Laura Palmer profile picture

Laura Palmer

EAT YOUR FART OUT

About Me

Laura was born in the bathroom of a Bennigan's in Joplin, Missouri to a fifteen year old waitress there. Because of her mother's life-threatening addiction to whip-its, she was raised mostly by relatives in Hayburn, Idaho (pop. 942). During a rare vacation to Los Angeles when Laura was seven, she was discovered on the street by a talent scout and started modeling children's swimsuits in various mail-order catalogues. After it was discovered that she could sing, Laura hit the state fair circuit at age nine, once opening for a then disgraced Falco. After a hearbreaking defeat on Star Search to a young Christina Aguileira, Laura returned to Hayburn where she focused on academics and freestyle walking. In high school she was voted Hayburn High's Harvest Queen and excelled in mathematics and gossiping. A Rhodes scholar, Laura received a scholarship to New York University. She intended to major in musical theater but, after finding that "too gay", she switched her major to independent Maoist studies. Laura graduated with Honors and began a lucrative career as a telephone psychic. It was then that Laura began abusing cocaine and virtually any drug she could get her hands .. an arrest for conspiracy and extortion in 2001, Laura served a year and a half in a maximum security women's prison in upstate New York. It was there that she started writing music. After her release, she moved to Dallas to focus on songwriting and start a new life. In April of 2006 she married Roy Ivy of the Tah-Dahs. The happy couple live together in Dallas where both Laura and Roy play live shows, write new music, and do bong rips. In early 2007, drummer and former child actor Li'l Hunky Rooks joined the lineup. Now a two piece, Laura and Rooks have just completed their first record, "Johnny Cashin' In". Laura looks forward to touring and motherhood.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 6/18/2006
Band Members: LAURA PALMER: VOCALS, GUITAR, UNRESOLVED ANGER LI'L HUNKY ROOKS: OG DRUMS, VOCALS, BOY SEXINESS JAMES PORTER: DRUMS, CLOWNIN'
Influences:Sparks, Jonathan Richman, Stephen Malkmus, Queen, Lee Hazelwood, Loudon Wainwright, Odetta, David Bowie, Kris Kristofferson, Harry Nilsson, the super hits of the seventies, Violent Femmes, Paul Williams, John Prine, T Rex, cocaine, that Ben Folds song about abortion, spite, suffering, vomiting, unicorns (the magic beasts and not the band), disgraced celebrities, dick, the walk of shame, friendship, Heineken, processed soy, date rapists, mental illness, peppercorn ranch dressin', Satan, baby beauty pageants, and Mother.
Sounds Like: We put the "cunt" in "country music." It's cunt-ageous!
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Interview with LP in The Music Slut

Go to www.themusicslut.org and click on "8 questions with."  It’s lots of fun!
Posted by Laura Palmer on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 08:37:00 PST

LP on the cover of The Quick!

From March 11, 2008.  The cover said "Drama Queen."  It was weird.  Here’s the interview.  I was a little drunk.http://www.quickdfw.com/sharedcontent/dws/quick/localm usic/ban...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 07:52:00 PST

Sloppyworld in the Observer!

I always post this stuff too late, but here you go.  Gee, that sounds like one sketchy club!http://music.dallasobserver.com/2008-01-24/music/sizing -up-sloppyworld/...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Sun, 03 Feb 2008 10:14:00 PST

"Johnny Cashin’ In" makes 10 Best of 2007

According to the Observer, LP qualifies as some of Dallas' best music.  What a big, hot, steaming pile of CRED!http://www.dallasobserver.com/2007-12-27/music/bridges- amp-blinking-lightsdoug-burrt...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 09:45:00 PST

"Johnny Cashin’ In" reviewed in Dallas Observer

I'm finally getting around to posting our recent press and reviews.  Here's one:http://www.dallasobserver.com/2007-11-22/music/homegrown /...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 09:39:00 PST

BUY OUR T SHIRTS AND CD’s RIGHT NOW!

click the link below and buy your awesome laura palmer cd's and t shirts!  just 20 bucks for both.  will ship anywhere!  do it now! Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all t...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:45:00 PST

Interview with LP in The Sub-Rosa

There's a new blog in town and I couldn't be more delighted.  Go read my interview and check out the rest as well.  http://thesub-rosa.blogspot.com/...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Fri, 10 Aug 2007 10:18:00 PST

Interview in Liner Notes magazine

LP finally gets some good press!  We have a short interview/review in a little new online magazine called Liner Notes.  Check it out at: http://www.bayoulogic.com/lnm_texas2.php
Posted by Laura Palmer on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 07:12:00 PST

Johnny Cashin' In

Well, shoot.  We done did a CD and I ain't set up an internet store yet or nothin'.  In the meantime, if you live far away from Dallas and need a copy of the great record "Johnny Cashin' In"...
Posted by Laura Palmer on Mon, 30 Jul 2007 09:43:00 PST