For Desiree,
I owe so much to you and miss the times that we shared. I hope life brings you happiness in all things great and small. I miss you like a part of myself is gone. You'll always find nothing but love in my heart for you.You have always known that I am a genuine, down to earth man, who is very passionate about a number of things, especially music, art, life and my children.You've given me confidence, but I remain humble and I used to talk your ear off about nearly any topic. Always opinionated but open-minded and enjoyed our conversations even the few times that you fell asleep. I will miss hearing your soft breathing over the phone as you slept. I could listen to it for hours and sometimes did without you knowing.
You know I am a very romantic and sensitive man, who dreams of
sunsets, strolls on the beach, candle-lit dinners, quiet nights under the stars, sensual kisses, giving you body massages, relaxing moments in hot tubs with champagne or a good wine and senselessly and hopelessly losing myself in your eyes, but it is now gone from us.I am still soul searching and hoping that love will come my way again. Hope is all I have to go on. It has been since October since I had you in my life and I still miss you more than I have ever missed anyone. Time cannot heal this wound, I am afraid, as so many people say. The only thing I can do is patch it up, but a large scar will always remain. Try as I may, there is a void that may never be filled. It is a void that may always be there just as if I had lost a child, spouse or any other loved one. I have prayed that it will pass from me and perhaps it will, but it will never completely be gone. You are a part of me wherever you are and wherever you go and no matter where life takes you, there is a special part of you that will remain with me until the end of time.To know me is to know a man with a heart that has no depth or boundries. You once called me a "great man" and so many times a "beautiful man". You know I'm empathetic and compassionate and, because of you, in love with who I am as a person. Will I ever find a woman like my lovely Dez again? That is a question that remains to be answered. To me, there has never been a more beautiful creature in all creation, I just wish I could lay my eyes upon you one last time. If you were old and grey, you would still be the most beautiful woman I know. I miss you and I have tried to hide from it and deny it for 7 months, but it is futile to even try any longer. I am stronger today than I was, more confident and self-assured and I owe most of it all to you, Desiree. If ever you read this Desi, I miss you and love you more than you know. It is time for me to find some closure, hun. With or without you, I must move on.I am always learning new things and love the person I have become, but I can't take the credit for what has shaped me into the man I am today. Aside from Desiree, there are many other friends who are responsible for giving me their love and support and reassuring me along the way. Picking me up when I fall and always being there for me. Those others who have shined their light on my life are:
-Toya (You have the strength of a billion elephants and are one of the most remarkable women I know. I miss you even though I just several messages from ya. I LOVE YOU TOYA!! You are so beautiful, when you walk into a room, I bet it is like the sun is shining indoors)
-Elle (There is no one like you! I love you so much Elle, you don't even know! Thank You!!! We were meant to be best friends I think... and you know I have always had a not-so-secret crush on you... it is that Pisces-Cancer magnetism... but you're such a beautiful person how can a guy help himself hehe)
-Acacia (Thanks for the talks, hun, you always seem to brighten my spirits somehow with your magical ways)
-Latesia (You make me sad, but I love you anyways. ;-) You have helped me to boost my confidence and are always positive. Oh and you got me on the dance floor without a fight... that is an accomplishment all on it's own!)
-Katrina and Zachary You are the two most important people in my life, the love we share is unconditional and unbreakable and I'll always be there for you two, thanks for being my kids.
I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.
--Bjarne Stroustrup (originator of C++ programming language)
Who I'd Like To Meet:
People who are drama free, honest, respectful and open-minded.
Perhaps HER, if I am lucky.
Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and many other musicians unknown and known.
....and ALL of my close online friends!
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