Nick

Check out this link. http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/main.htm Check out this link. This song will change your life. It should change your life. Let it......................I have A LOT to say, ALWAYS. I am over opinionated. I put a lot of thought into life and this existence, most people do not. Most people drift, most people have no purpose or goal. They foolishly think that their occupation is a validation of themselves and their purpose on this earth, along with their family, and pay little obligation to anything else around them outside of those two elements. This system is wrong, this system of life sucks. Our big brother government has us pegged down the minute we are born. Our lives are ruled by the dollar and social conformity, if you do not play by the rules, you are considered deviant and outcast. I want no part of this, I have to stand for something more, I will not lamely settle. There are two roads, one with an easy path and a typical mediocre prize, and a hard hellish path, rarely traveled because of the lack of balls and safety in numbers, yet has an amazing prize and outcome. I choose the latter, I’d rather build my own empire and risk it all and know that I wasn’t just another typical number just doing what everybody else does just because it’s easier to copy what is before you. I do have a bad tendency to try and kill all I don't agree with or understand, for I put alot of thought into my stances, chastize it almost.Most people’s lives are a waste, they do nothing, they serve only the cause of others, corporate America, or the financial needs and goals of a company. What is the point of a life like that? What satisfaction do you get out of that personally? Especially when your time with an employer means nothing at any moment, you can get fired no matter what, reason or not, no matter what you do. There is no point in blindly and foolishly swearing allegiance to a job, they have none towards you ever, so don’t be stupid enough to sell your soul to one. In the blink of an eye, yesterday and the past means shit. Unless you are living your dream occupation, which 99% of us are not, a job is just a means to an end and paying bills, nothing more. We are confined to living our life in a box, ignorant, dumb, unaware, staying safe and comfortable, as government likes us to be. That way they can pillage from the masses, a select few at the top of the food chain gluttonously rape us all for their own gain, and our conformity and lack of questioning insures their existence and dominance. QUESTION AUTHORITY. Just because something is, does not make it right, no matter how many others are accepting it. Most people just accept bulshit because it’s easier to just lay down instead and take it up the ass than rock the boat, out of fear, or thinking one person can’t make the difference. People even try and wipe out those who try to make us think there’s something wrong with this current system of life. Do you really think humans have it so great? Look at every other animal on this earth. Our social structures and expectations actually force us into living less free than them. Why? Because we have to go to highschool, then go to college, then get a job, then get married, then have kids, raise them, work at a job for 40 years, and then die. That’s life? FUCK THAT!!!! So you bust your ass and your youth away so you can live comfortably when you’re older, but then your too fucking old and decrepit to travel the world and see all you wanted to see all your life.The key is to have an overly ambitious dream or goal, and just make it happen. Most people don’t have that, and just live that typical life, in a comfortable 30 mile radius, don’t do much, don’t see much, don’t amount to much of anything that mattered or contributed a thing to this world other than the financial gain of the company they worked for. Do you people not think about this? Are you satisfied with such an existence? Really? Even those who are ambitious can get side tracked. Talking the talk and walking the walk are two totally different things. Most all of us talk, and do NOTHING. It’s easy to say what were are going to do. Doing its is different. NOTHING comes without hard work, great things accomplished are never simple unless you are networking and riding off of someone else’s coattails. What keeps us from accomplishing things quite often? The meantime, our desire for the instantaneous pleasures and gratifications now, because its sucks to sacrifice a lot in the meantime to a goal that there is no 100% guarantee of, and you don’t want to have life suck possibly unnecessarily. There are people though, who are so driven and determined, like maniacal mother fuckers, that they won’t take failure for an answer, they cut out all the bulshit and sacrifice it all in the meantime, and bust ass so much that they become people like Bill Gates. They beat the system, he calls all the shots in his life, he lives completely free. I personally know no one person in my direct life who lives freely. We all live a slave to our bills, which this system wants us to do. Great for their economics, and then we all get locked into it more with the more debt we acquire, through credit cards, mortgages, car payments, and providing for our children. See anything fucked with this yet? Maybe at times I am cynacil and jaded to this world a bit to, I don't know. Maybe it is because I know that I am a strong person, not giving myself props, but more because when the weak see someone strong, they always ask things of them and expect things or them and try and dump shit off on them. That's where my ability to say no has finally had to get better, and has, and still am working on it, because we all have ourselves to woryy about first and foremost.One of the greatest wastes of times and why people never amount to anything? Drugs and alcohol. America obsesses over partying and being a pimp and baller and being on the up and up on the who’s who and VIP list in social surroundings. Who gives a fuck?!?! Does partying really in reality do a fucking thing for you in your life at all? When you die, is that really the shit you’ll remember? No, cause you were too fucked up too! Too many people also mistake their social life as their point to existence on this earth, and not what they say and do and accomplish. For the most part socializing makes us feel human and normal, and we need healthy doses for sanity factor, but in reality much of that time spent is meaningless and fruitless, but because that is all most people do, to society it is normal or right, yet very little beneficial to your life comes from it. Am I sociopathic, or right? People who have no purpose or ambition or goal have to therefore rely on their social life to keep them busy from boredom or lonliness, theres nothing for them really else they feel as though they have to do, and in reality is quite an easier resort than something that takes drive or effort. It's all they have going for them, hence why people disappear in their relationships often and select groups of friends and family, only enough time for the good people's. Sometimes it may just be that they haven't found their purpose yet or what their goals are yet, but in reality for all of us, all that we do to bide us in the meantime for the instantaneous pleasures of now, just furthers nothing getting done down the road or figuring anything out. Most everything passes in life, most everything and everyone eventually comes and goes and doesn't matter. I do have to admit I have a problem in thinking such a way, because it very quickly limits me into thinking anyone is worthy or matters other than my loved ones, and that is not good or fair, but I am working on that, because people as a whole matter, because it's only through the masses that our world can change. All in all though, most people are fucks and a waste. It's sad, but it's the way of the animal kindgom. How do we deal with this sadness and though and notion in our social settings? Fucking ourselves up on whatever substance we can and "bonding" through our "unique and extremely deep and intellectual" time spent. Most people can't handle hearing such stances about life because it's harsh reality truth. Denial and avodiance is typical and abundant, what we all do, but it doesn't make it right. Think all of these thoughts, read them, be able to take them in and at least acknowledge them, think, and come to your own conclusion. Be able to handle it, look in the mirror, don't pretend your perfect and that everything is perfect and great, and be able to handle it. Can you do it? Most people can't. Maybe I'm high strung, or maybe I'm right? Maybe a certain degree of insanity comes out through enlightnemnet and having the balls to face the truth? Remember Brad Pitt's character in "12 Monkeys"? America has this huge obsession with pretedning the world is fantastic and only good and no bad happens and to not discuss it. We are the only animal on this earth that doesn't like to acknowledge it, because most of us are weak pussies. Reality is much of this world is nasty and violent and darwin, it's all around us, life is good and what you make it, but you're foolish to not be guarded and aware. Ignorance is not bliss, and in all other forms of life on this earth, gets a creature killed often. We reduce ourselves to an even lower level by fucking ourselves up on shit because of our lack of desire in thinking of or dealing with this aspect of life. That's what drugs exist for in the first place, to bring people to different places because this world isn't good enough 100% of the time for them, or because they can't deal with what is, forget about all that is for awhile, and not have the strength to do that on their sober own instead. Most people piss away their life with such a mentality and years pass in NOTHING happens with their life. There's always a reason or excuse to justify the contradiction for the day or for the now, and we forever do that, not really live up to our self character statements, and walk as living hypocricies, not actaully being who we say or think we are, years pass, nothingness. It's just easier, to be weaker, ignorant. Silence is better than living a lie. What we mislead others with is who we aspire to be, but we do mislead them only because most of us talk and not walk. It takes effort to be an amazing person on this earth, and most people are lazy. Substance abuse is just another extension of it, laziness and coping, "socializing". Most people are not satisfied with their life, some even depressed about it, and most don't deal with it rather than tackle it, and substances are just enablers in our patheticness and self wallowing despair that we are in complete control of. Life is all a state of mind, I have no sympathy for junkies, you chose to bring yourself to that land in the first place. Plus, when you’re the only sober one in the room amongst everyone else who’s fucked up, how quickly does that get old? You start to separate yourself. It’s the things you do and the loves you find and share and create, the places you see, the things you did that weren’t typical, that make you know you mattered and you gave this life one hell of a fucking bang! Its not the parties and drugs and booze and sex and how many people you fucked, big fucking deal to all that shit. All it does is fuck up your life. I think people who really get lost in that are really fucking pathetic and weak, I even loathe myself for what little partaking I have had in my lifetime. No more. You think that fucking bulshit matters? I have had the misfortune of bartending for 10 years now, sighing sadly as I type this. I can’t stand this fucking job or the bar scene. What do most people do with their weeks? Spend most of their week at work, then get home, spend time with their friends or family at night, and then live for their social time on the nights and weekends socializing with whomever, usually involving substance abuses of many sorts. Why do people need substance abuse? Because they are weak, because they are bored, because everyone around them is doing so, because its makes all you inhibitions gone, because you feel the need to get fucked up so only then can you feel comfortable to be the real you. In reality, what is gained by such social time and abuses? Does it get you ahead in life at all? Or more does it just encourage your nothingness in existence? Do you really think you’re making memories that matter? Doesn’t it all actually become a blur of memories after awhile because its really just all the same old stupid pointless fucking shit after awhile? I don’t need that shit, I am stronger than that, and I am stronger than most of you because of that. I don’t have to inebriate myself to deal with not liking how things are in my life, I instead just soberly take action in changing things I don’t like. What would most of you all do to socialize if you didn't have nightclubs and bars and drugs and booze as a cohesive resource or meeting ground? Possibly have to get creative and not just be typical and lazy? "What do you want to do? I don't know, get fucked up, go to a bar?" That was hard. Doesn't that dependence and weakness exude something wrong in that choice and thought process. Once again, just because everybody else chooses so doesn't mea it's nor retarded fucking bulshit! People forget that the reason you get a buzz or drunk is because you are killing braincells that you never regenrate and the feeling is from the deliruim of killing a portion of your body's main control unit. But fuck it all in the name of socializing, right?Granted, I have had my times in drinking and smoking, and it’s fucked up my health tremendously. It’s always a phase for everybody, because in the end, huge abuses of it usually end up killing you, or you end up sobering up after something tragic happens or you can’t take it anymore. Why not have the balls to look in the mirror and stand strong on your own two feet, not needing to rely on anything, not needing to be fucked up to be social or have fun? I really have never been a partier, and for very small and brief time periods I was, and I realized I was not being me, out of a feeling of not knowing myself and figuring shit out about myself, dealing with problems by not dealing with them, because that’s all that forms of drugs end up doing for you. I did it for the need to fit in, peer pressure, because those around me were doing so. Then, I woke up, I realized how all it did was make me lose more precious time and energy and money and resources, and that I was being a moron and a typical weak fucking pussy, and I got nothing done. I have dreams, and if I’m not working on them on a daily basis, all I’m doing is encouraging them not happening. Therefore, I am cutting out ALL of the bulshit in my life, anything that is holding me back from being productive, and booze and drugs never fucking make you do anything but sit on your ass with so called fun in instantaneous pleasure. You do things you wouldn’t even do normally cause you’re fucked up, and some pathetic mother fuckers try and use that as an excuse sometimes for their actions. I can’t, I am accountable for what I do, at all times, no matter what, no one puts a gun to your head to get fucked up on shit. You can have the desire to do as others around you, or to not, and deal with consequences accordingly. Case a point is after you hit a little girl with your car cause you were to drunk or coked out to see her, its not as though a judge will let you off the hook and say “Oh, well gee, since that’s the case”, when you try and pathetically tell him “ you know your honor, I’m really a good guy normally, stellar person as a matter of fact, and I really just wouldn’t have hit her normally, I just happened to be fucked up”. You think that will fucking hold up? Of course not, so why would it in any other way. So the reality is, when we do shit we’re not proud of when we were fucked up, is because we were being typical and fucking weak and stupid just as the packs around us we were “socializing” with at the time. “Your honor, I wouldn’t have raped her if I wasn’t so coked out, I’m really a nice person all of the time, I just slipped up this once”. As if his response would be “well, you know, I do have a good feeling about you, so no jail time for you”. My point is, this all sounds ludicrous, so therefore, anything is ludicrous you try and use being fucked up for as an excuse, in reality it’s actually makes your consequences worse because you lost control. We all have don’t it, and some learn, and most don’t. Here is the line that separates people. No matter how fucked up I may have ever been at times in my life, my faculties have all always been there, I haven’t gone to points where I would not recall shit or just “slip up” and cheat on a significant other. IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED AND NEVER WOULD, ITS CALLED SELF CONTROL AND RESPECT. Anybody who has done so or trys to use being fucked up as an excuse really just deserves being smashed in the face with a shovel considering all of these statements, that are all 100% accurate. So all of you can keep pissing away your life, doing all that big brother hopes of you, work 9-5, and be social and merry and piss your free time and life away at the bars, doing nothing with your lives, and die not having mattered other than just being another number. In reality, that’s such a fucking lame and selfish fucking existence to this earth and life, just thinking of nothing but yourself, and being content with just being a statistic that never left a mark of significance whatsoever. How on top of your game are you ever fucked up on any form of drug, or hung over, what do you get done? Everybody gets too comfortable, and sits in a comfort zone the weave, and nothing happens in their fucking life, because they’re not busting ass and thinks that all that goes on around them is just how it should be. Buslhit! It’s a cage created for us at birth, by politicians and scholars to keep us controlled and allow them to deem who is to be significant and who is not. You are public enemy number one if you think for yourself and think outside of the box, and are self made outside of their regulated confines. Much of our life is like the movie “The Truman Show”. Wasting your time away on the wrong things or activities or people, out of either laziness, or boredom, or lack of anything going on in your life, is sad and fucking pathetic. I’ve got too much going on, and apparently everyone else doesn’t, in their feeling the need for so much of all of this bulshit. No one close to me in my life has ever heard the words, or ever shall hear the words, “I’m Bored”. Ambitious people have shit going on at all times, and I feel like my life is booked until the day I die already, and all that will happen with new things and changes in my life is accommodating to those alterations and busying myself with them. You have to stop and smell the roses in life, but if you also sit around on your ass and be typical and waste yourself away on the same old bulshit, you’ll get nothing done, and you’ll end up doing nothing with your life just as 99% of society does. Your life is not you job, in most cases. It is your loved ones and your dreams. What are you showing towards your loved ones and friends on a daily basis that you appreciate them? What are you doing on a daily basis to make your dreams happen? What senseless bulshit are you also cutting out of your life to insure both of these things in happening more often and efficiently? I am leading the way down a lonely and hard path, whether people follow me or not, but I know my glory will be renowned, for I won’t take no for an answer, and I will bust ass to live a life less ordinary. Anybody who does not strive to do the same is a fool, but it’s their choice. EVERYTHING is a choice in this lifetime, shit doesn’t fall into the lap of anyone………………………………A lot has gone on this past year, I have changed tremendously as a person. I am more focused, I am more aware, of myself, the world around me, all of our functions. I am 28 right now, 30 is just around the corner. We can’t take time or life for granted, it is never on our side, 40 will be here in the blink of any eye. I fucked up my life the most and made the most mistakes I had in my life I would have to say in my 27th year on this earth, possibly the worst year due to my self inflicted stupidities and poor decision makings. Now is a rebirth, just accepting growing up, and getting my shit together to kick ass towards things in life. If you are not working a little bit everyday at your dreams, they are never going to happen, plain and simple. Even working hard means nothing if we are working hard at the wrong things. I’ve got shit to do, and I’m going to make these dreams happen. Everything I ever have set my mind on making happen, I have, and its always just been the wrong things. It’s me time right now. I always put life’s focus on others in my life first instead of myself, and that ended this past year. I will always be a great and passionate and romantic partner considering, and the best relationships are with a person who sees how amazing you may be, your strengths and potentials and drives, and only encourages it. I have that now, finally in my life, after a lot of fuck ups, and relationships that were just typical in their failures of youth and just wrong pairings or timings or because they were supposed to fail to bring me to the ultimate person in my life. You can not meet your soulmate until you are finally on the road to being your own ultimate person. This past year I began that road, because I got sick of my life as it was, and started to make tremendous changes, realizing even my own hypocrisies and shortcomings, doing something about it, kicking ass, and along the way, I met her. Naomi is the most stellar and worthy woman I have ever met, and feel as though she is a blessing that has been descended upon me. I have two gifts and dreams in this life now. The self focus and determination to realize my musical aspirations and talents and dreams and making them happen, and then upon meeting her, making life with the person that is the ultimate love of my life. You know the instant the connection starts. All of my shit is together now, so watch the fuck out world, cause you will get fucking plowed over! I have to live a life that matters, and above all that’s around me, in my dreams, and in my relationships with all those dear to me. The bulshit ends here…………..Results have to start now, time is too precious and whisking away, and shall not be a fool like most and take every moment and dollar for granted, for even saving money wisely allows you the freedom to more control where you are going to go, and what you are going to do. Fuck this system. I’m here to fuck it up and be a case and point violation of it. I will rock the boat, because I have to. To prove it to myself, and even my family that I have been letting down in some ways. Since I choose not to conform, I have no choice but to bust ass in making results that are rare and huge, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have no choice, this is how I have to live, this is the way I will have to leave my mark. I will never sell out myself, and can “foolishly” bank on this choice, for I can fully bank on me to get shit done and die trying to get the results I desire. The only thing that could make me fail is death, and I’ll still give that mother fucker one hell of a fight. It’s time………….For myself, for all of us. Rise to the top, or lay with most in peril and self inflicted dismay and sadness and nothingness. Real hard choice…………………..FIRST AND FOREMOST, I LOVE FUCKING MUSIC AND HEAVY FUCKING METAL! MUSIC IS LIFE! It's what keeps me from going nutty postal, and lifts my spirits to insane levels, of all emotions and pleasures. I am very energetic macho testosteroney, but not in a frat boy chauvinist way, just a spastic dude! I'm a very opinionated and intense guy, while pretty laid back at the same time. Translation: I usually have alot to say, but if you don't matter, I don't give a shit! I never can do anything in moderation, it's 150% or nothing, I am foreign to the concept of subtlety. I am blunt and intense, passionate about what things are near and dear to me, family are #1. The love of a good woman, one that blows you away in her character, personality, aura, demeanor, the beauty of everything that encapsulates the person that she is comprised of, is gods gift to man. 1,000,000 one night stands combined with the hottest whores does not even come close to making love to a woman that your innermost emotions, heart, and soul are devastatingly infatuated with. I have her in my life, that part of my life is complete. Now is the time to tackle the me portion and obtaining my goals and dreams.ABOVE ALL THOUGH, as a musician, writing even just one song that people identify and connect with, that is timeless and forever means something despite the test of time, is worth more than a gang bang with all of the worlds hottest vagina-beavers combined! To be able to write instead dozens of such songs, of such albums, or to make your living doing so, touring and seeing the world, would be complete bliss heaven. Love of something, a passion and goal, not even just a person, of what is dear to your heart, conquers all. It's what drives us, and I allow myself to often to be enthralled and captivated that way. For the first time though, I am finally channeling that in a positive way towards contributing to me and what I want in life! This side of me is something that is only seen by those who are close and matter, whom know who they are, and the rest of the world only knows the crazy retarded asinine fuck that you all have the misfortune of dealing with on a daily basis. The true overemotional and insatiable artist! What could be greater bliss in life than having both of my 2 facets in life, music and love, fulfilled completely in that way? I am all about me time right now, focusing for the first time in my life just on me, doing what I want with music and buddies and family. Change is good. You need to fuck up major to force self focus and awareness, and be able to deal with it, hear it from those who matter most, the good and bad, take bitch smacks even, and be able to look in the mirror and be able to also handle the good and bad you see in the reflection. I need to chase this music dream so that I don't regret not getting to do everything I've ever wanted to do before I settle down into family life, I want to travel the world and see so much. I HAVE TO AT LEAST TRY, BUT NOT WITH HALF ASSED EFFORTS, FOR NOTHING WILL HAPPEN THAT WAY.I have always done for the ones I loved before I have ever have done anything for me, but I am the focus now, because the right kind of combinations of change and new people in your life can provide that necessary balance of healthy elements. A devote and deep romantic, and yet a typical North Eastern cynic in one! So as in tune with my emotions as I may be, if you wanna ball bust about this portion, I won't be afraid to bust your mother fucking head for it either! I am never serious, always joking, sarcastic as hell. There's no fucking pretense to me, I'm not afraid to lay shit about me all out, and not give a fuck at the same time. That is what I believe all people should do, throw a piece of them out there for the world to see and make their mark.To sum it up, I am just a smart ass who likes to have fun, because life is too short to forget to have good times and make fond memories. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you can't be an idiot too! You will be entertained to say the least, because I strive to! I would never be anything other than a lead in a movie, I don't sit behind the scenes as an extra, passive and quiet. I make shit happen, I am a man of my word always. I talk too much, and I am also passionate to a fault at times. I think too much and over-analyze shit, but in reality, despite this novel I have written in this profile, am very simple. Golden rule mentality, and my world is kosher with you, though morals and ethics as human beings that are so dead nowadays, but mean something to me. There are aspects of me that are a front, cause realistically I am a very old fashioned genuine nice guy, but to the general audience of dumb fucks who don’t matter, I wont go out of my way anymore to try and convey that to the world. Very little is fake about me, and I find it best to keep a tough as fuck guard and demeanor and swagger that is used to keep shitheads at their distance, and yet not come off as a moron meathead. I am not afraid to do anything or fall flat on my face and fail, stand up to shit against the odds, and get right back up and not care, there is no point in shame.This is how you learn to get what you want, and anybody who knows me will tell you that once I set my sights on something, I always win! I am aggressive, know what I want, don't sugar coat, and I don't pussy foot, so wear a helmet around me if you need to be babied, unless you're my baby/honey, cause then its different...Haha....I say and do whatever the hell I want, and don't care what people think, but I am extremely conscious of other peoples feelings, whom matter anyways. If you're a fuck, I let you know by just not talking to you, which is respect indirect so as to not call you out on it! Confidence, not arrogance, which can be confused, but it's because the reality is I don't care. It's a release to find this mentality in life, because you realize there are a million fish in the sea when it comes to anything we want or choose in life, so nothing and no one is worth sweating. This was also a downfall growing up in terms of being the dare devil and trouble that goes hand in hand with it! Regret, compared to shame and the possibility of failure, is a different story entirely.People who claim they live life with no regrets, are completely full of shit. You learn from things, yes, but some life lessons you can at times feel as though you could have went without, but either way, as long as you learn and move on, forward, something positive came out of it.... Destiny and fate are carved well in advance, so what is meant to be will be, and you have to live everything to the fullest all the while. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, every occurrence happens for a reason, and KARMA LOOMS ALL OVER YOU WATCHING CLOSELY THE ENTIRE TIME, so choose your actions and decisions accordingly. I am finding myself and coming into my own a little bit later in age than is typical or should have, but fuck it, where are the rules?! Better that than to continue avoiding your demons, or losing yourself, right? I am not in denial and hiding from my shit anymore, others can choose to do so on their own accord and fuck up and do so on their pace and clock. People can change, and have to, if they hope to not repeat the same failures and mistakes in life, being "set in your ways" is a bulshit cop out for lazy people of any age. WE ALL HAVE STRENGTHS, AND WE ALL HAVE WEAKNESSES, WE ALL ARE HYPOCRITES IN SOME WAYS, AND WE ALL ARE ALSO NOT ALWAYS DOING WHAT WE WANT TO BE, AND WHERE WE WANT TO BE EITHER. The best you can do is surround yourself in positivity as you remedy that, and MAKE the life you want for yourself. I am a hard worker and competitive, and thank god age and a few relationships have made me not as high strung as I used to be. I have never done cocaine/hard drugs, and for obvious reasons as I demonstrate why from this section! I am way to wired and ridiculous sober, let alone a stimulant like that, which would make me like the Tasmanian devil times 25! Haha! 10 years of bartending, and playing in bands, and being around musicians, being around shady negative environments, has taught me that you don't meet good people or soulmates at a bar! Being surrounded by the shadiest of shady environments, of typical and cliche human elements, such as bars and nightclubs, makes for a very keen sense of human beings, and their TYPICALNESS AND FUCKING BULSHIT! I hate the bars, my ideal hang out is with buddies or family or my woman with a glass of wine in private confines, at home and just conversing the night away, bonding with those who matter. An artistic nature and eye for detail are much more of the proponent in these intuitions of people, which are always right. You can never say never, since there are no rules and protocols to life, but I have yet to see a case and point example to contradict these statements! I hate jocks, bar people, preps, rich-never-wiped-their-own-ass fucks, chameleons (people - haha!), ignorance, chicks with only guy friends, dudes with only chick friends, cookie cutter americans, pathological sketchpad liars, redneck nascar dildos, people without minds.Look at a man like Henry Rollins, for he is the ideal isolate everything in the type of person that I look up to, aside from his obvious incapability of relationships and intimacy, due to never dealing with his inner demons. He gives back to others instead, through his every action, so maybe their is a sense of self avoidance, but also a sense of selflessness in all his positive contributions towards others to not focus on himself. He has the true mind and heart and insanity of a true artist, and he IS INTENSE AS FUCK. That is why I admire him, and those who know who he is, know what I speak of, and those who don't, look him up. Some people travel this earth with an existence like that until the grave, avoiding themselves and falling into conformist monotony, BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING EASY, IT'S EASIER TO SIT BACK ON YOUR ASS AND NOT MAKE EFFORTS TO MAKE LIFE BETTER, AND JUST LAY BACK HOPING FOR LUCK OR HAND-ME-OUTS. Guess what? If you want big things in life, it doesn't fucking work that way! Those who have done the most, have also busted there ass the most to be where they are. Sad, to accept mediocrity, not how I want to go, so I learn both from other's strengths and weaknesses......My family members are the most important thing to me. Music is my life and passion, my reason for existence. Singing and playing guitar since I was a young dude, and riffing metal madness nowadays. Grew up in Aurora, NY primarily, moved around quite a bit in New York State, and have spent the last 5 years in Lowell, MA; and in recent years, to my misfortune, 4 years in Worcester, MA. MOVED BACK TO LOWELL UNFORTUNATELY IN SEPTEMBER 2006, temporarily for 6 months, and now in Dedham, MA, also, for the meantime, working and living in Boston. I don't know where I will be a year from now, and that's exciting, because my main aspiration is to make wherever that is way better than here and what is. I know Boston in and out this past year, and I have to say, Boston and the Boston attitude, FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!! Compared to cities like LA and NYC, Boston reminds me of the little brother that's always pissed off that it's just simply not as cool and tough as the older brother, but has napolean complex bite in it's lame fake bark to try and make up for it. I HATE WORCESTER, AND HATE LOWELL, BUT THINK I HONESTLY LIKED WORCESTER BETTER THAN LOWELL! I'm starting to think I could do without this state of Massachusetts altogether, and I FUCKING HATE TOWNIE MENTALITY, JUST IGNORANT PEOPLE IN GENERAL. I NEED TO GET TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF SUCKHOLE DEDHAM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need change.The snow and shitty weather makes everyone pricks in the northeast, and I'm kind of sick of dealing with both. I am not foolish enough to not know that your life is what you make of it no matter what, that the grass is not greener on the other side, so maybe it's just that I need a change of everything. For the first time ever, I FEEL FREE! I'm very much artistically and politically orientated, so I'm always up for a deep and intellectual conversation, while also that joker and entertainer deep down, so I'm also game for behaving like a moron too! Life's too short to be stupid, and too short to be serious all the time. Be significant. Stand for something. Do something. Maybe then I'll think you're cool................If not, I can always hang out with my dog Maggie!I've also learned in recent years to not be so stupid so as to not have a back up plan to everything in life, cause it could change viciously or end tomorrow, so bank on nothing. Educate yourself, and no, it does not have to be in institution, for colleges are more money making business scams than anything nowadays. The point of institution is to educate the mid to a higher level, but you can create you own institution, in your own efforts. The government and institution we are handed, is structured to mainly keep us dumb and happy and unaware, so we are sheep-lemmings that are easy to control and tax and profit off of. Some of the most intelligent people just took it upon themselves to be self aware of the world, to read a book. Experience is knowledge, literature is its document, and there is a wealth of such sustenance all around us that you can arm your mind with! Pay attention to all the subtle details in life, read the paper, watch the news, read a book, stay politically involved/aware, pay attention to your community, for tiny nuances are where the truth lay, to those open enough to absorbing this world around us. Question everything, precedents are bulshit, nothing is fact, for human influence dictates all that we are surrounded by.Talk to people, EVERYONE, for you can learn something from ANYONE. Never have a holier than though pompous attitude, because I just might have to smash your skull if you do. RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are all one and the same in this food chain, equal, despite are bulshit implemented mentalities and systems that do in some ways make it unfair to others and not equal. Don't be a worthless dumb fuck waste of space and sperm, you'll be wasting food and water supplies considering. Take no prisoners, and take no shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! When you know that you are a good person, there's nothing you have to prove..............I want to go places in this life, and will make it happen. My 3 biggest goals in the next 6 months is to get my band demo done, get moved out of Dedham and into greater Boston, and to get a surgery done that I’ve needed for years, that would have me more on top of all of my game in every facet of life! IT WILL ALL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!! Watch the shit I make reality……………………………………………†¦â€¦ Our actions and our words are a huge reflection of ourselves as a person, eating your own words in hypocrisy leaves no room for validity as to the person you state yourself to be. Choose your actions and behaviours accordingly, for you have to live with them as your personal pemanent testament, LIVE YOUR WORDS, and not make excuses for them when you are not. If you regard them and agree them to be right, LIVE THEM...................... *********************************************************** "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do." -Jack Kerouac