Ry-Guy - ProfilesArchive

About Me

The videos in my profile and in my Videos page feature some of my amature voice-over work in some fandubs, stage performances, and original projects. Please check 'em out and leave an honest review/critique/whateverthehell if you get the chance - I'm always up for suggestions and whatnot.
HowManyOfMe.com
There are:
812
people with my name
in the U.S.A.
How many have your name?
- My LiveJournal: http://lionelrguy.livejournal.com -
- Find me on Facebook; either at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=696931473 , or just search for "Ryan H. Nelson" in the Milwaukee, WI network.
Ok, first, a little note: I've been asked by some why I don't get a more personalized, fancy profile, with a rad background and whatnot. The answer is simple: simplicity. Don't get me wrong, I can definitely appreciate the effort put into a lot of the profiles around here, but the problem is, when all is said and done, you come damn-close to having a seizure trying to read it. Either that, or your computer freezes up from trying to handle all the spinning pictures and crazy fonts and all the other wacky lights and sounds that might be cool if they weren't so busy giving you an aneurysm from trying to take it all in. So yeah, on top of the fact that I'm just a lazy bastard in the first place (as the LiveJournal community can attest to), I figure that if anybody is gonna take a couple minutes to go through the harrowing process of reading my dumb shit, I may as well make this as easy as possible on 'em [as though that makes things any better, really].
---------- Anyway, on to the good shit [pretending, of course, that there really IS any]. ----------
Wow. I'm Ryan H. Nelson. Holy fucking shit. ..... ok, all excitement aside, it's hard to say here what hasn't already been said to death everywhere else on this damn page. My name's Ryan H. Nelson, I'm 2-goddamn-4, and I recently moved to Kenosha, WI. I've been described by my buddy Kevin as "emo, but without all the things that piss me off about emo people". I sing quite a bit - I've played with such awesome acts as Los Dos, Tangled Strings, A Little Bit Of R&R, and Society 72 - and am currently looking for a new band(s) to create with. Thanks to a string of f***ing worthless jobs over the last year (either cuz they stabbed me in the back, other jobs interfered, just not a job I belonged doing in the first place, or cuz they had too much trouble getting me my checks on time and in the proper amount), I WAS firmly planted as a DJ with Party Pros (a division of MSEntertainment), but Michael Scott, the owner, is a fucking scheming loser with no redeeming values, and I shall no longer allow myself to be associated with him. DO NOT plan your parties and weddings with them, as he will charge you for services he has no intention of delivering. And BY NO MEANS should you EVER consider working as a DJ for him, as he will leave you hanging when you need him and leave you pay-less when you need groceries and gas to GET TO the shows he's not paying you for in the first place. Unless you LOVE getting ripped off like you wouldn't believe, then having your boss THREATEN you for no sane reason, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MICHAEL SCOTT AND PARTY PRO'S!!! My 4 heroes in comedy are George Carlin, Chris Rock, Bill Cosby, and Robin Williams, with Stephen Lynch, Rodney Carrington, Ron White, Larry The Cable Guy, Lewis Black, Bill Hicks, and Jeff Dunham definitely earning their keep as well. I tend to be incredibly - almost BRUTALLY - honest with people, and expect the same in return; if there's a problem that needs to be fixed, then I would want to be told so, rather than let it linger and get worse to the point of exploding or ruining friendships and relationships - if you have a suggestion on something I should work on with my music, then I want to hear it, so I can improve and kick a little ass down the road, rather than have everybody go "Oh, you're so talented, that's awesome!" if I really suck. Not to say I'll be absolutely insulting about things (i.e. "You fucking suck!"), but I just refuse to sugarcoat it, cuz that doesn't help anybody. So yeah, if I say something, I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm trying to help. I've lost too many close, important people in my life to play fucking games with people and not tell them how much they really mean to me. Also, in case you haven't noticed, I'm really good at not knowing when to shut the hell up and let folks wonder a little. So yeah, I'll leave it at that, for the moment.
Your results:
You are Green Lantern Green Lantern 95% Spider-Man 75% The Flash 70% Superman 65% Hulk 65% Iron Man 65% Supergirl 60% Wonder Woman 55% Robin 55% Batman 35% Catwoman 35% Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

My Interests

Hm...... I can kinda fake it on all the other specific lists, but this one's just so vague and wide-open. Shit. Um, ok, let's see..............

Well, I definitely enjoy singing. Soon as I can finally get a new, solid band together, hopefully it can become more than a mere hobby in karaoke joints. I needn't bother listing my musical and whatnot interests, as those're listed [excessively] below.

.... what the hell else............

OH, I fucking LOVE spaghetti. Best damn food you'll ever find. Then again, damn-near ANYTHING with pasta rocks nads. So yeah. When I'm not busy being poor no matter how hard I bust my ass, or being a drunken bunghole in the bars with my alcoholic brothas and sistas, I like to vedge the hell out of myself and just listen to some music, watch some damn-good TV, chat with my peeps (Rest assured, that is the one and only time I shall ever use the word "peeps". Unless we're talkin' about those little marshmallow Easter candies. In which case I'll probably capitalize the first P, cuz I'm a geek. Though I highly prefer Cadbury Creme Eggs, anyway.), work on projects on my comp (stories, fandubs, music, my LiveJournal, etc.), or play the bejeezus out of some Nintendo/PS2 - anything with Mega Man in it is guaranteed more than its fair share of playtime. To even out the lazining, I enjoy getting my out-of-shape ass to the gym, or getting more recreational with some Tae-Kwon-Do (I've a blackbelt) or Ultimate Frisbee.

I could go on much longer, but in all likelihood, you're pretty damn sick of this already, so yeah. Consider yerself warned; if, after reading all this, you STILL wanna talk to me..... well, fuck, you asked for it.

I'd like to meet:

... well, pretty much just anybody who doesn't suck. Basically, with me, you're "friend until proven enemy". Anybody who loves music, and is interested in getting a band together is not only more than WELCOME to get in touch, but is highly ENCOURAGED. Anybody wantin' to talk about damn near anything - music, gaming, VA'ing, comics, movies, comedians, etc. - feel free to drop me a line. Basically, anybody willing to waste a few minutes of their lives talking to my dumb ass..... deserves a fair shot.

Music:

I'm a lead singer, and I'm currently searching for a band to kick some ass with. Sad to say, it's troublesome when, out of all the awesome, competition-winning groups I've played with, not one of them can stay together longer'n a year or so. So yeah, we'll just have to wait and see how this pans out...

As far as what I listen to, I find great inspiration in such artists as Incubus (a.k.a. "The Greatest F***ing Band On Earth"), Hoobastank, Foo Fighters, Staind, limpbizkit, 12 Stones, TRUSTcompany, Trapt, Evanescence, Live, Oasis, Fivespeed, lostprophets, Revis, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Sevendust, Vertical Horizon, Green Day, AudioVent, Linkin Park, Goo Goo Dolls, Lionel Richie/The Commodores (no, he's not the reason behind my Lionel R. Guy screenname), The Exies, Richard Marx, Matchbox 20, Orgy, Offspring, Snot, Collective Soul, Muse, Crossfade, Autopilot Off, Filter, Nickelback, Tonic, Our Lady Peace, The Gufs, Stone Sour, Chicago, Bloodhound Gang, Crystal Method, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aerosmith, Showtaro, Tenacious D, Eminem, 311, Seether, Classic IV, Blindside, Chevelle, Pressure 4-5, Stone Temple Pilots, Stabbing Westward, Nine Inch Nails, Rufio, Finch, 30 Seconds To Mars, Saosin, Dave Matthews Band, Duran Duran (yeah yeah, yuk it up), Edwin McCain, Blink 182, Summercamp, Ron Wasserman/Aaron Waters/The Mighty RAW, Marvin Gaye, Isaac Hayes, Michael Jackson, Mozart (yes..... Mozart), and the ever-classic Sir Mix-A-Lot, among other artists I'll probably remember eventually. Many apologies if I repeated anything, cuz my lazy ass ain't about to double-check or alphabetize. I also enjoy checkin' out some of the local talent - Marashino, Repertoire, Way To Fall, Elixr, Lithic, Guilt Trip, Greenstreet, and CRK (no, Rob, I will NOT say what those letters mean) are definitely worth givin' a listen to.

Movies:

My all-time favorite movie is, believe it or not (yeah, like any of you f***ing DOUBT it), the 1st "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie. It had everything; awesome acting, a dark gripping story, gut-pokingly laughable humor, heart-squeezing brotherhood and love, people beating the crap out of each other, and, of course, Donatello. XD
My 2nd favorite movie, and funniest movie I've ever seen, is "BASEketball". Slapstick comedy, Zucker style. Trey Parker and Matt Stone (creators of South Park) as the stars, with appearances from Jenny McCarthy, Yasmine Bleeth, Robert Vaughn, Ernest Borgnine, Kato Kaelin, Reggie Jackson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Dale Earnhardt, Al Michaels, Bob Costas, Dan Patrick, Kenny Mayne, Victoria Silvsteadt, and Dian Bachar as Squeak "Little Bitch" Scolari. Oh-so quotable, and you'll never find yourself NOT laughing.
3rd favorite is "Office Space". Won't bother explainin' it, since anybody who's cool already knows that movie damn well. XD
Among the top movies you've probably never heard of is "Casshern", which has a compelling story that will change the way you look at your life, shocking visuals and effects, one of the best soundtracks you'll ever lay your ear on, and fight scenes that would make "The Matrix" shit itself. Unfortunately, it's all in Japanese, and the official American release cut out roughly half the movie and altered it to the point of completely bastardizing the original film, so I'd have to recommend going to a specialty place to find it, but by dammit IT'S WORTH IT!
After that, my other top picks are "Kung Fu Hustle", "Jackass: Number Two", "Jackass: The Movie", "Shaolin Soccer", "Rudy", "Bad Santa", "X2: X-Men United", "Spider-Man 2", "Porky's", "Weekend At Bernie's" 1 & 2, "The Green Mile", "Forrest Gump", "Akira", "Boondock Saints", "The One", "American Mullet", "Borat", "Napoleon Dynamite", "Terminator 2", "Beavis & Butt-Head Do America", "Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior", "Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle", "Home Alone" 1 & 2, the "Street Fighter 2" anime movie, "Dirty Work", any number of "Monty Python" movies, and "Spaceballs", with a couple more to add, probably, if'n I could remember 'em at the moment.

Television:

"Beavis & Butt-Head" = the greatest show in history. If for no other reason than that the Great Cornholio is the single greatest character ever created. Shakespeare doesn't have SHIT on Cornholio.
Another instant classic: "MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge". So simple, yet so perfect. And it stars everybody's favorite pit-helmet-wearing Japanese pervert, Guy LeDouche.
Lastly, a new fave: "Shin-Chan", a show about a kid who likes to dance without any pants on, his mother with a boob-job-jar, his dad who dreams of being a monkey, his TV-hero Action Bastard, his 2 female admirers who fight over who gets to be which Olsen twin..... good lord, putting it into words does it no justice. Easily the best one-liners on television;
- Shin: "I can't help it; I have to feed my hunger!"
- friend's mom: "Yeah, I'd like to feed your hunger some ground glass."
Instant-classic-dom.
Other great shows: Family Guy, Megas XLR, Married With Children, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, Robot Chicken, Digimon, TMNT, The Surreal Life, Ren & Stimpy, Mystery Science Theater 3000, WildBoyz, Jackass, Gigantor, Moral Orel, In Living Color, Transformers: Beast Wars, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Joe Schmo Show, Reno 911, Chapelle's Show, Power Rangers (damn the haters!), The Critic, and the ever-wonderful The Kids In The Hall.

Books:

George Carlin's "Braindroppings", "Napalm & Silly Putty", and "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?". Three pieces of literature that truly needed to be written. Pure genius. As though one could possibly expect anything less from the brilliant Mr. Carlin, the absolute greatest comedian ever (number 2 my ass, Comedy Central).
Also of interest is any Beavis & Butt-Head book, such as "The B&B Ensucklopedia" and "This Sucks, Change It". And, of course, do not overlook the "The Darwin Awards" series. It reminds us how many astonishingly stupid people are out there, how much smarter than them we are, and how much better off we are without them. Reassuring, really.
Any copy or collection of "The Onion" is always a guaranteed great read. If you're an Incubus fan *raises hand* then you'll enjoy "White Fluffy Clouds" by Brandon Boyd, a book of his art and poetry and whatnot. Drew Carey's "Dirty Jokes And Beer" and Lewis Black's "Nothing's Sacred"'re suretainly worth a read.
And, of course, being the geekish bunghole that I am, I have gotten back into my old habit of comic book collecting, especially any X-Men title (Gambit and Nightcrawler rock nads), Green Lantern, much of the Ultimate Marvel line, select Batman and Spidey picks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, some Digimon and Mega Man manga, and a bit of Robin lately, for some damn reason.
Finally, I guess check out "The Badass Bible", "Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book", Maddox's "The Alphabet Of Manliness", and "Fielder's Choice".

Heroes:

Incubus, Joe Madureira, George Carlin, Derek Stephen Prince, Steven Jay Blum, David Yost/Billy the original Blue Ranger, Chris Rock, Bill Cosby, Robin Williams, Stephen Chow, Tony Jaa, Chris Pontius, Donatello, Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise (discluding the fact that they've both become slightly nutty over the last couple years), Gambit, Nightcrawler, Shin Nohara, Guy LeDouche, and of course Beavis (especially as The Great Cornholio). Oh yeah, and my brother, Big, when he actually has his act together, I guess. I'll think of more, believe you me.

My Blog

09/26/07 - A 21-LightGun Salute To Aladdins Castle...

... dude. Okay, so yeah, I know I've been far from timely with entries/updates lately, and most of the recent news will have to remain on hold for at least a little while longer (a.k.a. a LOT while lo...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 08:59:00 PST

05/03/07 - Vote for Ry-Guy to be on the next "Real World" and Stuff!!!

Hey, folks, LOVE Ry-Guy to death, and want to help him achieve a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? HATE Ry-Guy with every ounce of your being, and want to get him out of your life for a couple months w...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Thu, 03 May 2007 10:12:00 PST

02/09/07 - It's official: Ry-Guy's a hero!!!

That's right, folks: it is my proud duty to announce that your friendly neighborhood Ry-Guy is now revered as a bonafide all-American HERO! But hey, 1 man has to have the courage to stand...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 10:04:00 PST

01/22/07 - Ry-Guy notices the damndest things.

So yeah, things've been fucking ridiculous of late. The new year's been kind of off to a decentish start, I s'pose, but overall I've been finding that logic is lacking in la vida de Ry-Guy. Almost all...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 02:52:00 PST

11/15/06 - ............. huh.

No.No, this is not the full update dealie.I know.I can feel your heart shattering.I can't fall fast enough to catch it as it sinks into the abyss of..... ......... something..............................
Posted by Ry-Guy on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 02:41:00 PST

10/04/06 - Where do I get off calling THIS an UPDATE???

Ry-Guy: "Hey bro, mind if I stop by for an hour or so?"Kevin: "Sure dude, what's goin' on?"Ry-Guy: "Agh, I'm just acting like a little bitch about something, and I need to talk to someone with a brain...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 11:49:00 PST

06/06/06 - No, for fuck's sake, I'm not DEAD! ...... jeez!

(... though yes, my actually updating this thing IS a sign of the coming apocalypse, even moreso than the appropriately-numbered posting date that I just this very moment noticed) That's right, contra...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Tue, 06 Jun 2006 06:08:00 PST

01/08/06 - Methinks Ry-Guy's a tad smitten.

... dammit, I've been wanting to write for MONTHS now about how full of shit people are and how many of my limits stupid f***ing people are pushing....... but I can't stay pissed for more'n a few minu...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 03:36:00 PST

12/06/05 - Real update comin' sometime this week or next. In the meantime.....

Little Known Chuck Norris Facts:1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.2. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of hi...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Tue, 06 Dec 2005 03:03:00 PST

10/21/05 - Larry Behrendt is an alcoholic.

*counts down the hours to his birthday..........*..... In other news, you ever go to grab something out of the refridgerator, stand there bent over and confused for a second, searching, then realize y...
Posted by Ry-Guy on Fri, 21 Oct 2005 07:29:00 PST