About Me

Well, i've finally got round to doing this!! I've been sat staring at the computer screen for a few weeks now hoping that someone would offer to type this thing out for me. From reading that you might think i'm a bit lazy; lazy is a bit of an understatement... I've been robbing a living for the last 10 or so years, i'm constantly looking over my shoulder to see if i'm going to be found out! I have a rather unhealthy interest in David Hasselhoff; i cried the night i saw him being wheeled away from his flight back to America with piss stains on his trousers. How the mighty have fallen...I like to sit about conserving my energy thinking of ways i can improve my beauty routines... what harm is there in trying to improve what God has already given me? (Cheers, G!). My bathroom cabinet looks like its been sponsored by Laboratoire Garnier and you'd be forgiven for thinking i'm gay, but i'm not... ish. I'm constantly ducking out of any hard work (or any work, come to think of it), getting the boys in to renovate my house and then moaning about the quality of the work they've done. Its easier that way as it means i don't have to take them out like i promised!! The fools! Unlucky boys, you've been merc'd!!!Oh and i just love 'hammering' people.

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My Interests

Do i have to have one??? I'm a very happy and contented person, some might say simple but i prefer uncomplicated..... I have got an interest, actually; i like stuff that is very cheap or free, although i will happily purchase goods that i will never use as long as i can put them into my shed (that my pals built while i was supposed to be sorting out a barbecue...mugs!!! When will they learn?). Hang about... i love my car, i think there should be a seperate section for cars; mine is a Toyota Celica. I got it imported; you might have realised that i like looking good for little outlay. My next car will be a Ferrari F40 based on a Cortina Chassis.....it will be trick. I'll redeem myself here, i'll happily purchase anti-wrinkle cream although if it has 30% off i'll still buy it.

I'd like to meet:

Jeremy Spake, Andy Bell (of Erasure), George Michael (in a public toilet), Graham Norton, Brian Dowling. I'm thinking of getting a hot tub in my back garden.. all of these would be welcome at the grand unveiling party. I'd better start warming up the goose fat! Speaking of fat, i also have a fascination with Michelle McManus.....i'd just love to get my hands on that, if someone had my handwritting all over her it would be her, and boy it would be a lot of handwritting, lets hope she shows willing....i'd be so f**king into that!!!

Music:

obviously the Hoff, Plump DJ's, Audio Bullys, Shed 7, Tricky, 5 Star, Bros, Will Young also has a very unique voice, i like him. Nearly forgot Hansen, Big Fun, Sonia, Jason Donovan. Well basically anything they play in the Litten Tree, i do live in Brentwood you know.

Movies:

I like the VHS that came with my clippers, great film... I'm trying to get it on DVD to no avail, so if you have a copy don't be shy let me have it....the DVD. Love Grease and Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Titanic, My Best Friends Wedding

Television:

Anything starring and/or written by David Hasselhoff. Actually, pretty much anything thats on. I've even been known to watch the same episode of a programme back to back on more than 1 occasion. Thank God for Sky+!!! I love the history Channel too, if only it was more up to date. OK then i'll watch the Nazi's again! Dawson Creek

Books:

Knight Rider Annual '86... for the pictures, like. I can't remember the last time i read a book as i like to wait for the film to come out.

Heroes:

The Hoff, his stylist on Knight Rider, Al Pacino, Moley, Body Poppin' Peter Crouch... he has a lovely physique....just like mine, if only i could attract the ladies like him. I'd even be happy to get in the showers at liverpool FC with him.

Darren

I'll do it later...........