* Jeff * De'Delusional Dude Lebowski profile picture

* Jeff * De'Delusional Dude Lebowski

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

About Me

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as she made me happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.I am now 53, and am looking for a woman with very big breasts.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

This would be easier answering WHO I'd like NOT TO MEET: Fluff, Flavor of the week, teenie-boppers nor twinkies 0 thru 35 asking to view their web-cams on this site. Girls!?! Grow-up, get a real job, normal life and develope a little self-esteem/respect "prefer my fantasy's a little older and in the flesh!" while were at it "cover Dat thang back up!!!" ya really need to work on your career choices************************************************** *********************************************** An old man who loves to fish was sitting in his boat on a lake when he heard a voice say, "PICK ME UP." he looked around and could not see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice again, "PICK ME UP."He looked in the water and there floating on the top was a frog. The old man said, "ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?"The frog said, "YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU. PICK ME UP AND KISS ME AND I'LL TURN INTO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN AND WILL GIVE YOU THE MOST WONDERFUL SEXUAL PLEASURES THAT YOU HAVE EVER DREAMED OF."The old man looked at the frog for a short time and then reached over and picked it up carefully, placing it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, "WHAT ARE YOU NUTS, DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? I SAID KISS ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU SEXUAL PLEASURES LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER HAD".The old man opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "AT MY AGE I'D RATHER HAVE A TALKING FROG".************************************************Andy Rooney says,"As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why".An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 35 give a damn what you might think about her.An older single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships and "commitment."The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot or run you over multiple times with the family S.U.V if they think they can get away with it.An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less.Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone.Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of.Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 50 there is a bald, paunchy relic in plaid pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress.

Music:


Movies:

Mission Accomplished


"The film that shook my faith in the Iraq war"

The Oil Factor: Behind the War on Terror


Narrated by Ed Asner. Keywords: Persian Gulf War, United Nations, U.N., in violation of international law, bombings, illegal, marc garlasco, weaponry, iraqi leadership, mohamed assan, president george w. bush, administration, andrew shlapak, karen kwiatkowski, saddam hussein, zbigniew brzezinski, weapons of mass destruction, wmd, pnac, project for the new american century, vice president dick cheney, donald rumsfeld, paul wolfowitz, jeb bush, new world order, nwo, neocons, neo-cons, gary schmitt, randa habib, ahmed chalabi, george tenet, john negroponte, cia, covert operations, energy supplies, mike, michael c. ruppert, oil consumption, supply, demand, economy, economics, pierre-marie gallois, supplies, nepdg, noam chomsky, david mulholland, pipelines, price of oil, dathar al kahar, refinery, refineries, fields, drilling, radioactive, radioactivity, du, depleted uranium, uranium 238, 234, 235, toxicity, cancers, birth defects, contamination, paul bremer, dyncorp, halliburton, national security council, nsc, bechtel, guantanamo bay, defense contractors, kellogg, brown & root, detention concentration camps, elizabeth hodgkin, abu ghraib, governments covered up, osama bin laden, taliban, al qaeda, natural gas, ahmed rashid, mullah omar, enemy combatants, geneva convention, hamed karzai, opium poppies, heroin, anti coalition forces, resources, terrorism.

Oil, Smoke & Mirrors.


"Oil, Smoke and Mirrors" is an independent 50 minute documentary on peak oil, 9/11 and the war on terror.The DVD, with 60 mins of additional interview material, can be purchased at www.OilSmokeAndMirrors.com.Richard Heinberg, Colin Campbell, Michael Meacher MP, Julian Darley, Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed, Philip J.Berg, Webster G. Tarpley, Andreas Von Beulow, David Shayler, Christopher Bollyn, Paul Roberts.

Heroes:


TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Jeff
Birthday: Leo
Birthplace: DetRiot
Current Location: Lakesite Tn
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5' 11"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right on
Your Heritage: Irish Mutt
The Shoes You Wore Today: Soul power, me flip-flopped
Your Weakness: Women with Intelligence, Personality & Compassion
Your Fears: Jaded women
Your Perfect Pizza: Supreme
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Financially Solvent "Yeah Right" I've got a better chance at achieving WORLD PEACE?
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: WTF... WMD's
Thoughts First Waking Up: Coffee
Your Best Physical Feature: I's
Your Bedtime: Ready?
Your Most Missed Memory: Childhood Innocents
Pepsi or Coke: Pep si
MacDonalds or Burger King: The King has left the building
Single or Group Dates: Single However orgies can be fun
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Green tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate Cake
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: Only when I'm on fire or the occasional cuban cigar
Do you Swear: Hell no!
Do you Sing: I'm nada stoolie
Do you Shower Daily: si senor
Have you Been in Love: Certainly! Currently in lust mode
Do you want to go to College: y wud ei,Aweddy Hi Lee edumakated. Heds filed whit smrtyness n entilek
Do you want to get Married: Rather be poked in the eye with a sharp stick
Do you belive in yourself: si senor....Also believe in Peanut Butter
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when forgetting the motion lotion
Do you think you are Attractive: Nada
Are you a Health Freak: Sometimes
Do you get along with your Parents: RIP
Do you like Thunderstorms: Hold me I'm scared
Do you play an Instrument: Nada
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nada
In the past month have you Smoked: Si senor a Cu bano Cigar
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Love
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Few
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Nada
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Smells a little fishy don't ya think
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nada... Police line-up count?
In the past month have you been Dumped: On
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Haven't seen skinny for a long time
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Kiss
Ever been Drunk: Don't remember I blacked out
Ever been called a Tease: Nada, just the usual; Asshole, Dork, Dummy, Stupid...etc...etc...
Ever been Beaten up: Been beaten UP beaten DOWN Even beat-IN round the G.W. Bush
Ever Shoplifted: Tried, much Too Heavy
How do you want to Die: Snoring
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Your Majesty, King Jeff. It's good to be King long as it's not "Come to sunny California and be treated like a (Rodney) King".
What country would you most like to Visit: Texas
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Any
Favourite Hair Color: Any
Short or Long Hair: Any
Height: Any
Weight: Any
Best Clothing Style: Birthday suit
Number of Drugs I have taken: Nada
Number of CDs I own: Few
Number of Piercings: Nada
Number of Tattoos: dos
Things in my Past I Regret: No Sorrows No Regrets... Take it to the limit one more time(Eagles)
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My Blog

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd

Manlaws 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Ange...
Posted by Jeff on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 09:55:00 PST

An Illegal Dam Story......

An Illegal Dam Story......you have to read to the end to appreciate this. This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michig...
Posted by Jeff on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 06:27:00 PST

Dear Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 in...
Posted by Jeff on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 02:23:00 PST

Prison Escapee

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy...
Posted by Jeff on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:40:00 PST

New Year

  When it comes to the viability of renewable energy the number one elephant in the room is how and in what quantities we use energy. Curently we drive an expantionist economy that is fueled by t...
Posted by Jeff on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 08:40:00 PST

Reality Check

Wars throughout history have been waged for conquest and plunder.... the working class who fight all the battles, the working class who make the supreme sacrifices, the working class who freely shed t...
Posted by Jeff on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 10:30:00 PST

Renewable Energy

The consumption of renewable energy by individuals, small business, corporations, local, state and federal governments is now the MOST PRESSING MORAL IMPERATIVE OF OUR TIME. The consumption of non-ren...
Posted by Jeff on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 08:08:00 PST

Life Explained:

Life Explained: A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very...
Posted by Jeff on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 10:00:00 PST

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Am...
Posted by Jeff on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 07:18:00 PST

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the ...
Posted by Jeff on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 12:03:00 PST