Funki Jimpow

I'd like to meet:

Paddy McAloon, Will Smith, Kylie Minogue, Kirsty Mitchell, Billy Idol, and if I had a Tardis: Richard P. Feynman, Bruce Lee, and the alternate parallel universe version of me! THE 9

Music:

I love most 80's and 90's stuff; Prefab Sprout, Def Leppard, The Damned, Deacon Blue, Billy Idol, Sisters of Mercy, GnR, Heart, Cure, RW, Metallica, Kylie (not for her music!), New Order, Blake Babes, Julian Hatfield, Trash Can Sinatras, Coldplay, Bjork, U2, siouxsie and the banshees, fuzzbox, Madonna, A-ha, Blondie, Bon Jovi, Cult, Queen, Scritti Politti, Marillion, Genesis, INXS, Madness,.... I could go on all day. (And I often do - ask my friends!). Newer stuff - Maroon 5, Green Day, Robbie Williams, Muse, Foo fighters. Yes, believe it or not Billy Idol has a Christmas CD coming out.You can preorder it at www.cdwow.co.uk and get it cheaper than the shops with free postage.The track listing goes something like this:Frosty The Snowman Silver Bells Happy Holiday Merry Christmas Baby White Christmas Here Comes Santa Claus God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen Santa Claus Is Back In Town Let It Snow Winter Wonderland Run Rudolph Run Blue Christmas Jingle Bell Rock Christmas Love O' Christmas Tree Silent Night Auld Lang Syne No, I know it isn't April 1st! THIS IS TRUE.Check out 2 Billy Idol Christmas videos at: www.myspace.com/billyidol

Movies:

The Making of David Hasselhoff's 'Jump In My Car'

Television:

Smallville, Knight Rider!!, Extras, The Office, Teachers, Dr. Who, Match of the Day! Ricky Gervais--Extras Cringe-city. I mean, how bad is it? Will probably get to number one!! Well, maybe in Germany. -actually I think I am being brainwashed, it is starting to get addictive!!

Books:

Anything by Richard FeynmanClick here and don't press the button!!

Heroes:

Paddy McAloon, Richard P. Feynman, Billy Idol, Bruce Lee, Me I guess!! Ha ha.OK, this is the year of the video blog for me so pop back once and a while.Happy New Year!TranscriptionHeckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Mr. P.: Thank you. I don’t know why I’ve been asked to do this?! Heckler 1: You volunteered! Mr. P: inaudible (Mr. P stares at heckler thinking ‘What have I let myself in for?’) Mr. P.: God knows why! Heckler 1: Go on sir! Mr. P.: Where do I begin? Well first of all it’s nice to see everyone. I had terrible trouble getting a dinner jacket for today. I went to all the shops in town, there weren’t many left….. Heckler 1: Whoopidooo! Mr. P.: …..there was one shop though that did have some, all made of stone, and the guy in the shop said to me ‘These are the same ones that Robbie Williams wears’, and I said ‘They may be alright for Robbie Williams, but I don’t want a Rock DJ!’ Heckler 1: Pa dum. Tsshhh! (tries to do a drum impression!) First joke goes down well! Mr. P.: I can’t believe the price I had to pay for a ticket tonight. I thought I was going to get a complementary ticket, you know one of the tickets that at the bottom says ‘You’re looking great mate!’ Play on complementary/complimentary- not sure all of crowd got it judging by response! Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Mr. P.: Anyway I just parked in the car park outside, and someone commented about my driving quite nicely the other day. I went to the Post Office in Llandaff and parked my car outside and popped in and when I came back out someone had left me a nice little note on the windscreen. It said ‘PARKING FINE’, so that was nice! Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Crowd start to warm a little! Mr. P.: Thank you very much. Nice to see so many of my old Maths class here. Put your hands up, who? Crowd cheer. Mr. P.: Well as you know I don’t teach Maths anymore but ….. inaudible… Heckler 1: Crap init? Mr. P.: I knew I was in trouble when on my first day of the new term people thought Geometry was something a Maths teacher climbed up….. Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Audience quiet! RIP joke 1 Mr. P.: …..they thought a polygon was when your pet parrot flies out of the window….. Audience titters. RIP joke 2 Mr. P.: …..they thought Henry VIII invented fractions….. Audience titters, I am dying out there! RIP joke 3 Mr. P.: …..they thought multipliers were something you pulled lots of nails out of the wall with….. Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Audience still to quiet! I start to worry and get the next joke a little backwards! Mr. P.: …..and I knew most of you had a misspent youth because whenever you counted over 10 you went ‘Jack, King, Queen’ Thinking Bo*$ocks to myself! How can I turn the crowd! Just keep going. Mr. P.: OK, being a Maths room on that side of A block it always used to get very very warm in the summer. So we used to open the windows, but because it was a Maths room just a fraction! Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Better audience response! Mr. P.: After lesson 4, being a Maths teacher going down to the canteen my favourite part of the meal was always Pi! Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Some groans. Mr. P.: Maths texts books, they were very unhappy. Piled in the corner covered in dust, very unhappy text books they were. Full of problems! Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Some groans. Can hear some saying ‘Oh God’ Mr. P.: But the worst problem we had with this Maths class was the time that they all started to eat their homework. Well I know I said it was a piece of cake but…! Heckler 1: Pa dum! Audience rumbling! Mr. P.: …and in every class there is always one swot. One swot in every class, isn’t there? Yeah? Personally I like to pick them up and hit flies with them! Heckler 1: Pa dum, tsssss! Audience slightly warming?! Heckler 1:Booooo! Heckler 2: Oh God! Mr. P.: School trips…..I have been on lots of school trips, I loved all school trips especially with Mr. Davies with the highlight of my time skiing and had some brilliant brilliant times and … (pupilsurname) you’re here. Now here is a lad who doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear when he plays rugby. In fact he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words, but he can play rugby! Audience better! Heckler 1: Hoooorraayyyyy! Mr. P.: Mind you I can’t talk, when I was at school I used to play football. They used to call me Cinderella because I used to always used to run away from the ball! Heckler 1: Ha ha ha ha! Mr.P.: Talking of Cinderella, nice to see so many of you have dressed up nicely for this ball. Although I can see a couple of ugly sisters! Audience laughs, my voice nearly went too! Mr.P.: Talking of Disney, my daughter loves watching Disney videos. And her favourite at the moment is Snow White. And at the end of that there is a beautiful song. I don’t know if you know it? It is the one all about the anguish and despair that you feel when you are waiting for your photographs to arrive through the post….. ‘Some day my prints will come’! Prints/prince! Some like it! Heckler 1: That is poor! Heckler 2: That is so poor! .....missing footage…..Mr. P. wishes the Y13 well for the future..... Mr.P.: OK, someone take the mic off me?Please? ….. OK I’ll tell a few more jokes then! Two atoms walk into a bar. One says to the other ‘I think I have lost an electron’, and the other one goes ‘Are you sure?’, ‘Yes I’m positive!’ (Look this up in Science!) Mr.P.: Two boys were arrested by the police the other day, one for drinking battery acid and the other one for eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off! ….. Save yourselves, take the mic off me! Heckler 1: Chuck it sir! Heckler 2: go on! Some calling for even more, these are the drunkest! Heckler 1: Encore! I leave, warm audience reception.

Always leave them wanting more! Yeah right!

YearMiniMatiz

2001..:namespace prefix = o /

£12000

£6000

2002

£11900

£4500

2003

£11750

£3000

2004

£11500

£1500

2005

£11100

£1000

2006

£10500

£500