Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Sarah: Pitbull With Lipstick
Sarah The Naughty Librarian
Hey kids, I am Brian Haner - Musician/Writer/Standup. I have been doing standup since June of '06. I got started as most comedians do - by spending 25 years as a touring and studio guitarist/singer - recording with Frank Zappa, Rose Royce, Tower of Power, Avenged Sevenfold, etc. After I got my own record deal in the early 80's, which led to a gold record in Europe and certified poverty here in the U.S., I composed some scores for television/motion pictures and toured with my own band well into the 90's. Eventually I ended up writing songs for a small publishing company in Nashville. After two years it became apparent that nobody was going to record my songs except for me, (due to the fact that they were mostly about midgets and carneys). So at age 48, I embarked on a career in musical standup.I've worked with some great comedians this past year and they have all been helpful and supportive. I am currently on a US tour with Jeff Dunham through the end of this year, (and probably into 2009). We are working on a Comedy Central Christmas special that will air later this year. I am writing songs for it as well as performing in it as "Guitar Guy".
As far as communication goes - I have nearly 7000 "friends" and to be honest, we're really tight knit. We go on outings, picnics, etc. so if I don't accept you, don't take it personally. I know all of the people here by their first and last names as well as where they work, go to school and where they worship, (which of course is here). It's only natural that we're a little skeptical of outsiders. If you're still interested in joining, I just mixed up a big batch of Koolaid. Come on in and grab a Dixie-cup.
Lastly - yes, I am Synyster Gates father. He is the lead guitarist of Avenged Sevenfold - a very successful and popular band with videos, gold records, etc. I don't answer personal questions about him nor do I relay messages to him so don't bother asking. I will talk about him as soon as I get paid for the work I did on his last CD. (just kidding, Syn)
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Dakota Fanning and the guy who shot JFK from the front.

I wrote the theme song for Brett's comedy special. If these bitches would shut up, you could hear me sing.Southern Belles of Comedy Trailer

Music:

2008 Schedule:

I will be with Jeff Dunham:
January
10 - Fox Theatre in Bakersfield, CA
11 - The William Saroyan Theatre in Fresno, CA
12 - The Santa Cruz Civic, Santa Cruz, CA
13 - The Hult Center in Eugene, OR
19 - The Nokia Theatre in Grand Prairie, TX

Febuary
7 - Morrison Center in Boise, Idaho
8 - INB Performing Arts Center in Spokane, WA
9 - The Moore Theatre in Seattle, WA
10 - Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall in Portland, OR
14 - Patriots Theatre in Trenton, NJ
15 - Scranton Cultural Center in Scranton, PA
16 - Community Arts Center in Williamsport, PA
17 - Sovereign PAC in Reading, PA
21 - Shea's Performing Arts Center in Buffalo, NY
22 - Lyric Opera House in Baltimore, MD
23 - Nokia Theatre Times Square, NY
24 - Palace Theatre in Waterbury, CT

March
7 - Robinson Center Music Hall in Little Rock, AR
8 - Hammons PAC in Springfield, MO
9 - Pershing Center in Lincoln, NE
20-22 - Lincoln Center in Ft. Collins, CO
27 - Renaissance Theatre in Mansfield, OH
28 - Stambaugh Auditorium in Youngstown, OH
29 - Luhrs Center in Shippensburg, PA
30 - Charleston Municipal Auditorium in Charleston, WV

April
3 - Alabama Theatre in Birmingham, AL
4 - Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center in Atlanta, GA
5 - Knoxville Coliseum, Knoxville, TN
6 - Walton Arts Center in Fayetteville, AR
10 - Rochester Aud Theatre, Rochester, NY
11 - The William H Mortensen Hall in Hartford, CT
12 - Broome County Arena in Binghampton, NY
13 - DeVos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids, MI
19 - Houlton Fair in Houlton, ME
20 - Stanley Theatre in Utica, NY
24 - Erie Civic Center in Erie, PA
25 - Sheas Performing Arts Center in Buffalo, NY
26 - Providence Performing Arts Center in Providence, RI
27 - Landmark Theatre in Syracuse, NY

May
1 - Louisville Palace in Louisville, KY
2 - Coronado Performing Arts Center in Rockford, IL
3 - Genesee Theatre in Waukegan, IL
4 - Peoria Civic Center in Peoria, IL
8 - Memorial Auditorium in Witchita Falls, TX
9 - Heart O' Texas Coliseum in Waco, TX
10 - The Oil Palace in Tyler, TX
16 - BI-LO Center in Greenville, SC
17 - TN Performing Arts Center in Nashville, TN
18 - Crown Center of Cumberland County in Fayetteville, NC
29 - Abraham Chavez Theatre in El Paso, TX
30 - City Bank Auditorium in Lubbock, TX

June
1 - Civic Center Coliseum in Amarillo
4 - Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center in Atlanta, GA
20 - La Crosse Center in La Crosse, WI
22 - Orpheum Theatre in Sioux City, IA
26 - Greensboro Coliseum Complex in Greensboro, NC
27 - Township Auditorium in Columbia, SC
28 - Landmark Theatre in Richmond, VA
29 - Norfolk Scope in Norfolk, VA

July
27 - Toronto Comedy Festival in Toronto, Canada
31 - Chester Fritz in Grand Forks, ND

August
1 - Auditorium in Minot, ND
2 - Civic Center in Bismark, ND
3 - Casper Events Center in Casper, WY
7 - Civic Theatre in Fargo, ND
8 - Sioux Falls Arena in Sioux Falls, SD
9 - Mayo Civic Center in Rochester, MN
10 - Morris PAC in South Bend, IN
12 - Hampton Beach Casino in Hampton Beach, NH
13 - Cape Cod Melody Tent in Hyannis, MA
14 - South Shore Music Circus in Cohasset, MA
15 - Hampton Beach Casino in Hampton Beach, NH
16 - Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City

27 - Headlining the Improv Comedy Club in Ontario, CA

September
4 - Times Union Center in Albany, NY
5 - Arena at Harbor Yard in Bridgeport, CT
6 - DCU Center in Worcester, MA
7 - Ryan Center in Kingston, RI
13 - Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, PA
14 - John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, VA
18 - MassMutual Center in Springfield, MA
19 - Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, NY
20 - Prudential Center in Newark, NJ
21 - Bryce Jordan Center in University Park, PA
25 - Nationwide Arena in Columbus, OH
26 - Bank of Kentucky Center in HIghland Heights, KY
27 - Eastern Kentucky Expo Center in Pikeville, KY

October
2 - Theatre at the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, TX
3 - BOK Center in Tulsa, OK
4 - Kansas Coliseum in Wichita, KS
9 - Arlington Theatre in Santa Barbara, CA
10 - Viejas Casino Concert in the Park at Alpine, CA
12 - Reno Events Center in Reno, NV
17 - American Bank Center Arena in Corpus Christi, TX
18 - Reliant Arena in Houston, TX
19 - CenturyTel Center in Bossier City, LA
25 - Emens Auditorium in Muncie, IN

November
6 - Lake Cjarles Civic Center Arena in Lake Charles, LA
7 - Baton Rouge River Center Arena in Baton Rouge, LA
8 - UNO Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, LA
9 - Von Braun Center Arena in Huntsville, AL
14 - Toyota Center Kennewick in Kennewick, WA

26 - Headlining Irvine Improv, CA [ Get Tickets! ]

28 - Agganis Arena in Boston, MA
29 - Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI
30 - Canton Civic Center in Canton, OH

More dates are coming!!!

Carney Man Tshirts!
Buy a few!

Movies:

Jeff Dunham & Brian Haner: Achmed's "Jingle Bombs"

New & Improved Guitar Hero!!!

This is a live version of Carney Man recorded on 12-1-06...Enjoy!

My take on country music

I do love the older women

Heroes:

Emma Ga[y]tes for making this site look so cool. She is the Goddess of all things virtual.

My Blog

Cougar Bait Banner!

Copy n' paste it...MySpace is an ass...(http://users. cjb. net/emmal27/brianhaner. html)...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:24:00 PST

New CD!!!

The new CD is finally done. Before you get too excited, lemme splain.I took the best songs from my last CD, "Songs to Make Love by" and went back in the studio with The Rev, (from A7X), and re-recorde...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Tue, 23 Sep 2008 11:35:00 PST

New Website

I'm working on a new website. It's not finished yet, but it is up and running.BrianHaner.com
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Tue, 23 Sep 2008 11:09:00 PST

Tour diary

I spent all last week on the East Coast. We stayed in Boston all week right across from the Boston Common and took the tour bus out to the Cape, as well as up to Hampton Beach, NH, where I managed to ...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:43:00 PST

Headliner!!!

I am proud to announce that I will be headlining the Improv Comedy Club in Ontario, CA on Wednesday, August 27. If you are in the greater Los Angeles area, please stop by. This is my first time headli...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:29:00 PST

Bismark, North Dakota

I'm sitting here in my hotel room in Bismarck, North Dakota after finishing a show down in Minot, (pronounced "my not", also in North Dakota). A couple of weeks ago I pulled some ligaments in my right...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Sat, 02 Aug 2008 01:19:00 PST

Horizontal overachievers

OK, I've received a few letters complaining about me picking on fat people. Let's get one thing clear - I pick on everybody - especially myself. Good comedy stings a little. If I'm not offending a few...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Sat, 02 Aug 2008 01:45:00 PST

Flying the Colors

How cool is the August Edition of Revolver? Syn taking care of business for his old man. Check his shirt out. Achmed the Dead Terrorist rides!!!...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:45:00 PST

Ugly People

Why is it that when you see a good looking couple they always have one baby. Just a handsome guy with his hot milf wife, pushing a stroller with the Gerber baby in it. But when you see an ugly coupl...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:12:00 PST

Mexico

Just got home from Mexico. Playa Del Carmen to be exact, (near Cancun). White sand beaches and turquoise water - amazing - like something out of a movie. It was hot, but we were in the water most of t...
Posted by Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) on Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:42:00 PST