Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! profile picture

Chuck Norris Is A Wimp!

Jazz/Blues Musicians Wanted!!!

About Me


TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Neil William Morgan BA(Hons)... lol
Birthday: 13th January 1984.
Birthplace: Irvine, Ayreshire, Scotland.
Current Location: Hastings, East Sussex, England.
Eye Colour: Brown.
Hair Colour: Dark brown, with a slight ginger twang when the sunlight hits it. I've been noticing the odd ginger strand here and there though, which troubles me. I hastily remove them...
Height: About 5' 11". Avefage height I guess.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right.
Your Heritage: Celtic! I'm of the Morgan clan, who are close relatives to the McKay clan. Our roots are Welsh, but we married into McKay and the majority of us emigrated to Ireland and Scotland as a result.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Converse All-Stars.
Your Weakness: I'm really not sure...
Your Fears: Breaking a bone in either of my arms/hands. That would seriously destroy my career!! Other than that, giant man-sized ants would be pretty scary. Or snails the size of a bus! No thanks...
Your Perfect Pizza: Large, stuffed crust ham & mushroom from Pizza Hut - the original and best! :-P
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Actually starting to exercise/lift weights properly again, and to practice more. But since we're nearly in May now and I've failed in both those areas, I'll just say nothin...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Same as everybody's: LOL! I'm rarely, if ever, actually laughing out loud when I write that...
Thoughts First Waking Up: Somewhere along these lines: "Man, I am ill. What's up with my lips - how are they bleeding?! Why does my entire face feel like the World Cup Final match ball?!"
Your Best Physical Feature: Honestly no idea; you're better off asking my fiancée for that one!!
Your Bedtime: Depends. It varies from day to day, especially when I have a gig. Could be anything from eleven to about four in the morning...
Your Most Missed Memory: Probably my three years at Music college. I met a bunch of awesome people there, learned an awful lot, and just generally had loads of good times.
Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke with Citrus Zest!! :-D
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither - KFC.
Single or Group Dates: Single dates, definitely. I can't afford to pay for dinner for any more than two people at a time!!! lol
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I hate Ice Tea and I've got absolutely no idea what the other thing is... Next question!
Chocolate or Vanilla: Is it a cake or a milkshake? I'd go for chocolate cake over vanilla (unless it's cheesecake), but vanilla milkshake over chocolate. You know it makes sense...
Cappuccino or Coffee: Latte! :-D
Do you Smoke: Nope.
Do you Swear: I try not to...
Do you Sing: Yep.
Do you Shower Daily: I really don't have the time for it EVERY day, unfortunately...
Have you Been in Love: Yes indeed. Still am!!
Do you want to go to College: I've already been!! I'm seriously thinking about doing a Master's degree at some point though. So I guess the answer's yes!!!
Do you want to get Married: I am getting married!! April 26th 2008, to the most amazing girl in the world called Arriane.
Do you belive in yourself: Of course.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Thankfully no, with the amount of travelling around I do...
Do you think you are Attractive: I guess so, yeah. Not in a vain way or anything though...
Are you a Health Freak: Not really, but I do try to look after myself as much as I can.
Do you get along with your Parents: Of course, most of the time.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yeah, but my dog REALLY doesn't!
Do you play an Instrument: Several, to varying standards, but guitar is my main one. I've been playing since I was about ten, and I teach for a living now.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Pretty much every day!!! :-P
In the past month have you Smoked: Nope.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yeah, with my fiancée if that counts (which it surely does!).
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yeah, of course - loads. There's a lady in my life, remember?? lol
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Unfortunately not! You can't get them over here!! Oreos are yummy...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I've never eaten it in my life, and I'm not sure I want to...
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yeah, I'm on stage at least once a week. It's my job.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Who in their right mind would dump me?! lol
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Definitely not!!! The sea's WAY too cold and dirty in England...
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nope.
Ever been Drunk: Who hasn't?!
Ever been called a Tease: Not that I can remember...
Ever been Beaten up: Thankfully no.
Ever Shoplifted: A very, very, very long time ago. And it was only a handful of penny sweets from Woolworths!!!
How do you want to Die: With honour and diginity.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I love my job right now actually, but it'd be pretty sweet if this whole band thing took off and I ended up as a bit of a rock star!! That wouldn't suck...
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan. Beautiful scenery and incredible culture.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Not fussy really...
Favourite Hair Color: Brunette.
Short or Long Hair: Long, and a little bit curly is great... :-P
Height: Slightly shorter than me.
Weight: Not too fussy - as long as they have a nice figure. I don't like them too skinny and boyish like Paris 'Peter Pan' Hilton, but on the other hand Dawn French is somewhat on the large side for my tastes! Nice curves in all the right places is fine by me... lo
Best Clothing Style: As long as they take a bit of pride in their appearance and don't dress like a complete tart then I'm not too bothered!!
Number of Drugs I have taken: Unfortunately it's four. But nothing for a VERY long time, and certainly nothing ever again. Except alcohol... (althought the answer would be five if we're counting that!)
Number of CDs I own: Oh easily somewhere between four and five hundred, without a doubt.
Number of Piercings: Two, both at the top of my left ear.
Number of Tattoos: Three; two on my right arm and one on my left. Hopefully getting more soon, but I don't think my fiancée likes them...
Number of things in my Past I Regret: One, off the top of my head. But it's nothing major really...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Your results:
You are Superman Superman 85% The Flash 80% Iron Man 75% Green Lantern 70% Spider-Man 65% Wonder Woman 57% Supergirl 52% Batman 45% Catwoman 40% Robin 32% Hulk 30% You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
Good day!! My name's Neil and I live in sunny old South East England. I have a BA(Hons) degree in Contemporary Popular Music Performance from the Academy Of Contemporary Music in Guildford, Surrey, where I had the privilege of studying under the supervision of some of the planet's most incredible guitar players (Dave Kilminster, Guthrie Govan, Pete Callard, etc.). I'm a guitar wielding human male, currently lacking any official full-time employment, and am as such pimping out my guitarophone services to anyone who will pay what I charge. Or anyone who looks nice. Or both. I am, however, a part of the Guitar Faculty at the Southern Music Academy (www.southernmusicacademy.co.uk), and in addition I offer private one-on-one lessons - feel free to get in touch if you're interested!!!
On top of teaching, I do the odd live thing here and there for various things. I've played at a variety of weddings, conferences, dinner parties, etc., as well as countless other gigs with various bands/artists, including my own. Over the years I've been lucky enough to play at some awesome venues, such as the Birmingham N.E.C. and the Royal Albert Hall!! If you want to book me for anything like that, then feel free to get in touch!! Right then, that's the business bit out of the way...
When I'm not playing/teaching the guitar I'm usually either eating, sleeping, drinking, playing on my XBox (FIFA '07, baby!!!) or at my fiancée's house, where I usually tend to be doing one or two of the above anyway; albeit in the company of a much prettier face than my own!!! We're getting married next April. Yay!!!
If you happen to see me in the pub and you're a generous soul, then I'll have a pint of Kronenbourg please!
Feel free to add me to your MSN, too: [email protected] is the address!!
I overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take the quiz:
Which Guitar Player Are You?

John Petrucci
You are John Petrucci! You are the lead guitarist for Dream Theater, one of the most underknown and underappreciated bands of the past 15 years. You are a pioneer to progressive rock, and an incredible musical composer. You have one of the widest scale ranges of all guitar players.
Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
***^^^What does this guy actually MEAN when he says "one of the widest scale ranges of all guitar players"?! Honestly...

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Music Notes - Image Hosting

My Interests

Music is my main interest. I grew up surrounded by it, and that's how I want to stay. There's only one kind of music I can't stand which is that commercial Drum & Bass garbage (I say commercial, because the underground sgtuff is actually pretty decent) but literally everything else is fair game for me. My favourites are metal/rock, all jazz (particularly fusion and bebop), blues, country/bluegrass, and classical. I also really like the old 80's stuff like Bon Jovi, Europe, Van Halen, and Whitesnake.

My second favourite thing to do in the world is eat. I love steak (medium rare please!), lasagne, bangers & mash, pizza, cheese and bacon burgers, chicken burgers, barbecues, chicken kebabs, doner kebabs, pitta bread with houmous for dipping, roast beef with Yorkshire puddings, those new Chunky Kit Kats with peanut butter, toast, cheese on toast, peanut butter on toast, Jaffa Cakes, Hobnobs, Maryland cookies, anything by Ginster's, Thai Sweet Chilli crisps, tuna sandwiches, bacon sandwiches, and KFC fillet tower meals. Any or all of the above topped off with a nice lager - my favourites include Kronenbourg, Grolsch, Amstel, Corona, Carlsberg Export, Oranjeboom, San Miguel, Mythos, Castlemaine XXXX, Beck's, Budweiser, Brahma, and Miller - and I'm in heaven!

Other than the above, I like to read - I love Stephen King novels - and I enjoy going to to the pub with my mates. Also, like pretty much every English male human, I'm a big football fan. I support Liverpool, but I also follow A.C. Milan; the football in Italy is second to none, and those guys are amazing... I recently caught the Sudoku bug, too. And, of course, I have a major soft-spot for attractive members of the opposite sex!!! :-P

I'd like to meet:

All fellow earth-dwellers of any shape, size, and/or variety, but particularly Jason Becker. That man is a real inspiration...

Music:

As many of my favourite bands/artists as I can think of right now: Arch Enemy, Lamb Of God, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Trivium, Megadeth, Meshuggah, Opeth, Pink Floyd, In Flames, Chimaira, Annihilator, Hatebreed, Shadows Fall, Mendeed, Bon Jovi, Hoobastank, Def Leppard, Threshold, Porcupine Tree, Caliban, The Haunted, All That Remains, Unearth, Alter Bridge, Mastodon, Slayer, Godsmack, Children Of Bodom, Poison, Machine Head, Killswitch Engage, Fear Factory, From Autumn To Ashes, Atreyu, Michael Jackson, Coldplay, Pantera, John Petrucci/Dream Theater, Ron Thal/Bumblefoot, Prince & New Power Generation, Sting & The Police, The Eagles, The Goo Goo Dolls, The Fray, Devin Townsend/Strapping Young Lad, Queen, Joe Pass, Stevie Wonder, Pain Of Salvation, Avenged Sevenfold, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil, 36 Crazyfists, Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, Muse, Rage Against The Machine, One Minute Silence, Paul Gilbert/Racer X, Symphony X, King's X, Rush, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, Thrice, Alexisonfire, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Herbie Hancock, Sigur Ros, Deftones, Black Label Society, Incubus, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Van Halen, Extreme, Ill Nino, Europe, Whitesnake, Robben Ford, Jack Johnson, Damien Rice, Gorillaz, Jose Gonzalez, Massive Attack, Machine Head, 65DaysOfStatic, Disturbed, Still Remains, Slipknot, As I Lay Dying, Korn, Audioslave, Tool, Alice In Chains, Drowning Pool, Frank Zappa, Eric Johnson, Bullet For My Valentine, The Used, Bleeding Through, Fall Out Boy, Fightstar, Funeral For A Friend, Lost Prophets, Green Day, A Perfect Circle, Esbjorn Svensson Trio, George Benson, John Scofield, Tower Of Power, Average White Band, Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers, Jamiroquai, Pat Metheny, Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Reuben Morgan, Michael W. Smith, Matt Redman, Chris Tomlin, Jeremy Camp, Tim Hughes, Casting Crowns, Mike Stern, Wes Montgomery, Wayne Shorter, Hank Mobley, Thelonius Monk, Martin Taylor, McCoy Tyner, Wynton Marsalis, Larry Carlton, Dave Weckl, Dennis Chambers, Albert Lee, Bill Frisell, Brett Garsed, Chet Atkins, Vince Gill, Brad Paisley, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Stan Getz, Norah Jones, Wayne Krantz, Keith Jarrett, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Sardinas, Reef, Guns 'n' Roses, Soil, Amon Amarth, Eighteen Visions, Obituary, God Forbid, J. S. Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Paganini, Haydn, Rachmaninov, Holst, Elgar, Dvorak, Chopin, Wagner, Sor, Carulli, Carcassi, Villa Lobos, Debussy, Al DiMeola, Mahavishnu Orchestra...

There are only two bands in existence who's music I absolutely cannot tolerate, under any cicumstances. I will name and shame them here: The White Stripes and The Streets. These people are lagrely talentless individuals who have somehow, and for some reason, had bestowed upon them the amazing priviledge of recording and releasing their 'art' for commercial wholesale and private retail. Frankly, this nauseates me - especially given the multitude of far more deserving candidates who are unjustly subjected to flipping burgers for the rest of their days. If you want to torture me (but why the hell would you want to do that?) then all you have to do is strap me into a chair and force me to listen to their music on repeat. But of course I'd really rather you didn't...

Movies:

My absolute all-time favourite film is Braveheart. Other firm favourites of mine include Rock Star, Signs, Zoolander, Team America World Police, A Clockwork Orange, Lord Of The Rings, Saving Private Ryan, the entire Godfather series, Goodfellas, Scarface, Donnie Brasco, The Departed, Schindler's List, American Pie, Star Wars, School Of Rock, This Is Spinal Tap, We Were Soldiers, Leon, Fight Club, Seven, Napoleon Dynamite, Baseketball, The Crow, Shrek, Bruce Almighty, Beavis And Butthead Do America, The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, Silent Hill, Sin City, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Pulp Fiction, Mission Imposisble, The Last Samurai, Gladiator, and of course the mighty TOP GUN!!!

Television:

PRISON BREAK!!! Lost, Invasion (whatever happened to that?!), 24, Friends, Spongebob Squarepants, The Simpsons, Scrubs, 8 Simple Rules, Family Guy, American Dad, Little Britain, Peep Show, The Office, Hollyoaks, Extras, Top Gear, Match Of The Day.

I also love watching Points Of View; it cracks me up how some people will complain about anything!!!

Books:

Currently reading: 'Recoil' by Andy McNab, a biography of Jimi Hendrix, and the Bible.

Heroes:

Jesus Christ (big time!!), William Wallace, Steve Vai, all the old blues/jazz legends, Gandhi, Napoleon Dynamite, and the legend that is David Brent. Fact.

My Blog

RECOIL Are No More!!!

On Saturday 21st July 2007 RECOIL played their last ever gig!!!We've decided to knock it on the head for several reasons, but mainly that old cop out of 'musical differences'. Basically, metal isn't w...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 03:01:00 PST

Band Members Wanted!!!

I'm looking into the idea of putting together some kind of jazz/blues band, along the lines of Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, John Mayer, Robben Ford, Larry Carlton, John Scofield, Pat Metheny...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:24:00 PST

Give Me A Job!!!

As the title of this blog suggests, I would really quite like a job in the near future... Has anybody got any vacancies that might be of interest to me (or indeed vacancies they might specifically wan...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 05:34:00 PST

News and stuff...

Hellooooo!! I'm off sick from work again (you catch all sorts of stuff when you work in schools), so I thought I'd fart about on MySpace for a bit - hence the new layout, updated profile, and this blo...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 03:28:00 PST

It's been a while...

No, no, no, not that rubbish song by emo-metal whingers Staind - it actually has been a while!!! I've been really quite busy lately, resigning form my rubbish job and what not. Trouble is, although no...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 03:58:00 PST

Killswitch Last Night

Disappointing. I missed Bring Me The Horizon because I didn't finish work until 4:30, but by all accounts they were terrible (and from what I've heard of their stuff I can believe that!). The Ha...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 02:01:00 PST

My Birthday

Well, to kick things off I got to the train station to meet up with a bunch of mates. We were supposed to be going up to Brixton to watch the mighty Killswitch Engage, but it eventually transpired tha...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:45:00 PST

Christmas and all that jazz...

Ho ho ho!! Christmas was good, as usual - I'm a big kid really. Except for I don't still believe in Santa. Well, not totally... To make this December even better, I got two new guitars this month!!! C...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:49:00 PST

I Was Blown Away...

Well, Lacuna Coil were actually amazing on Saturday night. I'm not the world's biggest fan - although I do like them a lot - but nobdy can deny that they were totally on it that night. A gre...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:43:00 PST

Bleugh...

Today I am well ill. I feel like I'm going to explode, leaving various sized splatters of blood, guts, vomit, and snot all over my house. What small solace I have in this hour of need comes ...
Posted by Chuck Norris Is A Wimp! on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 12:09:00 PST