% Evil
You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot. How Evil Are You?
You Are 80% Open Minded
You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.
You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.
You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself. How Open Minded Are You?
Your 1920's Name is:
Pierce Farris What's Your 1920's Name?
You are 27% Cancer
How Cancer Are You?

My Interests

Music is my life, my favourite genre is metal but I am open minded to all genres. I'm not a very sporty person but I would like to be..someday. I love a lot of films varying from the classics to films that everyone hates but they still make me laugh. I love things that remind me of my childhood or things that were popular in the 80's when i was a kid. I like to browse through the internet on my laptop and find new things that I might like like new strange kinds of music or films or any animations. I have a high appreciation for art but I see a lot of things in life as art. I am just starting to get into anime/Manga and I love Japanese culture and the style. I don't play any computer games but still hold a fond place in my heart for the Sega Mega Drive even though lots of people think its lame in comparison to newer games I still love the gameplay, graphics have never meant a lot to me when it comes to games, its all about te gameplay and the characters or the story. I have a dark sense of humour so i like a lot of dark comedies, films and cartoons. I used to watch a lot of wrestling, not too much nowadays because its a bit shit but I think it can be a good form of entertainment if you don't take it too seriously.

I'd like to meet:


Devin Townsend from Strapping Young Lad

Leatherface - Yeah sure he looks a bit mean and a tad scary but I'm sure that after a bit of TLC and a cup of tea he'd be a sound guy, maybe a couple of games of scrabble would open up his sensitive side, or maybe he's a connect 4 kinda guy...

Mick Foley - This guy is a legend, he's been in some of the most brutal wrestling matches I've ever seen, it's actually quite amazing how he's still alive! He's been in matches with barb wire ropes, C4 explosives in the ring and even been thrown onto an announcers table from 30 feet high! He's lost a lot of blood, quite a few teeth an half his ear too!

Music:

-(hed) pe
- 10 years
- 10cc
- 1349
- 3 Doors Down
- 36 Crazyfists
- The 5, 6, 7, 8's
- A Perfect Circle
- A18
- Aborted
- Absu
- Accept
- ACDC
- Acoustic Ladyland
- Aerosmith
- AFI
- Agarophobic Nosebleed
- Agnostic Front
- The Agony Scene
- AIDS Wolf
- AIR
- Akercocke
- Alexisonfire

- Alice In Chains
- Alien Ant Farm
- Alkaline Trio
- All Shall Perish
- Altered Tensions
- American Head Charge
- Amon Amarth
- An Albatross
- Anal Cunt
- Anathema
- Andrew WK
- Angra
- Annihilator
- Anthrax
- Antony & The Johnsons
- The Apathy Syndrome
- Aphex Twin

- Apocalyptica

- Arch Enemy
- Architects
- Arcturus
- Arsis
- Art Brut
- At The Drive In
- At The Gates
- Atari Teenage Riot
- Atreyu
- Auf Der Maur
- Aura Noir
- Avenged Sevenfold
- Avulsed
- Bad Brains
- Bad Religion
- Badly Drawn Boy
- Baghead
- Bal Sagoth
- Bathory
- Batmobile
- Beach Boys
- Bearsuit
- The Beatles
- Beck
- Behemoth
- Behold...The Arctopus
- Ben Folds Five
- Ben Harper
- Beneath The Massacre
- The Bezerker
- Best Wishes
- Biffy Clyro
- Biohazard
- Birthday Party
- Black Dahlia Murder
- Black Flag

- Black Label Society

- Black Sabbath
- Blasphemy
- Blind Guardian
- Blind Melon
- Blue Rodeo
- Blur
- Bolt Thrower
- Bubblemath
- Bucket Full Of Teeth
- Buffalo Springfield
- Bull Dozer
- Burzum
- Cacophany
- Caliban
- Candlemass
- Candles
- Cannae
- Captain Beefheart
- Caravan

- Carcass
- Carnival In Coal
- Cathedral
- Cattle Decapitation
- Celtic Frost
- Cephalic Carnage

- Children Of Bodom

- Chimaira
- Chopin
- CKY
- Clutch
- Coal Chamber
- Combichrist
- Converge
- Corrosion Of Conformity
- Cradle Of Filth
- Crowbar
- Cryogen

- Cryptopsy
- Cult Of Luna
- Cynic
- Cypress Hill
- Daath
- Damageplan
- Damien Rice
- Danny Elfman
- Dark Tranquility
- Darkane
- Daughters
- David Bowie

- Dead Kennedys
- The Deadfly Ensemble

- Death
- Debussy
- Decapitated
- Deftones
- Deicide
- Del Amitri
- Del The Funky Homosapien
- Demiricous
- Demons and Wizards
- Destruction
- Devil Driver
- Devin Townsend Band
- Dew Scented

- Dick Dale & His Del Tones

- Dillinger Escape Plan
- Dimension Zero
- Dimmu Borgir
- Dinosaur Jr
- Dir En Grey
- Disgorge
- Disturbed
- DJ shadow
- DOA
- Donovan
- The Doors
- Down
- Downthesun
- Dr Dre
- Dragonforce

- Dream Theater
- Dresden Dolls
- Dropkick Murphys
- Drowning Pool
- Dry Kill Logic
- Duran Duran
- Dutoit
- Dvorak
- Dying Fetus
- Dysrhythmia
- Echo & The Bunnymen
- Eighteen Visions
- Elliott Smith

- Emperor
- Entombed
- Ephel Duath
- Era

- Estradasphere
- Everytime I Die
- Evil Incarnate
- Excrementory Grindfuckers
- Exhibit A
- Exhumed
- Exodus
- Extreme
- EyeHateGod
- Eyes Of Fire
- Fairport Convention
- Faith No More
- Fantomas

- Fear Factory
- Final Sigh
- Finntroll
- Fiona Apple
- Fischerspooner
- Flesh Field
- Flogging Molly
- Foo fighters

- Frank Sinatra
- Frank Zappa
- From A Second Story Window
- Fu Manchu
- Fuel
- Fugazi
- Gary Jules
- Genesis
- George Baker
- God Forbid
- Godsmack
- Gojira
- Jose Gonzales
- Green Day
- Groove Armada
- Guns 'N' Roses
- Guttermouth
- Gutworm
- Hammerfall
- Hate Eternal
- Hatebreed
- The Haunted
- Heaven shall Burn
- Hellhammer
- Helmet
- Henry Rollins
- Himsa
- Hollow Flame
- Holy Moses
- Horrorpops
- House Of Pain
- Huey Lewis & The News
- Hypocrisy
- Iced Earth
- Ihsahn
- Ill Nino
- Impaled Nazarene
- Impetigo

- In Flames
- Incubus
- Infected Mushrooms
- Iron Butterfly
- Iron Maiden

- Jack Johnson
- Jackson 5
- Janes Addiction
- Jason Webley
- Jazz Pistols
- Jeff Buckley
- Jefferson Airplane
- Jethro Tull

- Jimi Hendrix
- Jimmy Eat World
- Job For A Cowboy

- Joe Satriani

- Johnny Cash
- Judas Priest
- Kataklysm
- Katatonia
- Keep Of Kalessin
- Kill 2 This
- Killswitch Engage

- Kittie
- KMFDM
- The Knack
- Korn
- Kreator
- Krisiun

- Kyuss
- Labrat
- Lacuna Coil
- Lagwagon

- Lamb Of God
- Lecherous Nocturne
- Led Zepellin
- Lemon Jelly
- Lenny Kravitz
- Less Than Jake
- Lighting Bolt
- Liquid Tension Experiment
- The Locust
- Lydia Lunch

- Machine Head
- Madball

- Mad Capsule Markets
- Madness
- Malevolent Creation
- Malkovich
- Manowar
- Marilyn Manson
- Mars Volta

- Mastodon
- Mayhem

- Megadeth
- Melt Banana
- The Melvins
- Mercyful Fate

- Meshuggah
- Metallica
- The Meteors
- Michael Andrews
- Michael Jackson
- Millencolin
- Mindless Self Indulgence
- Ministry
- Minor Threat
- Moby
- Morbid Angel
- Most Precious Blood
- Motley Crue
- Motorhead
- Mr. Bungle
- Mudvayne
- Muse
- Mushroomhead
- My Bloody Valentine
- My Dying Bride
- My Ruin
- Napalm Death
- Nattefrost
- Necrophagist
- Nekromantix
- Nemain
- Nevermore
- Nik Kershaw

- Nile
- Nine Inch Nails
- Nirvana
- NOFX
- Noisekick
- Novembre
- Nuclear Assault
- Nuclear Rabbit

- Obituary
- One Minute Silence

- Opeth
- Overkill
- Ozzy Osbourne
- Painkiller

- Pantera
- Parkway Drive
- Pearl Jam
- Pelican
- Pennywise
- Pestilence

- John Petrucci
- Pharcyde
- Pig Destroyer
- Pink Floyd
- Pistola
- Pixies
- Placebo
- The Pogues
- Porcupine Tree
- Presidents Of The USA
- Primal Fear
- Primus
- Prodigy
- Queen Adreena
- Queens Of the Stone Age
- Racer X
- Radiohead
- Raconteurs
- Rage Against the Machine
- Raging Speedhorn
- Ramallah
- Rammstein
- Rancid
- Red Hot Chilli Peppers
- Regina Spektor
- Repulsion
- Rhapsody
- Roadrunner United
- Robot Ninja Dinosaur Bastards
- Robots In Disguise
- RSJ
- Rusty Cooley
- Saliva
- Samael
- Sarcofago
- Saskrotch
- Satyricon
- Scarlet
- Scissorfight
- Screaming Mechanical Brain
- Secret Chiefs 3
- Seether

- Sepultura
- Shadows Fall
- Sheryl Crow
- Sick Of It All
- Sigh

- Sikth
- Silverchair
- Simon & Garfunkel
- Sinai Beach
- Six Feet Under
- Skindred
- Skinlab
- Skinny Puppy
- Slayer
- Slipknot
- Smashing Pumpkins
- Smut Peddlers
- Social Distortion
- Sodom
- Soggy Bottom Boys
- Soil
- Soilwork
- Sonic Youth
- Soulfly
- Soundgarden
- Sparta
- The Specials
- Spineshank
- Spiral Architecht
- Squeeze
- Staind
- Stanley Clarke
- Stanley Jordan
- Static X
- Steve Vai
- Stone Sour
- The Stranglers
- Strapping Young Lad
- Stratovarius
- Strawberry Alarm Clock
- Stryper
- Sublime
- Suffocation
- Suicidal Tendencies
- Sunna
- Sunno)))
- Superjoint Ritual
- Suspyre
- Symphony X
- System Of A Down
- Taproot
- Tears For Fears
- Ted Nugent
- Terror
- Testament
- Textures
- Therion
- Threat Signal
- Throwdown
- Tom Waits
- The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza

- Tool
- The Tormentor
- Trans-Siberian Orchestra
- Trivium
- TSOL
- Turbonegro
- Twisted Sister
- Unearth
- Unsane
- Urge Overkill
- Vader
- Van Halen
- Velvet Revolver
- Velvet Underground
- Venetian Snares
- Venom
- Vesperian Sorrow
- Vex Red

- Victor Wooten
- The Virgin Prunes
- Weezer
- The Who

- Will Haven
- William Shatner
- Winnebago Deal
- Winter Solstice
- The Wizard And The Frog
- X Japan
- Xanopticon
- Xanther
- Yngwie Malmsteen
- Zakk Wylde
- Zero 7
- Zimmers Hole
- Zyklon

Television:

Peep Show, Black books, Mighty Boosh, Bottom, Young Ones, Family Guy, Simpsons, Futurama, Headbangers Ball, Shooting Stars, Blackadder, Look Around You, The Office, Ideal, Garth Merenghi's Dark Place, Green wing, You've Been Framed, Beavis And Butthead, Trap Door, House Of Rock. I'm sure there's more than that

Books:

I'm not really a big book reader but the books i do like include Hunter S. Thompson (RIP) - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Rum Diary and Hells Angels. And the other author i like is George Orwell, especially Down and Out in Paris and London. I don't really own too many books but i enjoyed Bill Hicks - 'Love All The People', which consisted of letters, lyrics and routines by the great man whilst he lived and as a kid i loved the Roald Dahl books.

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