Tommy Tubby - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm Tommy Tubby! I like red hand bags, pink tutus, purple dinosaurs, and blow. Anybody out there got some?

My handbag is pretty f*ckin impressive! I can hide all kinds of sh*t in there! One time I hid several kilos of cocaine in there but that damned police dog kept humping my leg while waiting for customs. That's when I got a little impatient and hit it with my purse...I haven't fixed my clasp and it has been loose for a while. Some cocaine fell out and the next thing ya know, I've got a man with HUGE fingers prodding around my bunghole with a rubber glove. (Well, that wouldn't be so bad if he used a little peanut butter!)

Um..lemme think..whatelse...I'm also kinda clumsy - I fall over rather a lot. It could be the blow but hey, I'm kind of a lard ass. That's why I'm taking Ballet lessons...one day, I will wear that pink tutu proud!

My Interests

Ballet, Blow, BJs, Tutus, Handbags, Peanut Butter, KY, oh yes, and Gay-Rights (damnit, eveyone has the right to be HAPPY!) GAY IS GREAT! I also like playing fun games like Hide the Salami, Sprinkle the Magic Dust, Toke the Bowl, and Shoot the Shit.

I'd like to meet:

I guess I need some new friends. Tipsy and Tata bet me one jar of peanut butter and a new pink tutu that I couldn't carry the shit through customs using my magic hand bag (fuckers!). When I get out of jail, I'm gonna shove that Corona bottle up your ass, Tipsy!

Oh yes, and how could I forget!?! When I get out of prison, I can't wait to meet my teletubby dream boat, hunk-stud-muffin Ding-Dong. He's been writing me lots of letters and he gets so jealous when I tell him about my cell mate, Jorge (that's pronounced WHORE-HEY). Jorge is hotter than a cow on fire but Ding-Dong knows I still love him more. Jorge just gets lovin more often.

Music:

I love the TechnoTubbies!

I really dig the whole compilation of songs from Songs about Tom!

Television:

Considering how often I play and look at it...it might as well come with a remote!

Books:

99 Ways to Process Cocaine, Beating Customs, The Greatest Jail Escapes of All Times, How to Stroke Your Lover

Heroes:

AY DIOS MIO (I just learned that here in Columbia)...Anybody who can do this

My Blog

Get this girl some waterproof mascara!

We can forgive her for marrying a backup dancer... We can forgive her for incorrectly seating her child when driving a vehicle. We can even forgive her for getting knocked up AGAIN by a man who see...
Posted by Tommy Tubby on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 12:01:00 PST