Minion Ashtaroth, Secretary of Offense

MyGen Profile Generator
Think for yourself, question authority...Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are or where we're going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities... the political, the religious, the educational... authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us... Order, Rules, Regulations... informing... forming in our minds, their view of reality. To think for yourself, you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable openmindedness. Chaotic, confused,vulnerability... to inform yourself............ Think for yourself, question authority
Before I start this I need to state one rule. If you want to add me and you have a private profile or your profile says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL, you need to send me a message giving me some basic description of yourself and a good reason why I should add you. I don't mind ignoring/denying add requests if you don't just do me that small favor. Note that most of what you see on his is basically satyrical and a decent amount of adult oriented stuff is stated on here. I don't recommend that people under 18 view this. There, I warned you. Now then, if you really want to know me, just ask.Yes, I do work for the Prince of Darkness. Just recently I was granted the title of Hell's Secretary of Offense. Basically this makes me a liason to the minions when Satan is too busy to keep pace and also charges me with keeping the overly self-righteous Christians from causing too much trouble. But really the guy (Satan) isn't that bad...figuratively. Hell is a pretty kick ass place to be. Lots of fun activites, rides, and restaurants. Plus some of the finest hotels and apartment buildings in all of creation. Check out the view from my summer apartment.
Here you see the main entrance. I know, it looks evil but it's really just to keep Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses away. Also those door to door salesmen. Nowhere in the universe is safe from them...except Hell (we only let them in to torture them).
And for those of you who wonder what it's like to actually be in the process of going to Hell, here's the whole ordeal. This is referred to as the Damnation Express.
Here's a link to Satan's myspace page. The page itself is part of an outreach program that Hell has been putting on. So go to hell, because you'll end up there anyway.
The device below is a recent invention of mine that is becoming quite popular. I refer to it as the Emo Gun.
As with most demons, it's not the best idea to piss me off. The inhabitants of this world refused to honor the Dark Lord and I was sent in to "creatively alter their opinions".
Unfortunately I overdid it a little.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Ninth Level of Hell - Cocytus!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful) Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Extreme
Level 7 (Violent) Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Extreme
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test