Toby

Hailing from a small backwater town (Newbury) located somewhere on the Yenisei River, childhood was never a chore for the young me. The summers were warm, the winters cold and harsh, yet the steppe offered everything a young chap could ever want - gold, women, beer, the occasional meal, a degree of autonomy and a distinct lack of trees to fall out of.
Growing up proved to be more of a challenge though. After years of daily battles with the elements over the 12 mile mission walk to school, the all important teenage years kicked in, along with a somewhat lackadaisical nature.
When the chance discovery of a strat copy was made on a particularly rainy and windy day, headstock poking out of the mud like a golden nipple, a new future was set! What is this marvellous invention I see before me? And will it make enough noise to even annoy the gods? If I plug it in to this handy Marshall stack over here, will it shake my bones and make me do the brown note? The answer was a big resounding YES.
A swift change of pants later, my path to the future was set and the chance to escape to the big city finally laid before me. Wrapping up my worldly possessions in a G & R bandanna and tying it to a stick, off I went with a pocket stuffed full of gold to find my destiny in rock and roll.
The journey was long and trecherous, taking me through many perilous situations - often involving angry farmers with big guns after I had noisily deflowered their daughters - I finally found myself handling low end duties for various nefarious and unspeakable acts. Deviating from metal to rock, from hardcore to.. er metal, I finally found myself indebt, inebriated and inept (in making money).
Basingstoke called my name and I followed that soothing voice toot sweet; those melodious dulcet tones enticing me like the most charming of sirens...
A brief flirtation later and I was off again, this time to the foot of mount olympus itself - the bosom of the land - the hallowed and mighty ford of Ox! And this, my friends, is where my story ends. Got married, had 5 children, grew old then died a happy man.
Marvellous.