The Legend of Chris Vigilante

About Me

I am officially the fastest fat kid in Florida. I have certificates. I once made a pre-opt transexual throw up by talking about used fryer grease and cockroaches. Imagine the irony in that.

I will ramble on for hours about absolutely nothing, and you will enjoy every moment of it.

I'm unable to go an hour without saying "fuck", "goddamn it" or "piss".

I get made fun of for taking showers and wearing button down shirts. I don't really find that insulting, so knock yourself out.

I will turn any and everything into a song. Try me.

I love the taste of hot cream cheese. I don't really know if constantly consuming hot dairy is such a good idea, but then again, shitting blood may actually be entertaining.

I'm on a conquest for a hot sauce that doubles as body wash. It can be done. For all I know, it HAS been done.

Who say's no one's got class anymore?!

My Interests

I'm a fucking asshole.

I'd like to meet:

My future self.
Pumpkinhead (from an extrememly safe distance).
Anyone who owns a unicorn ranch.

Music:

Is my life.

Movies:

How to Make An American Quilt

Television:

Court TV

Books:

Choose Your Own Adventure

Heroes:

Mark my words: I will lick paint off walls like I lick skin off muscle.Not a moment too soon, your head will pop and I will be the popper.I got a new locket for bone dust, and you're ready for a new home.

My Blog

The interactive random.

Time for the interactive random blog! Anything you wish to comment on/answer,simply cite the number of the randomness.If not,I'll probably confuse myself trying to see what you're talking about.I'm an...
Posted by The Curse of the Werewolf on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 08:57:00 PST

NO MORE OF THIS.

Yeah,so,since my space for some reason won't let me add this paragraph to my original "blog",I'll add it to this. No more <3 !!! No more Posted by The Curse of the Werewolf on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Fuck your slang.

This bulletin goes out to no one specific,but at the same time it goes out to everyone.If you feel that this bulletin is directed towards you,than it probably is,and you should cease what you're doing...
Posted by The Curse of the Werewolf on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I've taken WAY too much acid in my life.

I had a dream that I was riding around with two muppet-like creatures (not to impose on copyright infringement),one resembling Grover and the other a redneck looking Miss Piggy humanoid.Now these "mup...
Posted by The Curse of the Werewolf on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST