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Ryan

WORLDS GREATEST ARMWRESTLER!

About Me

Muscle car driving, anarchist lawyer.

"I love the image of being a single crusader representing the dispossessed riffraff of society against the state with its well-funded, popular prosecutors. The Miami justice system blends law and economics to create a monster conveyor belt capable of speeding each defendant to the state penitentiary at the lowest possible cost per unit, and it's a pleasure to derail that factory machinery by throwing a constitutional monkey wrench into its gears."
-Roy Black

My Interests

MUSCLE CARS. Listening to cheesy 80s metal in my muscle cars. Sex. Playing basketball and softball. Watching sports. Islands. Engineered Negligible Senescence . Economics. Getting women to agree with me that women's suffrage should be ended. Oh, and this girl from Brickell Key.

Music:

ALL 80s HAIR METAL. The Gaza Strippers, Pantera, We Are Scientists, Tom Jobim, Getz/Gilberto, Supersuckers, The Michael McDonald Era Doobie Brothers, Carl Cox, Toby Keith, Myles Davis, The Sex Pistols, The Beatles, Elvis, old blues, Hot Hot Heat, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, The Postal Service, Clapton, Stevie Ray V, Frank, Dean & Sammy, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, the Velvet Underground, Phish, the Grateful Dead, The Who, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Buffet, Johnny Cash, George Strait, Garth, Waylon & Shooter Jennings, David Allen Coe, Radiohead, Bloc Party, Deadbolt, the Faint, GNR, DJ Assault, Violent Femmes, Avenue D, Coltrane, ABC, the Cure, New Order, Erasure, The Allmans. This is a good sample, but non-exhaustive.

Movies:

TOP 3: Anchorman, Old School, Superbad.

Television:

Sports. Cartoons. The Soup.

Books:

The Picture of Dorian Gray. The Death of Ivan Illych. The Anarchist Cookbook. Being and Time. Beyond Good and Evil. Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About. Fast Food Nation. Behold a Pale Horse. The Postmodern Condition. America (Baudrillard). The Denial of Death. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Heroes:


These fuckers.
And LEEEEEEROOYYYYYYYY JENKINS!

My Blog

My Trans Am...

This is my bone stock 1999 Trans Am.  It has an LS1 (Corvette) engine, and is fully loaded. Makes about 300 hp at the wheels. The Camaro is a lot faster, but this is my new grocery getter. ...
Posted by Ryan on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 07:58:00 PST

FIVE DAY DUI TRIAL

The courtroom was packed with attorneys. I had expected at least three trials to be set that afternoon, but only one actually did. My client was a 50 year old spanish speaker who had been charged with...
Posted by Ryan on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 05:57:00 PST

Frequently Asked Questions about me... (READ BEFORE E-MAILING)

FAQ - I get flooded with questions (as my profile is now public) about who I am and what I do. This should be a time saver: Are you really a lawyer? Yes I am. I do criminal defense law, but if you ha...
Posted by Ryan on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 09:07:00 PST

MY 1968 CAMARO

CURRENT PICTURESFrom the passenger's front.From the driver's rear. I'll try to take a front shot tomorrow.The original steering wheel rules. It's very thin.BFG Radial T/A 265/50R14's. (AKA My rear t...
Posted by Ryan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Detention Soundings

A row of about 25 boys sit in front of me in the narrow hallway that connects the juvenile detention center to the courtroom. They mostly are black, from ages 12 to 17, and they are all in brown jumps...
Posted by Ryan on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 09:50:00 PST

Illinois Trip

Flying out of Miami into Indianapolis is never something for which you can really prepare yourself. The scenery is so different. I just thought I'd share some pictures of what happenned with everyone....
Posted by Ryan on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 08:56:00 PST

A day in my life...

"Better to go down fighting and take two than to lie down and take one." I eyed my client. I was talking about the bullshit plea deal the attorneys "representing" the people of the State of Florida ha...
Posted by Ryan on Fri, 06 Oct 2006 12:12:00 PST

If you think you know anything about Nietzsche, start here...

(I wrote this and published it in HS204 magazine - a pop-philosophy journal, after being pissed at the authors for misinterpreting Nietzsche)Truth as the prettiest lie. Bullshit Nietzscheans, Pluralis...
Posted by Ryan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I suck in bed...

I didn't write this, I swear. But I had sex with the person who did. It is so interesting that I thought I would share. I'd leave you a comment, because you deserve one, but my boyfriend is insecu...
Posted by Ryan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST