The Band: two thousand and four years ago, a virgin by the name of Mary was walking through the desert, when the booming voice of God Almighty came thundering from the clouds. "Mary!" God said, "you are damn fine. I'm going to rock your world ten ways from Tuesday." Mary, a women who never felt the warm embrace of any man, was quite excited to be choosen by God.
Now God, being all powerful and all, wasn't one to use a condom. When Mary asked him to wear one he simply responded, "look Mary, I'm omnipotent, I think I'll know when to pull out." This reassured Mary and they continued to do the deed "bareback". Well of course God got really into it and forgot to pull out. Its not that he didnt know when to, he was just really into it and it slipped his mind.
Afterwards, Mary and God had a long talk about their options. God tried to convince Mary to get an abortion but Mary thought it was too risky and decided she was ready to be a mother. God then warned Mary that if she did have his baby it would rock like no other. Mary was confident she could handle it.
Well nine months later Mary was quite surprised to give birth to not one but four baby boys (some reports say there were other, but who knows). And these boys did rock. They rocked in ways that no man ever rocked before. In fact they rocked so hard that the conservative society they lived in couldn't handle it. One prominent leader remarked, "Our sons have quit their jobs and schooling to follow around these rockin' boys of Mary. Our society will fall apart if we don't get rid of them. Surely in no time everyone under thirty will follow them around the country side to listen to them rock all day long."
And so the plan was set in motion to rid the world rock. Mary's five sons were captured and crucified, for the mere crime of rockin the world to pieces.
Well two millenia have past and Mary's sons have returned to once again rock the world to oblivion. Some say they will bring the apocolypse, and they probably will, but first they will rock your world.
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