Mr. Jones profile picture

Mr. Jones

I am here for Friends

About Me

Jones is gonna shut you down. He got a funny little face, but his body don't quit and every time he comes around... he gives a wiggle and a wink, but he don't give a shit about anybody else but himself No, he doesn't care for nobody else. It's just "Me, me me me" He's so...selfish

My Interests

I like stuff. I like Great White sharks and baseball. I like ham, especially the Honeybaked variety, and I also like to talk about all sorts of things. I also write a blog...why don't you read it?

I'd like to meet:

THE SON OF MANCharles Manson

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Music:

Music is for suckers. I like some mellow, easy listening type stuff, but I certainly don't take it seriously, and I don't use it to define myself. Maybe you should spend more time learning something usefull instead of trying to sound all cool by listing your shitty musical tastes.I expand this theory...in my blog. Go read it.

Movies:

Movies are okay if they're on my television. But if I have to go to an actual theatre and sit amongst you and your inappropriate love for music...well, I'd rather die.And my blog is better than any movie...'cause it's like a bunch of little movies...or one great big movie. A movie that you read.

Television:

I enjoy television.And I have mentioned that in my blog...yeah, the blog that for some reason you refuse to read...Man, you're a fucking dick.

Books:

Books are for suckers...I read that somewhere.And you could have read it, if you had read my blog...but you just think you're so hot shit...Fuck you, I don't even want you to read my blog now.

Heroes:

My wife.See...you could have been here if you had read my blog...but you didn't. And so you only have yourself to blame.

My Blog

The Pants, the pants, the pants are on fire!

Do you like sitcoms?Think about this...the crux of every classic sitcom is lying.You can start at The Honeymooners and go through I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, Three...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 11:26:00 PST

For the record...

In case you were wondering, it is now okay to "Mess with Texas."You can also tease Rhode Island, and flat out fuck with Oregon.It's perfectly legal!
Posted by Mr. Jones on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 09:52:00 PST

Halloween (Retard Night)

It's Halloween.I'm sitting in my house, in the dark. No light from within my house is visible to the world outside, because I have no lights on. My porch light is not on, and we don't even have street...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 07:42:00 PST

Lighten up...have fun.

The next time you hear some dipshit talking about "Living for today" ask them if they have anything set aside for retirement. If they say yes, punch them in the throat.When they stop gasping for air a...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 01:00:00 PST

The Supremely Rocking Court

So the other night I'm dancing with Ruth Bader Ginsburg in an abandoned warehouse (I was doing the robot)And I said,"Hey Ruthie...what's your favorite Stooges album?"She had no idea what I was talking...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:21:00 PST

Well Enough...Leave it Alone

So I'm going through the most popular blogs and I stop by Belladonna's blog. She is a porn star and she always has one of the most popular blogs.And I have to tell you, after reading her blog a few mo...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 09:34:00 PST

Flashback

An old friend of mine just sent this to me. Blew me away.Here are some of my oldest and dearest friends...when we were young.The big guy is Pete Moss aka Paul NiklewiczThe guy in the red shi...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Sat, 27 Oct 2007 08:19:00 PST

Old Man take a look at my life...

Getting older has some great advantages.As I age I am able to really focus my hatred. I no longer have the energy to simply hate everything willy-nilly. Because of this, I have to choose what it is I'...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Fri, 26 Oct 2007 10:29:00 PST

Get a rope...a really long rope.

I have decided that the Jack in the Box mascot guy is a condescending yuppie dickhead.If you ain't with me, you're against me.There is no middle ground here!
Posted by Mr. Jones on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 03:26:00 PST

All Roads Lead to Jones

Just more proof of my powers of inspiration:1975 - Joe Walsh asks me, "How's life?"I reply, "It's been good to me...so far."1971 - While talking to Hoyt Axton, I mention that while I had never actuall...
Posted by Mr. Jones on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:01:00 PST