Ashley Reaks (Comedy) profile picture

Ashley Reaks (Comedy)

Punk comedy

About Me

Art
Music
Website
'One of the funniest men at loose in his own clothes, his is a Northern English nightmare of puppets, explosions, mental illness, wigs, music and sausage fat. He is unlike any other performer you have ever seen. If you enjoy masochistic laughter: weeping, aching ribs, stomach cramps and peeing yourself, hey, come on down!' - Blang!
'A Northern English nightmare of masks, explosions, football results, The Grumbleweeds, The Royle Family, senility and childhood' - 12 Bar Club, London
I reluctantly left my mum’s womb on a cold winter’s evening in 1966 in Harrogate, a small town in North Yorkshire in England.I attended prep school where I excelled at Latin and was a promising cricketer.From a young age I began to spend a lot of time imagining I was someone else.In 1978 I went to the local all-boys public school, which was to play a crucial part in my lack of emotional developmentI fell in love with the ‘Do-It-Yourself’ ethos of punk rock and began to make art and music without any semblance of ability.I found my spiritual home in The Ramones’ world of cretins, geeks, weirdos and pinheads.I borrowed my dad’s bass guitar and formed a band, appropriately called 'No Reality'.I got an admirable 0% in my art exam for ignoring the set questions and tracing the sleeve of the first Ruts album instead.Left school at 16 and practiced being socially inept.Moved to London.Made a valiant attempt at normality, wearing a tie and working for the Civil Service.In 1990 I returned to Harrogate just in time to suffer a breakdown.Whilst convalescing I wrote songs and made collages.I sent my bank manager some of my dark poetry .
He took me to court.
The early part of the 90's was spent sleeping until in 1994 I somehow ended up joining Francis Dunnery on tour, playing acoustic guitar and performing my surreal poetry to bemused audiences across the world, culminating in a live album 'One Night in Sauchiehall Street'.Spurred on by a short-lived belief in my abilities I formed dark-pop band YY28's , signed a major record deal and thought I could be the new Elvis.One year and one album later we lost the record deal. I returned to Yorkshire to hibernate, listen to dub reggae and Steve Reich and get nursed through another severe depression by Misty the dog. There then followed a frenzy of creativity. I produced over 100 collages, which I subsequently dumped at the tip for no apparent reason. I recorded and toured a collection of dark poetry, comic songs and primal noises, ominously called 'Itchy Circus Odour'. At this time I was often to be found performing on various stages in the UK wearing a sheeps mask and making moaning noises.
I recorded an album of melancholy pop songs called' Children Rule!' in 2003 followed in 2007 by a sprawling collection of poetry, comedy and death rattles 'A Conglomeration Of Jockstraps'. This year has seen the release of 'Melancholia', an experimental music and spoken word CD.
All my art, music and comedy can be bought here .

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 5/16/2006
Band Website: ashleyreaks.com
Band Members: To buy 'Itchy Circus Odour' and/or 'A Conglomeration Of Jockstraps' please click on the buttons below...£5 inc P&P...
Influences: childhood trauma, john shuttleworth, all boys public schools, ivor cutler, manic depression, john cooper clarke, innocence, ghosts, the north of england, spike milligan, punk rock, children's poetry, darts, rodeos, pillars, kiosks, farmyards, moss, lathes, wart-hogs, bunions, lamps, shields, veins, fauna, plinths, distemper, yeomen, shirts, crockery, sleds, thongs, worms, gaskets, scales, thorns, mangers, laudanum, charts, milestones, brackets, apes, helium, bricks, deadlocks,pirates, bacteria, transactions, squalor, larvae, prams, cellars, ravines, dust, debris, detritus, spores, abbatoirs, canoes, valves, prequels, termites, outlines, driftwood, holes, plus-fours, reindeer, spires, trotters, onions, floods, caverns, ranches, ointment, syndromes, graves, cots, rust, drains, doggerel, parables, planks, oats, callipers, varnish, rodents, ablutions, prisms, ducks, stools, jodhpurs, vanguards, stains, ether, miasma, lard, walls, torches, cows, velocity, mucus, wire, hounds, teeth, chins, labels, papayas, cliffs, nuggets, sloth, pants, limtation, musk, logs, coal, cribs, bellows, bell-ends, epilogues, crepes, carts, distance, hunger, innuendo, parasites, guillotines, traffic, sorrow, osteoarthritis, mildew, glue, frisbees, headstones, slumps, androids, houseboats, offal, clamps, feathers, drainage, nylon, petals, invoices, grapes, silage, nooses, corsets, sunlight, horror, field-mice, runways, buttocks, morsels, heraldry, knots, glucose, hermaphrodites, pillars, tar, soil, boulevards, skidmarks, rosters, sacrilege, humps, sentries, pylons, liver, bones, sadomasachism, socks, ferns, rakes, terror, slats, diameters, snapdragons, rope......
Sounds Like: The guy who played bass on 'D.I.S.C.O.' having his innards ripped out by a herd of portly walri..Clive Dunn's final erection..two bison falling out over a drug deal..'Little' Jimmy Osmond shitting his pants on the way home from Dudley Zoo..an astronaut's obituary..a smattering of owl smegma..John the Baptist's death rattle..the sad but necessary incineration of Gareth Gates..the collapse of papal rule..The Abominable Snowman getting his cock caught in his zip..Black Lace's funeral procession..Kendo Nagasaki licking Stuart Little's haemerrhoids..a solitary maggot doing the 'Hokey Cokey'..a Sunday morning knife-fight with that bloke from Kitchens Direct..a leopard impersonating some dandruff..a former member of Hare Krishna chewing some moss..the needless destruction of avaries..Geoffrey Boycott's arsehole exploding..
Type of Label: None

My Blog

’A Conglomeration of Jockstraps’ review

Ashley Reaks: A Conglomeration of Jockstraps (album)ONE of the Harrogate scene's most talented, if unorthodox, forces for nearly 20 years now, A Conglomeration of Jockstraps leaves you with the conclu...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:59:00 PST

The History Of Air’ video

Here's a video of my er...song (!) 'The History Of Air' off my recent dark comedy/poetry CD 'A Conglomeration Of Jockstraps'& It was done by the lovely people at Dance Music For Depressed People...Ch...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Mon, 05 May 2008 07:08:00 PST

London gigs March 10th - 13th

I'll be performing darkly comic songs, poetry and noises from my execrable new CD 'A Conglomeration of Jockstraps' at some London venues next week... Mon 10th - A Spoonful of Poison! at The Rhythm Fac...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 02:53:00 PST

Click Clack Open Mic

Every Wednesday I'm hosting an alternative open mic night called Click Clack. It takes place at The Iron Duke, Cold Bath Road, Harrogate, HG2 0NA Entry is FREE and sign-up for performers starts a...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:23:00 PST

The Never-Ending Story...

Brian 'The Yeoman' McGregor was born during the great storm of 1908. The storm devastated the surrounding countryside and also whipped the moustache off his Auntie Brenda. Brian's mum, Cheryl, was a h...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:11:00 PST

New album... A Conglomeration of Jockstraps

I've finally completed a follow-up album to 'Itchy Circus Odour' called 'A Conglomeration of Jockstraps'. It was originally going to be  a concept album based on the life and times of Modern Roma...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:52:00 PST

Questionnaire....please fill in...

[1] Do you think there's a satanic message in line-dancing?   [2] Where do you keep your collection of pigeon erotica?   [3] Are you available this Sunday for your own execution?  ...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:30:00 PST

er...poetry!

Ilie NastaseLast night I had a dream. I was kissing and cuddling with Ilie Nastase, the Rumanian tennis player from the 70's. Ilie was the leader in the close race to climax, humping and grindin...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:15:00 PST

New Years Resolutions.

Body: 1. To stop calling myself 'Archibald' in my sleep. 2. To stop leaving shit-stains on my mum's mink coat. 3. To treat Tiffany's road crew to a pie and pea supper. ...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 11:06:00 PST

New Year...a.k.a.'The Conglomeration of Jockstraps'

Ah!...A New Year...giving up smoking...going on a diet...joining the gym...getting a new job...beheading yourself...becoming a widely-respected peeping tom...covering yourself from head to foot in mi...
Posted by Ashley Reaks (Comedy) on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 07:53:00 PST