Turner D Century

I'd like to meet:

Tara Strawberry, Teresita Rex(The Fastest Name In The West), Dino, Tom Waits, Jo Boobs, Anton Szandor LaVey, Oliver Reeeeeeed, David Lynch, Gina Gershon, Famke Janssen, Jonathan Woss, Ray Zell (my honourable Auntie from "Lipstick'n'Bulletz" days),The World Famous Pontani Sisters, Molly Crabapple, Jim Thirlwell, Lord Buckley, Kitten DeVille, Jan Svankmajer, Anne Pigalle (Again, for the coffee and for the cake although probably not for the kink, I know my place), Mother (Again, for the good of my immortal soul), Siren (Again, for the...good GOD woman)...that reminds me...Russ Meyer, and THAT reminds me...Leyla Rose, Joel Peter Witkin, Jack Kirby (and possibly Stan Lee, but not Avi Arad), Eric Morecambe, Julie London, Bettie Page, Dorothy Ford, Romaine Bohringer, Angie Tara and Helen Pontani, Bob Hope, Abbott & Costello, Jazzbeaux Collins, Robert Mitchum, Renata Daninsky, Lindsay Hutton + Long Gone John + The Saucerman in a recordshop with a jukebox and a bar, Paul Derval, Terrythomas, Fenella Fielding, Maila Nurmli, Worm Brian (Scary Mary to his pallies, Ellen von Unwerth, Derren Brown in a lead-lined helmet, Gregory Crewdson, Brassai, Bill the Cat, Harry Flashman, Hieronymus Bosch,Lucy Fur, Peter Cook, did I mention The World Famous Pontani Sisters? and Little Brooklyn whose SCREAM adorns my mantlepiece and is adored by all.....
Online Videos by Veoh.com

Music:

Up Top, Out Front & All Over:- Tom Waits, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, PJ Harvey, Dean Martin, Scott Walker, Foetus, The Shangri Las ("MAMA!" And if THAT don't tug yer ever-lovin' heartstrings, kindly remove yerself from my page), Serge Gainsbourg, The Real Tuesday Weld, Anne Pigalle, The Gun Club, Julie London, Marc Almond, The Cramps, Jesus Lizard, Birthday Party, New York Dolls, Las Vegas Grind, Lavay Smith and her Red Hot Skillet Lickers, Barry Adamson, Vagabond Opera, Dusseldorf Vampires, Puppini Sisters, Imelda May & her Palookabox Enforcer Biscuits, Ronnie Magri and His Shim-Sham Revue, The Ronettes, The Horrors, Scary Mary Manson, The Pogues, Hot Club of Cowtown, Tiger Lillies, Dresden Dolls, Paolo Conte, Gallon Drunk, Dead Brothers, Diamanda Galas, Jacques Brel, Lotte Lenya, Marlene Dietrich, the whole elegantly dishevelled kit and kaboodle,Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Spike Jones and His City Slickers, Little Johnny GenzaleOdds and Sods, but probably no Mods:- Sons & Daughters "Rama Lama"; Cruella de Ville "Gypsy Girl" / "Drunken Uncle John";The Damned "Grimly Fiendish"; The Pipettes "Judy"; Allan Sherman "Hello Muddah"; Holy Shit "Call Me Tarzan"; Cari Lee "Scorched"; Dogs d'Amour "How Come It Never Rains"; Jane's Addiction "Three Days"; Chris Isaak "Wicked Game"; The Chordettes "Mr Sandman"; Frank Sinatra "A Very Good Year"; Scissor Sisters "Laura"; T-Rex "Twentieth Century Boy"; Tindersticks "The Not Knowing"; Dionne Warwick "Say A Little Prayer"; Unsophisticates "Maxi's Dead"; The Headless Hearsemen "Mr Bones"; Jimmy Scott "Sycamore Trees"; John Lee Hooker "On The Waterfront"; The Throbs "Nuclear Attack"; Tex and The Horseheads "I'll Quit Tomorrow", Jim White "The Wound That Never Heals", Tenpole Tudor "Swords of a Thousand Men"; MArilyn Manson "Mobscene", Royal Crown Revue "Watts Local"; The Doors "Riders on the Storm" / "Alabama Song"; Ella Mae Morse "Cow Cow Boogie"; Mark Lanegan "Consider Me"; Jesus Lizard "Seasick"; Johnny Cash "Hurt"; Edwyn Collins "A Girl Like You"...GEE AIN'T THIS A RIDICULOUS EXERCISE?...Whiskeytown "Everything I Do"; Adam and The Ants "Dog Eat Dog"; Rolling Stones "The Girl With the Faraway Eyes" (Sarah's song); All Seeing I "Walk Like A Panther"; Big Rude Jake "Queer For Cat"; Mundell Lowe "Satan In High Heels"; Laurel & Hardy "Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia"; Hanoi Rocks "Walkin' With My Angel", "Tragedy"; One The Juggler "Rip The Cat" / "Sister Soul"; Cousteau "Jump In The River"; Gretschen Hofner "Betty Page Is Back"; Flaming Stars "A New Shade of Black"; all those one-album three-chord too fast to live bands crashing about in the name of rock and indeed roll...OH, WHATEVER...Cell Block Seven "St James Infirmary"; Vikki Carr "The Silencers"; Johnny Dowd "Worried Mind"; Dr John "Walk On Gilded Splinters"; SAHB "Shake that Thing"; Masters of Reality "Eyes of Texas"; Under Neath What "2000 Light Years From Home" / "Pointed Id"; Robert Mitchum "Thunder Road"; Goldfrapp "Train"; Divine Comedy "Something For the Weekend" / "Time"; Marionette "Gonna Raise Hell", My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult "Devil Bunnies"...Alice Cooper ('70's), Uncle Sam, Faster Pussycat, Marionette, Babysitters, Last of the Teenage Idols ("Who's that looking over my shoulder...? The man with the trembly nose..."), Lords of the New Church, Girl, Torme (Saaaay, are my ROOTS showing all of a sudden?)

Movies:

Of Freaks and MenThe Saddest Music in The WorldAmelieAmelie, Blue Velvet, Of Freaks and Men, Betty Blue, Pan's Labyrinth, La Vie En Rose, The Saddest Music in The World, School For Scoundrels (of COURSE that one, you peasants), L'Appartement, Donnie Darko, The Girl Cant Help It, Parents, Night On Earth, Swingers, Wild At Heart, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Pandora's Box, Looking For Lulu, Kind Hearts and Coronets, Pervirella, Barbarella, Cinderella, Old Yeller, Well-a Well-a Well-a UH-HUH, The Sandman, Casablanca, Delicatessen, L'Enfer, Wisconsin Death Trip, Carnival of Souls, The Pontani Sisters: Showy and 5'2", The Day The earth Stood Still, The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover, Cabaret, Great Expectations, King Kong,The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Matador, Belleville Rendezvous / The Triplets of Belleville, Ed Wood (funny), Look Back In Angora (funnier), Tie Me Up Tie Me Down, Carry On Screaming, This Island Earth, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, M, All Dolled Up plus New York Doll in a one-two sucker punch of lipstick, powder and heartbreak, The Red Balloon, Cyrano de Bergerac, Forbidden Planet, Performance, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill, Memento, Night Of The Hunter, Sunset Boulevard, Trigger Happy, The 5000 Fingers of Dr T, Young Frankenstein, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Freaks, The Velvet Hammer documentary, Alice, Gimme Shelter, The Street of Crocodiles, Willard,Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood, Vincent Alice

Television:

The Sopranos, League of Gentlemen, The Shield, Twin Peaks, Dream On, Carnivale, The Long Firm, Phoenix Nights, Samurai Jack, Funland, Early Doors, The Simpsons, The Singing Ringing Tree, Northern Exposure, Eerie Indiana, Derren Brown, Blackpool

Books:

Red Meat...Red Meat...Red Meat...Read Meat...

...Red Meat...Red Meat The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Flashman, A Tale of Two Cities , Burlesque:Legendary Stars ofthe Stage,Titus Groan , The Sandman (Gibson), The Sandman (Gaiman),Candide, Great Expectations, The Idler, The Chap, Dora Suarez, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Boy Wonder, Hollywood Babylon, Three Men In A Boat, Metamorphosis, Dead Babies, The Infernal Desire Machines of Dr Hoffman, Secret Paris of The 30's, Le Petit Prince, Modern Drunkard, Milk Sulphate and Alby Starvation, Infinite Variety: The Life and Legend of the Marchesa Casati, The Cat In The Hat, Mr Corbett's Ghost, Twilight of the Idols, The Wasp Factory, Money, The Tempest, Kris Guido - Sinister Legend, Juxtapoz Magazine, Bloom County, The Haunted Looking Glass, The Doubtful Guest, Where The Wild Things Are, I Lucifer, Perfect Medium: Photography and The Occult, M (Jon J Muth), Belloq's Storyville, Untamed Highway, Dr Sketchy's, Between The Eyes, Joe Bob Briggs Goes To The Drive-In, The Great Shark Hunt, The Maxx, Lipstick'n'Bulletz (ah, how the memory lingers...), the Miroslav Sasek THIS IS... books, Jazz Age Beauties

Notwithstanding the subject matter (Rusty, crusty golems of testosterone-addled shouty metallic abomination), the rather marvy artwork above comes screaming at you from the splendiferous brushes of one Helvis Mason, a wine-quaffing serpentine-locked valkyrie of uncommon loveliness, unusual shoes and unbridled talent turned up to eleven, with dobly on it. If you can winkle her out of the winebar, she may be kind enough to produce something wonderful for you, for a small consideration and a butt of sack. Or something. Click on her lovely face in at the top of my friends list and tell her I sent you. She may not remember who I am, or she may just guffaw roundly in your electronic face, waving a wine bottle in tipsy merriment, but go and see her anyway...And let me tell you about the mummy, honies...spooky fella here, Ardeth Bay as I'm sure all you groovy ghoulies already know, comes to you direct from the weapons-grade ubertalent fostered beneath the quite lovely face of Ms Emma Mount, whose vivacious visions of matinee magnificence and hurley burley have been wowing all comers from Century Acres to San Francisco. Go to emmamountart.com or myspace.com/emmamount and feel the unusual sensation of your eyes trying to cross their legs as they wet themselves out of pure joy...and if you're in SF right now, check out The Attack of the B-Movie show at the Space Gallery, where you can pick up something super for a snip: http://bmoviepreview.blogspot.com/And just as your incontinent eyeballs are readjusting from the onslaught of beauty already blabbered on about, bend over and kiss 'em goodbye as the retina-felching loveliness of this image from the gorgeous Gayla at www.666photography.com bats 'em clean into the middle of next month. Whether you're a rockabilly ripsnorter or a leather-breeched rider after ruinous decadence, you'll find something to clutch to your savagely beating bosom in the sumptuous portfolios to be found chez 666, from pin-up queens to dinky ponies with pretty pink bows. Oh, just go see for yourself at www.myspace.com/666photography... This is still the back bit of Ms Heather Sweet, still snapped (in a nice way) by Mr Richard Heeps. These lovely peaches have been bumming around on my page forever, but I just don't seem to be able to prise them from the bottom of my heart. Pucker up and smooch this and sundry other works of saturated magnificence at richardheeps.co.uk or even the good fella's page on this here myspace I've said it before, and I'll say it again...What a VERY Sweet posterior...Heather like this sets a chap's mind to a-roamin' in the Gloamin, eh wot...?

Heroes:

Dean Martin, Robert Mitchum, Tom Waits, Alexander The Great, the Fabulously Divine and Supernaturally Talented Molly Crabapple, Paul Derval, Punchdrunk Theatre, Theodor Geisel, Jonathan Woss (no, weally), Bettie Page, Johnny Cash, Scary Mary Manson, Terry Gilliam, Berke Breathed, Nicky Five Strings (known aliases include "Don" Nicky Dutton, "The Daddy"), joSH AGle, Renata Daninsky, Stephen Coates & His Right Real Royally Wild Collapsing Calypso Contraption, Jack Kirby, Ray Zell, Peter Greenaway, Peter Cook, Derren Brown
The Pontani Sisters make me dance, but don't hold that against 'em. Sexy! Woooo!
And BOOOM!Just caught Gretchen Mol as "The Notorious Bettie Page", surpirsingly lovely although it covers pretty much the same ground as "Dark Angel", and similarly skirts the bigger picture, and by christ it doesn't channel Bettie's cheeky apple-bottom hipswing anywhere near so successfully as Bernie Dexter's "Wild Harem Girl"...And there's NOTHING like the real thing anyhoo...My guilty pleasures spot: Xtina never looked so good; Ellen von Unwerth cracks the whip...