Jules profile picture

Jules

Tangled

About Me


I shall use my considerable photographic talents to portray my assets and interests below. (Some of my assets will remain a secret, to avoid a stampede of perverts.)
A MESSAGE TO THE 'ADD ME WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A HELLO' BRIGADE: I am not going to even contemplate adding you, unless you message me at least once beforehand to tell me a) how radiantly beautiful I am, b) some courageous new political standpoint on an eminent work of literature, or c) a cracking joke.
BANDS: Forget it, unless you're hot, playing London, and putting me on your guestlist for free.

My Interests

I frequently scribble lists of things in notepads and then promptly forget all about them, no matter how urgent.
Small incidents of human misfortune amuse me greatly, e.g. toddlers falling in ponds, businessmen tripping on paving slabs, tourists lurching around on the tube...
I also love: Shopping for 50p vinyls in rural charity shops - enough Barry Manilow there for the entire human race . The sound of the rain falling . Gin & tonics with ice and lime . Strawberry daquiris . Pimms with fresh mint . Clouds . My old-style 35mm SLR . Marzipan . . Cooking (and absolutely anything related to food - try to shut me up once I start discussing it!) . Cheese (especially stinky kinds) . Bella Italia . Travelling . Eurostar . Ranting . Comedy voices . Impromptu picnics in the sunshine . Hilarious parties you don't plan . Winding my friends up . Stripey tops . Silver shoes . Good hair . Dancing . Waterloo Bridge . Knitting . Carbonara . Storms over the sea . Old theatres and ballrooms . Planning the awe-inspiring library I'll build when I'm minted . Evenings of idle chat down the pub . Spontaneity . When the little boy I read with giggles at the word 'bum' . My besties . Daytripping to Brighton . The Englishness of it all...
I do not love: baseball caps . Peanut butter . Suckracks . When knobheads call me Julia: it's Juliet. U2 . Lucozade . Making typos . Imbeciles who walk too slowly on busy streets . Cyclists - can't those mofos see the red light? . That I often interrupt because I am impatient . Being kept waiting but always being late myself . Bits of barley in soup .

I'd like to meet:


Anyone who possesses a modicum of genuine wit and intelligence.

Note to self: Sometimes flippant is right, and sometimes it's just plain impolite.

Music:

Gogol Bordello. Guillemots . The Long Blondes . Arcade Fire . Bloc Party . Brian Jonestown Massacre . Supergrass . The Young Knives . Mystery Jets . The Ramones . Belle & Sebastian . Cat Power . Beth Orton . The Coral . The Editors . The Sonics . The Rolling Stones . Clap Your Hands Say Yeah . Nick Drake . Jeff Buckley . Martha Reeves & the Vandellas . Joni Mitchell . Yeah Yeah Yeahs . Bright Eyes . Detroit Cobras . Beck . Le Tigre . Blondie . David Bowie . Rilo Kiley . Kings of Convenience . Sufjan Stevens . The Greenhornes . Dusty Springfield . Northern Soul . etc.

Movies:

Some Like It Hot . The Apartment . Amelie . The Big Lebowski . Room with a View . The Odd Couple . Une Femme Est Une Femme . The Ladykillers . The Hairdresser's Husband . Etre et Avoir . Royal Tenenbaums . The Station Agent . Spinal Tap/Best in Show/A Mighty Wind . many films by Pedro Almodovar . and anything by Jacques Tati .

Television:

Family Guy . Spaced . The League of Gentlemen . The Mighty Boosh . Reeves and Mortimer . Kath 'n' Kim .

Books:

All-time favourite writers:
Mikhail Bulgakov
Kazuo Ishiguro
Haruki Murakami
George Saunders
Dan Rhodes
Andrey Kurkov
Italo Calvino
Carson McCullers
David Glen Gold
Shirley Jackson
F.Scott Fitzgerald
Wilkie Collins
Jerome K. Jerome
E.M.Forster
H.E.Bates
Kurt Vonnegut
Niccolo Ammaniti
Roald Dahl
I love spooky little books with dark tales and spidery illustrations: Tim Burton, Edward Gorey, et al...

Heroes:

Jan Morris . and:

My Blog

Stole it from the Canuck

Questions courtesy of Scraps, courtesy of some other loser with nothing better to do... Q: Kissed someone on your top friends?A: ('On' my top friends?)  I think I've kissed all the English ones....
Posted by Jules on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 04:38:00 PST

Death and the Penguin(s)

On the way home from Shepherd's Bush on Saturday night, I saw something most unusual.  As the bus chundered through the murky streets of Isleworth, a brightly lit shop window caught my (entirely ...
Posted by Jules on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 06:33:00 PST

Can someone please explain...

Why Yoko Ono wears her specs halfway down her nose?   She was on TV last night, being interviewed, and her glasses perched at half-mast throughout the entire thing, really bothered me. ...
Posted by Jules on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 04:50:00 PST

Two days in, and pens are nearing eyeballs.

This year, I intend to focus on the following: Shanghai Tea Dresses in every shade of the rainbow.  In fact, all dresses, ever.  Jeans are for boys.  And, I need them anyway, because al...
Posted by Jules on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 09:27:00 PST

Our survey says...

A YEAR-END SURVEY LIKE NO OTHER (except all the others, every other year)1.) Where did you ring in 2006?I downed too much fizzy stuff at home about two hours before midnight, with my then-b...
Posted by Jules on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 06:30:00 PST

Frankly, I'm disgusted.

What possesses men to hock up catarrh in public places?  Really.  The soundtrack to my winter has become the repulsive sound of males snorting snot up their windpipes.  There was a...
Posted by Jules on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 05:43:00 PST

The only thing stupider than getting locked OUT of your flat...

... is getting locked IN. That flatmate of mine has much to answer for.  First thing in the morning, eyes barely open, is not the time when I feel most like clambering out of the l...
Posted by Jules on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 05:13:00 PST

Three geeks, a revolving door, and a slippery floor.

This equals possibly the funniest uncoordinated comedy sequence I have ever seen. Earlier this evening, my bus pulled up at the stop outside King's College.  The building is fronted by glass, and...
Posted by Jules on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 04:28:00 PST

The best revenge ever!

Ok, some brief background before you delve into this hilarious Independent article... Two biographers, one subject: namely, the late, great, poet John Betjeman.  The first biographer, Bevis Hill...
Posted by Jules on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 03:56:00 PST

You Know You're From London When...

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know which one.There is only one city that is The City.    You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.Hahaha! Actually I ...
Posted by Jules on Tue, 15 Aug 2006 10:50:00 PST