Bane The Despoiler profile picture

Bane The Despoiler

Returns the one for years forgotten...The Bitter One of ruin begotten...The Despoiler arrives!

About Me

I go by many names. I started off as Jason Flynt and Derek Flynt, for I go by my first name as well as my middle name. That strikes fear in the hearts of men. But not nearly as much as when I take on the mantle of The Despoiler...Bane The Despoiler! That causes not only the shuddering of the world but also a wailing and a gnash of teeth. You see Bane The Despoiler is a force not only to be reckoned with, but one which cannot be reckoned with. Not even by robots. I don't care how many of them they use. Let me make something very clear to all of you. Bane The Despoiler wears a mask. A scary one. And on top of that he wears a helmet. Now people can see the horns coming out of the top but what they don't realize is there are horns on the inside of it too. On the INSIDE! And he has never died or become inflicted with pain even with those horns crushed to his skull. Do you want to know why? Because they break...shatter...crumble...and fall as dust to the ground against the very might of his skull (my skull. Sometimes I talk in third person and I DARE someone to stop me). Anyway, the horns, they crumble...the ones on the inside. And do you know what? Bane has new ones installed every time, just to make himself laugh every time this happens. This has been unkown up until now, but the time has come to toot one's own horn (I bet I get a lot of LOL's from THAT joke). Enough about the helmet, Bane also wears a cloak. An ancient one which today would probably cost near the thirty dollar mark in the shoppes. It is an integral part of the manifestation. And the axe. What needs to be said about it? It is a magic axe. It plays music for crying out loud. Invisible music. And it is NEVER out of tune. Oh yeah, and it can also be used as a weapon in extreme circumstances...and ALL circumstances stand a chance of becoming very extreme...maybe not Xtreme, but extreme for certain. Oh, and Bane also carries with him a skull. It is a skull of the vanquished. One of many. So, the points you all need to remember are the wailing and gnashing of teeth thing, the mask, the hemet with the horns on the outside AND the inside, the cloak, the axe, and the skulls of the vanquished. Actually, remember all of it. It's important. Go read it again.
You Are 76% Evil
You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot. How Evil Are You?
You Are Scary
You even scare scary people sometimes! How Scary Are You?
You Are 52% Abnormal
You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.
You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.
You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.
You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.
You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer. How Abnormal Are You?
You Are 72% Gentleman
You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners.
Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices! Are You A Gentleman?
I am Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!
Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you?? Bane The Despoiler --
[adjective]:
Extremely dominant
'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com
Which Thundercat are you? Your Result: Tygra

You are Tygra. Without you there would be no Cat's Lair. Under you guidance the Robear Berbils constructed Cat's Lair in only three days. Tygra's flaming/exploding bolo-whip is a formidable weapon. With it Tygra can become invisible to almost any Third Earth being. Tygra's agility and cunning help him in times of battle and make him an invaluable asset to the team.


Jaga
Cheetara
Panthro
Lion-O
WillyKat
Snarf
WillyKit
Which Thundercat are you?

My Interests

Heavy Metal, Axes, Fjords, Longboats, Villages, Pillages, Pillaging Villages, Helmet Horns, War Hammers, Battle Cries, The horns that are blown at the beginning of a pillage, Sea Serpents, Sea Dragons, Swords, Hand to Hand Combat for when all weapons have been snapped in twain...the list goes on and on.

I'd like to meet:

Meet for what purpose? Meet in battle? Meet after battle to divide the bounty (booty)? Meet at the pub after battle to toast our victory? I'm afraid you must be more clear.

Music:

Iron Maiden, Bruce Dickinson, Judas Priest, Halford, Blind Guardian, Gamma Ray, Iced Earth, Demons and Wizards, Helloween, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, Gwar, 3 Inches of Blood, All That Remains, Trivium, Dio, X Cops, Lojaque and The Flaming Nahdbits, Anthrax, Alice Cooper, Borknagar, Blaze, Wolfsbane, Faith No More, WASP, Savatage, In Flames, Sum 41, Slayer, Rush, Queensryche, Megadeth, Motorhead, Metal Church, Misfits, Cal Hopkin's Amish Armada, Avenged Sevenfold, Demon Hunter, Killswitch Engage, Devil Driver, Tool, System of a Down, Spinal Tap, Pantera, Ramones, Metallica (up to a certain time period of course), Manowar (how the hell did I forget to add that one earlier??), AC/DC, Kiss, Danzig, Mastodon, Tenacious D, Rigor Mortis, Dave Brockie Experience, Twisted Sister, Into Eternity, The Independents, DVDA, Pink Floyd, The Rutles, Suicidal Tendencies, Immortal, Dimmu Borgir (these guys make me chuckle), Cradle Of Filth (they're just downright silly), Ray Stevens, White Zombie, Rob Zombie ..........there's more, but I'm tired of thinking, I'll put more later. This isn't in order of best to worst, if it were then the Nahdbits would obviously go at the top.

Movies:

A lot. Too many to name, but I'll tell you this much - Big Trouble In Little China goes right at the top of the list. For real......here's more. I'll occasionally add to it - Erik The Viking, Yellowbeard, All the Monty Pyhon stuff, .....much more.

Television:

Arrested Development, Mr. Show, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad!, The Office (both versions), My Name Is Earl, Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Wrestling, Boxing, The Tick (mainly the cartoon, but also the live action series), Freakazoid, Earthworm Jim, Samurai Jack, Mr. Bean, Black Adder, The Thin Blue Line, The Young Ones, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Dr Katz, South Park, Reno 911, Frasier, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, The Oblongs ...... much more.

Books:

America The Book, The Onion.....some other books.

Heroes:

The Tick! He's nigh-invulnerable! I also like villains. Why isn't there a Villains catagory???

My Blog

Gods of War

I must discuss the new Manowar album Gods of War. I don't usually do this review thing but let's consider the circumstances here. As you all know I am a viking. Well, I wear the helmet anyway. I have ...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 08:41:00 PST

Radio commercials are much worse than television.

Those Verizon radio commercials need to stop. I mean it. How many damn times to we have to hear a different commercial where someone says "So I dial her, I dial her, I dial her, I dial her, I dial her...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:32:00 PST

What does that song mean?

Every now and then I view a website that people use to post their thoughts on the meanings of certain songs by certain artists. Because lets face it, sometimes you're like "what the hell are they talk...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 12:21:00 PST

Why?

Why the hell do I keep logging on to find that I have a new message only to go to my inbox and see that the new message is from  "Profile has been deleted"? That's getting remotherfuckingdiculous...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Sun, 10 Dec 2006 02:22:00 PST

Erased

I just started a blog. I didn't like it. So I deleted most of it and started over. Then I just said "fuck it" and deleted the whole thing. It wasn't funny, it was a serious one. And I've nev...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Sat, 25 Nov 2006 01:20:00 PST

Checkers

I'm pissed off at the game of Checkers. I don't thnk you should have to take jumps that are available to you. That's a bullshit rule. Why can't you bide your time? I think the rules should be changed,...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 01:59:00 PST

The Axe Reforged

I've spent the evening restoring the axe to it's former glory, for it has seen many battles and had sustained damage. Fortunately I am also a blacksmith and was able to begin the process of reforging....
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Sun, 15 Oct 2006 01:10:00 PST

Rockstar

I knew it would fucking happen. That god awful band Nickelback's song Wanna Be a Rockstar or whatever it's called got to number 1 on the stupid local Buzz radio station's request list. This is the wor...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 02:28:00 PST

New GWAR album is here.

Remember when I talked a while back about this album being released? Well it's here now. And it's fan-fucking-tastic. So go buy it. I know most of you won't but anyway...The boys have gone to Hell and...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Fri, 01 Sep 2006 11:27:00 PST

Lips of an Angel sucks (the song, you damn heathens)

It's nothing new that the majority of today's music sucks. Today's music has sucked for a long time. Which means yesterday's music sucked. Not every single bit, but a good chunk. I've given it some th...
Posted by Bane The Despoiler on Fri, 11 Aug 2006 01:28:00 PST