Monster♥

Hi, Im Jessica but you can call me Jayka.
I was born on May 13th.
Im a vegetarian.^-^
I Dont Have A Religion But sometimes I wonder if there is A God
I can't seem to find him in this world of mine
So don't shove your beliefs down my throat, your just wasting your time.
I Love Candy apples
im a very stubborn person.
It's hard to convince me unless you have candy of course.:]
Im not apart of the world, I just live in it.
You can talk shit all you want,it only makes me more popular
I need more haterz
Judge me all you want, it doesnt bother me,besides, who are you to judge?
Don't tell me what kind of person i am
Your labels can't define the person that ive become
Im a straight up honest person
Sometimes I need to just stfu.
I believe that broken people attract broken people
Im a really down to Earth person
I find the ugly things in life beautiful
I think the love of my life is music
I want to become a Theatrical and Performance Make-Up Artist
Don't call me a bad influence, its not my fault if you pick up on my habits.
yes i smoke and drink get over it
Get to know me before you say some stupid shit about me behind my back
I reply to everything so don't be shy and not talk to me and think im a stuck up bitch because im not.:]
June 10th 4:37 a.m - So Today sucked. All I did was chill at my house with Jack. I haven't sleep yet. I mean who is awake at this time sitting infront of their computer drinking coffee? Today I relize who my true homies are and who are really fake.I can't believe i never seen this before in those certain people.It's weird because i tend to see alot of peoples flaws but i also see the perfect things in them.So yeah my Mom was basically wasted all day today.It was actually kinda funny.lol.But yeah hopefully tomorrow will be eventful. Oh and Happy Birthday to Tanner even though i know he doesn't give a fuck.ha.who would have thought?
June 10th 9:48 p.m. - Wow, today has been the longest day of my whole life.Jack Jack and I stayed up until about 11:45 this morning.We woke up yesterday at like 12 so yeah i was awake forever.It was cool though cause we called Pam about 7 this morning and went and hung out with her. I'd have to say today was pretty eventful.We are about to go hangout with my good buddy Ben Jamin.I love him to death. I haven't seen him in forever.So yeah i hope tonight is fun. Who knows.
June 11th 9:11 p.m. -SO yeah im blazed as fuck right now.ha.So last night i hungout with Ben and Jack.Wow. We drank Voldka and Ben was so wasted that he was all driving crazy. I was having fun but yet i was afraid we were going to die. He almost flipped his truck and hit a stop sign and lets not forget, some dudes truck.lol. It was fun though. Fritch sucks,I don't know why i hungout there.
June 14th 3:51 - ha.Lately all i have been doing is getting high. Im just wasting my life away.Im starting to relize who matters and who doesn't. I atleast went and applied for a job yesterday.Hopefully i get hired. But today is really upsetting. My grandmother died last night in her sleep. Atleast she died peacefully. Im really going to miss her. I loved her alot.She was one of the only people who truly believed in me.She seen past all my flaws and instead of telling me all the bad things about me,she told me all the good things she seen in me.I just wish my mom could see those things in me. But we all know thats never going to happen.Everytime i seen her she was so happy. I just can't believe she past away. I didn't even get to tell her i love her one more time.I didn't even get to say Goodbye.
June 15th 2:02 p.m. -So I don't really remember what i did yesterday.I just know that i got really baked with my homies.ha.I think im still a little high. Today feels hopeless.I don't know why but it does. Lately things have been depressing. But i always hide my depression but somehow some of my friends can tell. I don't really know anymore. So tomorrow im going to go see if i got the job i wanted. Atleast im doing something right. I think? ahhh who knows.I feel so ugly. I need to loose some weight. Maybe then i can finally have someone like me. But who knows. Maybe im just going to be ugly all the time no matter what.ha.
June 22 12:47 a.m. - So lately i have been very busy. I haven't updated in awhile. So yeah i finally got a job. It cool except for this annoying guy i work with. I was off today but all i did was mainly sleep. Jack went home today so im like really lonely without her here. But i really don't know. I think im going threw a depression stage right now. Im just not so happy anymore. Well i haven't been but lately i just don't give a fuck. I wish i could tell some people how i truly feel about them. I know that i will have to eventually. Last night i fucked my knee up because i fell down some steps at C's house. It kinda hurt.lol. L was all laughing at me. I love her to death though.ha. But Hopefully tomorrow will be hopeful.
July 1st 6:20 p.m. - Drama Drama Drama!! thats all thats been happening to me lately. It's over some stupid shit too. But i don't know. Alot of things got said and there has been alot of miscommunication. So yeah i don't know whose lying. I don't know who to believe.UGH! fuck. But anyways, I haven't been on myspace alot lately because i haven't been around a computer and i've been looking for a new job. Hell, I haven't even went home because my parents are bitchez. I just wish my step dad would fucking leave and never come back. My mom was a way better and more caring person than she is now. Now she is just a stupid bitch who only cares about her fucking self and my step dad. She chooses him over me and my bro.It's bullshit. So yeah i left cause my step dad told me to get the fuck out of his house so i left.Now my mom is all saying a ran away and is all trying to act like she cares.pffft.It's whatever though.They can fuck off and burn in hell.But im doing well on my own.It's hard but im doing it. But shit lately has been crazy. Things have been more depressing. I miss alot of my friends that are in rehab. I love them all so much. Im thinking about just cutting off my friendship with everyone and just being alone.Things are always my fault and if there is no one to blame just go ahead and say its my fault.I don't need your self pity and sympathy, I also don't need you to acception or approval.I don't care more. But fuck all this shit. I really don't know how much more i can take.I'll update when i can.
July 9th 11:51 p.m. - So yeah lately things have been good and bad. I still haven't went home. My cousin told me today that my mom misses me.ha. that's like the funniest thing i've ever heard in my whole damn life. So i've been working and chillin with my friends. Then out of no where Laken is all up in my face telling me that im talking shit and im not. Im fucking tired of people telling other people im talking shit when im not.fuck.it pisses me off so fucking bad. Why can't people find something else better to do then start drama?fuck. But it's whatever. I don't want to have no part in it cause i didn't do shit. But yeah im going to go to smoke a cig and i'll update tomorrow.Hopefully.

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"
- Alice in Wonderland