ADaM - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I love long walks on the beach at sunset, painting tiny ceramic unicorns, rooting for the bad guys in Christmas movies, I sleep in a pressurized altitude tent, and am a master of the meaningless conversation. I've just opened up the first movie extra's acting academy in Los Angeles. We meet every Monday night in the parking lot of the Compton unemployment office; 14th parking space to the left, by the tree. I teach realistic pointing, how to flirt with the 1st AD for your three SAG vouchers, and how to suck up to the caterer so you can take the uneaten food home. I'm currently starring in and directing my OWN bio-pic. It's called "The Tom Cruise Story", even though it's entirely about me, Tom Cruise's name alone sells tickets people, we gotta remember that. It'll be one of those Huge blockbuster holiday epics. We're going low budget on this and I'm shooting it all on camera phone. For a microphone we're using my uncle's old answering machine. The tape was originally only intended to record a 30 second outgoing greeting so we have to make all of our takes short, and really to the point. I'll keep you updated.

My Interests

Playing with my new Hasbro "Home Genetic Mutation Kit", Waterslides, lawndarts, girls, Chuck-E-Cheese, slip-n-slides, carbon paper, lite-bright's, the year 1982, crayons, Zartan and his sister Zaranna, time-travel, shag rugs, using Jesus as my airbag, funny and off beat nationally syndicated radio personalities with a plethora of dwarves and physically challenged people as guests. Is that too silly?

I'd like to meet:

Well to be honest I'd love to meet that guy "Steve" who stole a few checks out of the back of my check book a few years ago, but he's probably in Mexico by now, that rat bastard. He also stole my Milli Vanilli CD? Who the F- steals a Milli Vanilli CD?! WHILE it's playing??? I don't know what's more of a crime actually, him stealing it or me buying it. You know after I walked out of that record store door in 1990 I exclaimed to myself "Yes! I finally got it !!" What was I thinking? So I usually don't talk about that one. Uhh, what was the question?

Music:

,the usual, Zeppelin, Sabbath, David Lee Roth, Prince, Beck, Jack White, Scissor sisters, JFKmart, RATT, Mary Tyler Morphine, Rinocerus,Perry Farrell, Mr. Firley, DriveShaft, Snake and Wheels with The Zit Remedy, Ozzy Osborne.

Movies:

Anything by Paul T. Anderson, Luc Besson, or with Gary Oldman. Help, The King of Comedy (rent it now), SLEEPER (w/Woody Allen), Highlander, The Road Warrior, Beyond Thunderdome, Breakin'2:Electric boogaloo, The Jerk, Caddyshack, Memento, A Clockwork Orange, SW 4 and 5, Marathon Man, Tootsie, Aliens, The 5,000 fingers of Dr.T, MI-3, Big Trouble in Little China, Ed Wood, Goldfinger, Gremlins, Monty Python's Life of Brian, Cool Hand Luke, Bullit, Yojimbo, The Apu Trilogy, MASH, The Killer, Medium Cool,The Last Dragon, 8 1/2, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Toto le Hero, Gallipoli w/ Mel Gibson (probably the best ending in cinema history, seriously, see it)

Television:

The Prisoner,The 6 Million Dollar man, Tales of the Gold Monkey.I gotta say that Dave Chapelle is still friggin' funny, and the Larry David show.The Twilight Zone, Night Gallery, Carson's Comedy Classics, "Voyagers" from 1982 was the bomb, yo.I'm still waiting for Larry david to get a side job doing motion capture work. I don't really watch, I'm still waiting for Don knotts to return to T.V. then I'll be all over it. Oh, 4, 8,15, 16, 23, 42.

Books:

Guns germs and steel, The Fan Man (actually it sucked), The Death of Birth, Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, The best democracy money can buy, Rush limbah is a big fat idiot, You-a users guide, Making your 2nd million...ahh, F-it I really only read Mad Magazine.

Heroes:

Martin Luther King ( who needs anyone else, really)