In the swealtering hills of Tennessee.......Muffin began his reign of terror at the age of fifthteen, when he bought a heavy-ass Aria Pro flying-v guitar.............This was short lived.......He was soon investigated by the school board and state of tennessee for leading "occult activities".......In fact,.....There had been discovered , a hidden room beneath his apartment building.A room filled with undeniable evidence..... a collection of knives and wands upon alters .... stacks of books and Grimoires....vials of potions and blood ..... and several skulls one being human ....Muffin had dropped....briefly......from social circles .........only to reappear ...a bit darker.He fell into a group of fellow artists and deviants .....known as the Bohemians ....Including Dick Laserbeam of The Dick Laserbeam Experience and Marcus of Android Acending...and a host of other social deviants.They would begin everyday and end every evening with drug fueled jams.......avoiding school ........and much of the public.Their already disturbed minds....bent on excess....became even more warped as time went by.Soon ... everything they touched was painted or drawn on .... everywhere they went shown signs they had been there.The Bohemians learned how to manipulate the system ...... and in a time before computers ...... they had free reign ..... free pizzas ...... free beer .... free shows ..... soon they were writing a new book of tricks & pranks ..... All this came to a crashing end when Muffin and Marcus was arrested and jailed .... held up in a house on stilts ..... new doorways punched through walls ... walls brightly painted from drug-twisted minds ...... they were half asleep in the attic ..... finishing a joint ..... a small fire burning in a tin tray from the water heater ....... and then it was over .....At seventeen , A friend of Muffin had gotten hold of a 4-string fender knock off.....and had went to Muff's place to show him .... when Muffin heard and "felt" the sound of the bass.......he knew the bass was what he wanted to play....he took it....literally..... for a debt past due ..... He installed a pipe in it , which he could then "puff" and play at the same time......he repainted it black and put in a second pick up. With this new weapon, he unleashed it upon his neighborhood..... every day he would murder a piece of music ..... bastardize a song ...... (even Christmas and Easter sunday wasnt safe).Within three months ...his first band was born.......Concrete Wilderness.The band played a dark mesh of blues , black magic , and jazz improve.....until the loss of the lead guitarist. The rhythm guitarist stepped up to play lead.......and with a new axe-man at the helm...they went on with a much heavier , riff-oriented sound............. This band played the spring and summer of 91....with local favorates such as Exit Plan and Rood Society........... only to die a cold,sullen, death that winter.Weary.....Muffin went on to play in several projects over the next few years..... answering ads and bulletin posts .... only to find people he once knew or seen before in other bands ... trying to form rag-tag bands of their own .... the music scene began to die ..... "Music City" was becoming a sports town ..... and all the great beasts began to die off ..... and disappear .... as did Muffin .....Then in 99..........Muffin re-emerged....... with the drummer of Concrete Wilderness.Within a few days.......the second guitarist was found.....And an unrecorded re-union jam sparked the idea of the second coming...........it never happened.Muffin ...yet again...vanished......Then in 2003...... Muffin and Dick Laserbeam , creeped in with a new project ......and with the addition of a local bar-fly , Seizureboy , on drums.......they formed a dark , experimental band........ Whore Magnet.This project is steeped in drunken madness , hostile sexuality , and murderous intent.....with songs like "fox in a box","filled with disease",and "march on poland".Fueled by a staple of Crown Royal ,Herb ,& somas.......beginning each evening with the seeds of madness ......growing into a tortured soul clawing its way through the mind....out of the eyes and mouth .... and onto the floor .....Muffin soon began to loose his mind ....One day at work ....he found himself ,once again .....as the store Easter bunny.......After realizing that he had been doing this for 15 years ....and that he was a professional Easter bunny ......not to mention Santa Clause .....He snapped........After leaving work ....he went to jam .......
he had not taken off the suit .........
afterward ...he went home ....and went to bed .....He had not taken off the suit.......
he woke up that monday .....fixed himself some coffee ......fired one up ....and left for work .......he had not taken off the suit...........Muffin became another personality.......And took over .............The origional man was gone ...........He had given up..............Insanity seemed to have its benefits .....and downfalls.......Whore Magnet has remained fresh through the years ........Partly due to Seizureboys disabilities.....in which many drummers have sat in ..... conjuring new jams and songs........carving them from the smokey air .......In 2008 ...... Dick and Muff .... with fellow Bohemian Alum and Bassist El Ponio Classico ..... formed a lighthearted and upbeat side-project ...... Homemade God ....... with Muffin helming the Drums ... and Laserbeam left to his own devices ..... There will always be a little pocket of madness ...... just over the horizon .......
Check out more Whore Magnet at .....
http://www.myspace.com/whoremagnet666Muffin's other project .....Kuru , with pianist Bongboy....athttp://www.myspace.com/kuru420Beware of the shadows ...when you're home ... alone ....it just might be
.....your friendly neighborhood Muffinman
