Have you heard the story of the fish out of water?

About Me

To classify all the bodies in the solar system, it is necessary to adopt an arbitrary set of criteria; a criteria that must also apply to the minor planets, or "asteroids". Let us now look at the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. The classification of this group of fragmented planetismals began in 1801 with the discovery of Ceres. Ceres, having a diameter of 955 km is found to be the largest member of the family of several hundred sizable boulders locked in what would seem to be a merry go round of primordial debris from the very early phase of planetary formation. Out of over 2000 asteroids regularly charted and observed, Ceres, due to it's large size, convenient location and availability was found to be the perfect spot for a drinking establishment, or "bar" if you will. It was named, appropriately enough, "The Ceres Crossroads" and it was more often than not frequented by roughnecks and thugs.It is here where our story began. The story of how I became a father. And oh yeah, it's my birthday.

My Interests

Sleeping. Drinking. Fucking. Thinking. Writing, when able.

I'd like to meet:

A hot, independently wealthy deaf-mute chick into shiftless, insensitive fat white dudes. No? You'll have to then, I suppose.

Music:

I'm going through some sort of weird indie phase where I'm re-listening to a bunch of classic stuff like Neutral Milk Hotel and shit. I don't know either.

Movies:

Oh, you know, the usual. Big Lebowksi is always a favorite, if only because the Dude is like some sort of father figure to me.

Television:

As I descend further into my own nihilistic grumpiness, I find that I am watching more and more television. This of course is a bad thing, but that's kind of the point of doing it in the first place. Kind of like when Marky Mark is sitting there watching Monster Trucks in I Heart Huckabees.

Books:

Some favorite authors: Hunter S. Thompson, Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, Greg Palast.My favorite book of all time ever is "The Milagro Beanfield War", by John Nichols.

Heroes:

Now that Mr. Vonnegut has passed, they're all dead.

My Blog

May is over and the reviews are in...

Mixed bag, this month. I still didn't get a regular job, but I've worked and schemed my way into having bills covered at least through the end of June.The bad news: my car is pretty much d...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 08:53:00 PST

So this is how I'm going to get in shape, I guess

The corolla finally bit the dust. Needs a new engine, engine mounts, timing belt, and hampster on wheel. That's right, Geraldo the hampster has died. Pour one out for him, homies.The...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Tue, 15 May 2007 11:18:00 PST

Your daily rant

So, as I was goofing around on the ol' intarwebs earlier today, I came across an article that basically convinced me the human experiment has FAILED. And FAILED MISERABLY. Remember the Spi...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Thu, 03 May 2007 11:44:00 PST

Bloody insomnia

Haven't slept.Horrible, horrible day. What is wrong with my country? What is wrong with people? We invented alarm clocks, nuclear war and celebrity worship. What is wrong with ...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:42:00 PST

Kurt Vonnegut is gone now, and I am poorer for it

I have always mused on the question: what would an Arian I. Gulick novel READ like? Well, in all honesty, it would probably read like a poor rip off of Kurt Vonnegut, drunk and in a terrib...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 01:37:00 PST

A late night/early morning haiku

By way of explanation, there's been an obnoxious fucking beeping coming from the house that's getting remodeled next door for the past two hours or so. It's keeping me from sleeping and making m...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 02:51:00 PST

Saw Zodiac last night

As the title suggests, I caught the much hyped new David Fincher flick last night. I was kind of tired and a little bit sick, so my immediate reaction after leaving was "that was long and it suc...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:10:00 PST

The Power of Titties

I have to say, I don't get the whole Anna Nicole thing. She was a ditzy broad with huge knockers, and most of those knockers were comprised of silicone. Or saline. Or something that ...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:09:00 PST

Ideas for a book

It's occured to me lately that I've been exceedingly lucky recently. Not only did I stumble into a job that is pretty much what I wanted at precisely the moment that I *had* to, I did it with a ...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 01:27:00 PST

Hooray for employment

I can breathe a long, long sigh of relief. I'm back amongst the working after a perfunctory background check passes. While it's not as cool as selling a movie for a couple million dollars,...
Posted by Have you heard the story of the fish out of water? on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 08:57:00 PST